An Honest Friend<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\nLast night at our dinner table, a friend held out the following scenario, followed by a question. The scenario: you\u2019re out eating a meal with friends, and one of your friends happens to notice that you have a bit of food on your face. The question is whether your friend should say something to you or let it be in hopes of not embarrassing you. My wife was quick to answer that she would much prefer someone to tell her that something was on her face. In fact, she said she would be upset to know that someone else knew she was compromised by ketchup and didn\u2019t tell her! My wife wants honesty. You should as well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Honesty is a funny thing, though. It\u2019s easy to want and simultaneously hard to receive. That\u2019s one reason why Solomon likens a friend\u2019s honesty to \u201cwounds\u201d (Prov. 27:6). Though he calls them \u201cfaithful,\u201d he admits that a friend\u2019s honesty hurts in some sense like a wound. Have you ever been stung by someone telling you the unflattering truth about yourself?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I recently had a dear friend tell me that I can be hard to work with because I am too committed to my way of doing things. That stung. It still stings. You know what stings the most? The fact that he was right\u2014I can be that way. And while I knew that already in some sense, his directness and honesty helped me see more clearly that this part of me needs to change. My pride still stings, but my heart is glad for his willingness to tell me the truth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Receiving criticism isn\u2019t easy, but it\u2019s important because we don\u2019t always see ourselves clearly. We need people to watch our blindside and point out when there\u2019s a problem. And not just anyone… we need friends to do this for us. After all, if friends who love you can\u2019t tell you the truth, who can? Or to say it differently, who would you rather hear the tough stuff from\u2014someone who you know loves you and is loyal to you, or someone you\u2019re suspicious of or don\u2019t know that well? There should be safety for the truth within the high walls of committed friendship. Within those walls, you should seek to have a friendship where iron can sharpen iron, and both you and your friend can grow (Prov. 27:17).<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It’s not only criticism that you need to hear from your friends, though. You also need their godly encouragement. Too often, we think of encouragement as being synonymous with flattery, but this should not be. A friend once told me that flattery is saying to someone what you wouldn\u2019t say about them when they aren\u2019t around. I think this is a good description. You flatter when you tell someone what you think they want to hear, even though you know it isn\u2019t true. Scripture has a lot to say about how corrosive flattery is. Take David, for instance, who wrote, \u201cEveryone utters lies to his neighbor; with flattering lips and a double heart they speak. May the LORD cut off all flattering lips, the tongue that makes great boasts.\u201d Strong words from the shepherd turned king. So, you don\u2019t want a flatterer for a friend.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But you do want a friend who will offer you godly encouragement. This can take at least two different forms. First, godly encouragement may involve sharing with you the good things they see in you and enjoy about you. This kind of encouragement could be small in nature: \u201cI really love your personality. You\u2019re a great time.\u201d \u201cYou are a really caring person. I am grateful I have you as a friend.\u201d \u201cI love how disciplined you are. I want to grow to be more like that.\u201d Or it could involve bigger, more eternal matters: \u201cI see how much you\u2019ve grown in your hunger for and understanding of God\u2019s Word lately, and I praise the Lord for that.\u201d \u201cI know you\u2019re suffering a lot right now, but I want you to know how encouraged I am by the way you\u2019ve remained full of faith that God is good.\u201d \u201cYour hospitality to people in your church is exemplary. I want to be like you in that way!\u201d A friend who can speak an honest, encouraging word is hard to beat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The second form that godly encouragement can take is when your friends recall God\u2019s promises back to you lest you forget them. One of my favorite passages of Scripture is 1 Thessalonians 4:13-5:11 where Paul tells the fearful Thessalonian congregation about what they may expect at the end of the age. The passage is full of glory, focusing on Jesus’ descent from the heavens, his raising the dead, and transforming the living. At the end of the section, Paul instructs the church to \u201cencourage one another and build one another up\u2026\u201d Given that this is a repeat piece of instruction from 4:18, it\u2019s safe to say that the way the church was to encourage each other was to recall for one another the truths that Paul had been on about in this section of Scripture. We should do the same. Godly friends remind one another about God\u2019s words\u2014words of promise, warning, and comfort. A good friend helps his own keep their eyes fixed on Jesus in this way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A Loving Friend<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\nHere is the most obvious and essential trait of a good friend\u2014love. A good friend loves. The Bible makes this point over and over again. Again, Solomon wrote, \u201cA friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity\u201d (Prov. 17:17). One thing you should absolutely be able to say of your good friends is that they love you. And nowhere is a friend\u2019s love more valuable than when you\u2019re going through something hard in your life. In fact, Solomon likens friendship to brotherhood and then says that it exists for adversity. A \u201cbrother\u201d (friend) \u201cis born\u201d (exists) for seasons of suffering. What keeps a friend in their seat when you\u2019re taking life\u2019s left hook? Their love for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A friend\u2019s love also looks like their willingness to sacrifice for your good. Jesus said, \u201cGreater love has no one than this, that someone would lay down his life for his friends\u201d (John 15:13). Sacrificing one\u2019s very life for a friend may seem extreme when compared to the normal register we use to talk about friendship, but Jesus raises the point so we should sit with it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
First off, Jesus is the ultimate friend to sinners like us. He showed us his love in friendship by laying his life down for us. In doing so, he paid the penalty of sin for all those who would repent and believe in him. No friend loves like our friend Jesus. And we need no friend more than we need Jesus. If you don\u2019t have Jesus as your friend, let me encourage you to stop right now and ask yourself this question: \u201cWhat is holding me back?\u201d Turn from your sin and trust in the Lord Jesus today. He promises in his Word that he will be a friend of God to you\u2014that you will belong to him and that he will save you from your sins if you call on him in faith (Rom. 10:9\u201311). And remember, the Bible teaches that friendship<\/em> with the world is enmity with God<\/em> (James 4:4), reminding us that true friendship orients us toward Christ rather than away from Him.<\/p>\n\n\n\nThis means that Jesus is not only the Savior of His people but also the model of friendship\u2014proof that Jesus is a friend<\/em> to sinners and that believers can truly say, \u201cI am a friend of God.<\/em>\u201d His way shows us what real love, sacrifice, and loyalty look like, forming the foundation for all Proverbs on friendship and every picture of God\u2019s friend in Scripture.<\/p>\n\n\n\nThis is why the way Jesus loves His friends must shape how we love ours\u2014not as a final conclusion, but as the framework we keep returning to as we grow in godly friendship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
None of us can love our friends exactly like Jesus loves us. His love knew no bounds and stopped at no measure to win us as friends. He loves us perfectly, and we can\u2019t do that. That said, a good friend should model their love after Jesus\u2019s love for us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Now, most of us probably won\u2019t be asked to lay our lives down for our friends. Side note: You probably shouldn\u2019t lead an interview by asking someone if they\u2019d die for you. That would just be weird. And yet, Jesus creates the category of friendship that can go as far as death itself. If sacrificial death is fair game in extreme circumstances, surely good friends should happily accept the day-to-day responsibilities that come with being a sacrificing friend.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In case those day-to-day responsibilities are unclear, let\u2019s get really specific with some concrete examples. When your basement floods at 11 PM, you want a friend who will show up with rain boots and a shop vac. When you get laid off at work, you want a friend who will make sure you and your family have gas and groceries. When you are stranded with a dead car battery, you want a friend to show up with jumper cables. When you sin and suffer as a result, you want a friend who will accompany you through that dark night and remind you of God\u2019s promise to forgive all those who trust in Jesus. When you have a miscarriage and are in grief, you want a friend who will sit with you, weep with you, and remember you and your loss. When your marriage is in trouble, you want a friend who won\u2019t judge you but will listen and offer godly counsel to help you and your spouse put it back together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Friends show their love by sacrificing for one another in these ways and countless others. Do you have those kinds of friends? Life is hard, and you\u2019re going to need friends to help get you through. \u201cFair enough,\u201d you may be thinking, \u201cbut where, pray tell, do you recommend I go to find friends who would do all that for me?\u201d We\u2019ll answer that question in the next section.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Reflection Questions<\/em><\/strong>:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n\n- Do you have any examples of a loyal, honest, loving friend in your life? Share those with your mentor.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- In what other ways can good friends model their care from Jesus\u2019s care for us?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Which of these qualities do you think is hardest to find in a friend? Which of these qualities are hardest for you to model? Why?<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n
3 How to Find Friends<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Here we are at the nuts-and-bolts section of this life skill guide. You probably thought we\u2019d never make it! How on earth do you find good (godly) friends?! I only have one ask of you as we jump into answering this question\u2014don\u2019t assume you know what I\u2019m talking about by simply reading my headlines. Go slow through this section and think creatively about how you might more regularly apply these principles to your life in order to find godly friends. As Jesse from Full House<\/em> would ask, \u201ccapeesh?\u201d Good. Here\u2019s my best shot at giving you a guide for how to gain godly friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n1. Pray<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\nSounds obvious, right? But I\u2019m serious. If you take stock of your friendships and find yourself short, you should make that a matter of prayer. I love Jesus\u2019s word to us in Matthew 7. He says in verses 7-11:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ask and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks received, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My aforementioned sixteen-month-old son has basically three words at his disposal, and one of them is \u201cdaddy.\u201d When I\u2019m sitting in my reading chair and he walks over to me, he will say my name and then just stick his arms out and start babbling. I know what he\u2019s asking me for. He wants me to pick him up so he can sit on my lap. Now, what kind of father would I be if, instead of taking him into my arms, I gave him my foot? The worst kind, that\u2019s what.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jesus teaches us to think of God like the best kind of Father in that we can go to him and share with him our needs. God does not despise us for what we need. Instead, he provides it in spades. So, if you find yourself short on friends, ask the Lord to provide for you and trust that that is exactly what he will do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And remember, Scripture gives us many bible verses<\/em> about friendship<\/em> that show God\u2019s heart for relationships. Turning to the Bible on friendship<\/em> can steady your confidence that God truly cares about this area of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n2. Go to Church!<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\nThis is the most important point I want to make in this section, not because the others are unimportant, but because I think this point is the one most often overlooked. There is no place where you can go to find godly friends that\u2019s better than a local, gospel-preaching church. Some of the clearest bible verses<\/em> on friendship<\/em> appear in the context of God\u2019s people walking side by side, reminding us that Christian friendships grow best where God\u2019s Word is central.<\/p>\n\n\n\nWhy? Four reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
First, gospel-preaching churches gather every Lord\u2019s Day. Come 10 AM on Sunday, you don\u2019t have to wonder where the Christians in your town are. They\u2019re likely in church! It\u2019s like fishing in a barrel with the gathering itself acting as the barrel!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The fish part of the analogy brings me to my second reason why there\u2019s no better place than the church to find godly friends. That is, gospel-preaching churches are comprised of Christians who agree about the most important things concerning the Christian faith. Sure, you can meet friends at school or work or the gym, and they might turn out to be Christians. Gospel-preaching local churches, on the other hand, are Christian by definition. That means the people in churches share your views on God, the world, how to be saved, what happens when you die, how you should live, etc.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This shared foundation is exactly why the Bible\u2019s teaching on friendship flourishes in the context of the church\u2014because believers are already united around Christ.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Okay, now for the third reason why local churches are the best place to meet and make godly friends: the church covenant. Bet you didn\u2019t see that one coming, did you? Most local churches have covenants. A covenant is an agreement made by all the members of a church concerning how everyone is going to live and follow Jesus together. Typically, each member must agree to the church covenant in order to join the church. Here is a paragraph from my church\u2019s covenant to help you get an idea:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We will walk together in brotherly love, as becomes the members of a Christian Church, exercise an affectionate care and watchfulness over each other, and faithfully admonish and entreat one another as occasion may require.[ii]<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nRemember what I said about the high walls of committed friendship? Joining a local church where there is a covenant that binds the members to one another gives every friendship within the church a head start on building those walls. I have some amazing friends in my church. In the case of each of those friendships, we started from our shared faith and our covenant with one another and every other member of our church. What a privilege!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And because those friendships grow in a place shaped by God\u2019s Word, even a single bible verse on<\/em> friendship<\/em> can carry tremendous weight as we learn how to care for one another with wisdom, patience, and grace.<\/p>\n\n\n\nHere is one last point on why a gospel preaching local church is the best place to make godly friends\u2014in the church godly elders shepherd you. The Bible says elders are a gift to the church (Eph. 4:11-12). This is true in so many more ways than I have time to mention, so here is just one for you to chew on. Elders can help you in your pursuit of godly friendships. My elders have certainly helped me, whether by suggesting I reach out to someone to get a coffee and talk about life, by coaching me through sticky friendship situations, or by simply praying for me to be a good friend to other church members. If you need godly friends, talk to your elders.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
3. Be Vulnerable and Forward Trust.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\nSome of you read that subheading and thought to yourself, \u201cI\u2019m out.\u201d I know, I know. Vulnerability is tough. That\u2019s especially the case if you\u2019ve been there, done that, and have the relational scars to prove it. Unfortunately, life in a broken world often results in brokenness even within Christian friendships. And yet, Christianity lived out requires community, and community is built on friendships characterized by, in part, vulnerability.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Although the writer of Ecclesiastes was primarily addressing the value of companionship in the workplace, his insight into relationships easily translates to the realm of friendships. He writes, \u201cif two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him\u2014a threefold cord is not quickly broken\u201d (Eccl. 4:11-12). The basic premise is that there is strength in dependent relationships and danger in being alone. Did you catch that word dependent? Another way to say dependence in relationship is to reference vulnerability.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My wife and I didn\u2019t have any friends when we first joined our church. Due to a significant loss in our lives, we knew we needed friends \u2014and we needed them fast. One of the ways God graciously allowed us to build friendships was by giving us the courage to be vulnerable about our grief. People rushed to our aid, and many of our closest friendships were born.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What about you? If you\u2019re going to make friends, you must be vulnerable about your weaknesses, your grief, your past, your hopes, and your struggles. Sure, it\u2019s not easy, but it\u2019s necessary. Friendships without vulnerability often remain in the realm of the superficial. By superficial, I mean you talk about work or mutual interests or family, but you don\u2019t get to the heavy stuff\u2014the stuff that feels like it will crush you if you don\u2019t get some help with it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Vulnerability with the tough stuff requires forwarding trust. By this, I mean you don\u2019t necessarily wait for someone to prove their trustworthiness in order to share what\u2019s weighing you down. Instead, you rely on your mutually agreed upon gospel convictions and covenant, and you assume the best of the person you\u2019re being vulnerable with. Assuming the best is very counter-cultural. It\u2019s also very Christian. So forward trust, assume the best, and be vulnerable with your new friends in your local church. Ask them to pray for you in whatever you\u2019re struggling with. Invite them to challenge you in your sinful temptations. Let them carry your burdens and sorrows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
4. Go First <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\nI\u2019ve heard many Christians say that the Bible condemns loving yourself. I hate to be a myth-buster, but this simply is not true. What is true is that the Bible condemns loving yourself most. But nowhere does the Bible teach that man is to have zero regard for himself. In fact, Jesus seems to say the opposite when he delivers the second greatest command: \u201cYou shall love your neighbor as yourself\u201d (Matt. 22:39). How should you love your neighbor? Like you love you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What this means for friendship is that you go first in loving others like you love yourself, and want others to love you. You be the friend you hope to have. The alternative, of course, is to sit and wait for someone to come along and really impress you with their care, and then and only then show them kindness and love in return. This strategy is not to be pursued for at least a few reasons. First, your care for others should be modeled after Jesus\u2019s care for you. He didn\u2019t ask you to serve him first. Rather, he came to serve you and give his life as a ransom for your soul\u2019s sake (Matt. 20:28).<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Second, giving only when getting isn\u2019t kind to the other person. Only giving when you get calls into question what motivated you to give in the first place. Instead, Scripture calls us to \u201cLove one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor\u201d (Rom. 12:10). <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The last reason you should not wait to receive friendship before you show it is purely pragmatic, but still valid\u2014waiting will slow you down. Ever hear the phrase, \u201cthe early bird gets the worm?\u201d I think the same principle applies to friendships. The ones who have friends are often the ones who went first to be the kind of friend they hoped to gain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Here are some practical ways you might think about going first in friendship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n- Go up to someone after church one Sunday and ask them at least three curious questions about them. These questions could range from how long they\u2019ve been in the church to where they work to how they were converted.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Okay, so now you know someone\u2019s name and three interesting things about them. Ask them if they want to come over to your house for a meal or meet you for coffee sometime. Go first in getting a one-on-one meeting scheduled.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Let\u2019s say you\u2019ve now got the beginnings of a new friendship cooking, and you find out the other person has a significant need of some kind (e.g., chronic pain, a super busy schedule, an unruly amount of housework to do). Ask yourself the question, \u201cIs there anything I can do to serve my new friend at their point of need?\u201d Once you arrive at a conclusion to that question, get busy! There\u2019s no time like the present.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Try to remember what your friends share with you about their lives. Remember birthdays, favorite foods or places to go, important anniversaries, etc. Send a text or a card to say that you remember this or that and that you\u2019re thinking of them.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n
There are countless ways to outdo someone in showing honor and countless ways to go first in friendship. The point is to be the kind of friend you hope to gain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Reflection Questions:<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n\n- Why is the church a great place to find friends?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- What do you think about the challenge of being vulnerable with others?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Do you struggle to assume the best of others? Why or why not?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- What are practical ways that you can go first in loving your friends?<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n
<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n4 Don\u2019t Fear Your Friends<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
This section may seem random given that this guide is all about gaining godly friendships, but trust me, this is one of the most important things I can encourage you with on the topic. If you picked up this guide hoping to gain friends, especially if you don\u2019t have many right now, please pay close attention. Friends can\u2019t fix you. Whatever is broken in your life, however you are currently struggling, or whatever loneliness you\u2019re experiencing, friends cannot ultimately fix you. Sure, they can help. In fact, they can be a deeply encouraging feature in life\u2014especially a life ridden with difficulty. They can be ministers of God to you, but they can\u2019t be your god. Therefore, you must resist the temptation to make your friends idols to whom you worship and fear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Only Fear God<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\nSolomon writes to his sons, \u201cThe fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is safe\u201d (Prov. 29:25). A snare is a contraption that is laid in the woods under ground cover to catch an unassuming animal by the foot as it passes by. The analogy indicates that the fear of man is subtle. Unlike other sins, which show themselves more outrightly, the fear of man is not always obvious to us. In fact, I would argue that the fear of man ruins way more friendships than anyone realizes. Few see it coming or know what happened after the fact.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Your ultimate affection and trust are not meant to be set on your friends. Instead, you should trust the LORD. Why? Because Solomon says he is safe. All that brokenness and hurt you carry, all those sins that entangle, all the loneliness that you feel. Friends can help, but only God can heal. Friends can serve, but only God can save. Friends can encourage, but only God can bring an end to your trouble.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Friendships are safer when you fear and trust in God rather than in man, not accepting you, or loving you, or caring for you, or completing you. Don\u2019t fear man. Trust God.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You Can\u2019t Love Those Who You Fear<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\nI recently had a bout with the fear of man\u2014specifically with the fear of not being accepted or respected. This is a reoccurring challenge and a besetting sin for me. I reached out to a friend and counselor, and he said what I already knew, but found so helpful in the moment: \u201cYou can\u2019t love people if you fear them. If you fear them, you\u2019ll only be able to manipulate them for your own gain.\u201d How true my brother\u2019s wisdom is.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Here\u2019s how the math works out. If you fear not receiving something from your friends, you will inevitably spend your time and energy trying to get from them rather than giving to them. Even words and actions that look like service will be done in the name of receiving something in return for yourself. What do we call an action that is done in order to evoke a specific response for personal gain? We call that manipulation. When you fear your friends, you\u2019ll manipulate them in order to get what you think you need from them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But when you fear only God, you\u2019re free to love and serve your friends, knowing that your ultimate gain is in Christ, not in man. If you struggle with the fear of man, you may consider being vulnerable with your friends and confessing it to them. Say something like, \u201cHey brother (or sister), I need to confess that lately I have been fearing what you think of me more than what God thinks. My words and actions toward you have been mostly born out of self-interest, and as a result, I have failed to serve you out of a love for God and you. Please forgive me for this and pray that God will help me overcome this fear for the sake of his glory and for the sake of our friendship.\u201d A confession like this may be what you need to start to fear man less, so that you may love them more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The fear of man is toxic to your friendships, but you (and your friendships) are safe when you fear God and love others. So, as you work to apply the principles of this guide for the purpose of gaining friends, just keep the goodness of friendships in perspective. They are worth a lot, but they aren\u2019t ultimate. Only God can be everything for you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Reflection Questions:<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n\n- Have you ever feared your friends? How did that play out?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Why should we only fear God?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- What does fearing man have to do with loving and serving them?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- What kinds of ways might we inappropriately fear our friends?<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n
Conclusion<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Remember my elementary school friend, Neil? I still think about him sometimes. Here\u2019s what I didn\u2019t tell you from the jump\u2014he was probably right not to want to be my friend anymore. The reality is that I wasn\u2019t a very good friend to him. I didn\u2019t seek to love and serve him. Instead, I feared what he thought of me. As a result, I created drama in our friendship that eventually proved too much for him, and he signed off. I was a bad friend.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
By God\u2019s grace, I\u2019ve grown a lot since my elementary school days. I am still an imperfect (and sometimes bad) friend. But I aspire to be a better one by applying the same principles I\u2019ve shared with you in this life skills guide. Learning how to be a better friend<\/em> has become a lifelong pursuit for me, and I pray that not only would I grow to be a better friend, but you would also. I also pray that the Lord will richly provide you with many godly friendships to encourage you along your way, and that He would continue to shape us into the friends He desires us to be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n\n\n\n[i]. This may seem like a contradiction, but it is important to note that there are rare exceptions when you may not be able to be a loyal friend because loyalty would put you or your friend in danger of some kind. While loyalty is a value we should hold to, it isn\u2019t the only <\/em>value. To know whether or not your loyalty to someone else has reached its end, seek counsel from one of your pastors or a trustworthy mentor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n[ii]. https:\/\/www.capitolhillbaptist.org\/about-us\/what-we-believe\/church-covenant\/<\/p>\n\n\n\n
About the Author<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Taylor Hartley serves as the editorial director at 9Marks<\/em> in Washington, D.C. He is married to his wife, Rachel, and together they have one son, Bode. Taylor earned his M.Div. from Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and is currently working on his Th.M. at London Seminary in the UK.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"1 What Is a Bad Friend? The number of attributes that could be employed to describe a bad friend are many. We will limit ourselves to three: selfish, foolish, and angry. At the root of each of these is pride. When you look at bad friendship patterns\u2014whether in life, literature, or even friendship in the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":5738,"template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":true},"class_list":["post-3400","field_guides","type-field_guides","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n
Finding Godly Friends: A Biblical Guide to True Friendship - The Mentoring Project<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Identify and build deep, Christ-centered friendships. 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