#38 Difference Between Envy and Jealousy: Transforming Bitterness into Faith
Introduction
It’s easy to look at someone else’s life and feel like we’re missing out. Maybe they have a better job, a nicer house, or a seemingly perfect family. Before we know it, envy and jealousy come in, robbing us of our peace and confidence. The Bible reminds us that jealousy is burdensome. Instead of stressing over what is out of reach, God reminds us to appreciate what we possess and have faith that He has a purpose for us.
But instead of dwelling on what we lack, God calls us to appreciate what we have and trust that He has a purpose for us. Jealousy doesn’t just harm us—it affects our relationships, breeds resentment, and pulls us further from God. The good news? We don’t have to stay trapped in comparison. By shifting our focus to gratitude and faith, we open ourselves to joy, peace, and true contentment. Through God’s grace, we can break free from envy and find fulfillment in His plan for our lives.
Audio Guide
Audio#38 Difference Between Envy and Jealousy: Transforming Bitterness into Faith
Part 1: Understanding Jealousy and Envy
Key Scripture: Proverbs 14:30
“A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.”
What Are Jealousy and Envy?
Feelings of jealousy and envy can weigh us down in unexpected ways. Imagine a friend landing the very job you’ve always dreamed of—rather than feeling happy for them, you find yourself consumed by jealousy. Or think about the times you’ve scrolled through social media, only to feel envious of people whose lives seem more exciting than yours.
But what exactly are emotions like envy and jealousy? Are they the same, or do they carry different meanings?
What does envy mean? Envy refers to wanting something that another person already has, such as success, relationships, talents, or possessions. It creates bitterness and resentment towards what God has given us. Envy does not allow us to celebrate others’ achievements but instead pits us against one another in a toxic competition, making us feel like we are missing out. This is why envy rots the bones, as it consumes us with negativity, leaving us spiritually unhealthy.
What does jealousy mean? Jealousy, on the other hand, involves a fear of losing something you already have, whether it’s a relationship, achievement, or status. When jealousy takes over, it often stems from insecurity, and it creates possessiveness and distrust. In other words, jealousy is marked by fear—fear of losing what is precious to you.
The difference between envy and jealousy is that envy is about wanting something someone else has, whereas jealousyis about fearing the loss of what you already possess. These feelings may overlap at times, but they stem from different emotions—envy from a lack of contentment, and jealousy from a lack of trust.
Envious vs Jealous
Both envy and jealousy are alarming emotions because they divert our attention away from God’s purpose for our lives. They lead to a comparison game, causing us to focus on what we do not have instead of what we’ve been blessed with. This discontentment robs us of peace, joy, and spiritual fulfillment.
When we are consumed by envy and jealousy, we live in a state of unrest, constantly comparing ourselves to others or fearing loss. Envious vs jealous behavior creates distance from God’s love and plan. But God calls us to live differently, rooted in trust, love, and gratitude rather than fear and comparison.
The Bible on Jealousy and Envy
Proverbs 14:30 reminds us: “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.” The Bible clearly teaches us that envy and jealousy have destructive effects, not only on our thoughts and emotions but also on our relationships and spiritual well-being. Living with peace, gratitude, and trust in God is the remedy.
By learning to recognize and combat these emotions with a heart rooted in Christ, we can avoid the trap of comparison and live in the freedom God offers.
Jealousy: Losing What We Possess
Jealousy is accompanied by anxiety, low self-confidence, and possessiveness. It occurs when anything becomes an emotional threat, which could stem from a social circle, a romantic relationship, or even a workplace setting. Let’s consider a scenario where your friends begin socializing with new people, and you start to feel that emotional discomfort. The difference between envy and jealousy here is clear—jealousy often arises when there’s a fear of losing something we already have, whereas envy is the desire for something someone else has.
This feeling also applies to coworkers who feel jealous of seeing their colleagues praised by their boss. These feelings stem from the very essence of fearing loss and worth. So, how to stop being jealous? First, we must recognize that jealousy often comes from insecurity, and it’s essential to deal with it by focusing on our own growth and self-worth rather than comparing ourselves to others.
When we do not work on our jealousy and resentment, it can lead to our downfall, as in the case of Saul in 1 Samuel 18:6-9. Saul, the King of Israel, became jealous of David’s victories and praise, which eventually led to his downfall. His jealousy consumed him and clouded his judgment.
How to deal with jealousy? By allowing God to reshape our hearts, we can replace jealousy with peace. God wants us to believe that rather than fearing what we may lose, we should be willing to let go and trust that He has everything under control. Our worth is not linked to our possessions but to Him.
Envy: Desiring What Others Possess
While jealousy arises from fear, envy stems from comparison. We experience it when we observe someone else’s life, and we feel as if we don’t have something that we should. “Why didn’t I get the job that they did?”, “Why can’t I have a perfect family like theirs?” or “Why do they have to be happier than me all the time?”
Envy makes us believe that someone else’s potential success will rob us of our happiness. Rather than appreciating our own situations, we tend to shift our attention to the numerous things we don’t have, which ultimately leads to misery. This is where the difference between envy and jealousy comes in—envy focuses on a desire to have something someone else has, while jealousy is about the fear of losing what we already possess.
The Bible verses about envy warn us about the destructive effects of envy. James 3:16 states, “For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.” Envy leads to resentment, bitterness, and, at times, the worst consequences.
In Genesis 4:3-8, Cain is jealous of Abel, his brother, because God accepted Abel’s offering but rejected his. Instead of examining his own actions, Cain allowed his jealousy to transform into anger, which ultimately led to him murdering Abel. This story highlights the dangers of envy and jealousy when left unchecked.
That’s the problem with envy; if we allow ourselves to be consumed by it, we risk missing out on God’s blessings in our lives because we are too preoccupied with other people’s attributes.
Is envy a sin? The Bible clearly warns us about the dangers of envy. In Galatians 5:19-21, Paul lists envy as part of the sinful nature, alongside other destructive behaviors. Envy leads to bitterness and dissatisfaction with what God has provided for us. In James 3:16, it says, “For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.” This shows that envy can open the door to many other sinful actions. The Bible calls us to resist envy by cultivating a heart of gratitude and contentment, trusting that God has a perfect plan for each of us. So, while envy itself is a sin, we are encouraged to seek peace and joy in God’s blessings, rather than looking at what others have.
The Bible verses about jealousy emphasize the destructive power of jealousy and its potential to harm relationships. In Galatians 5:19-21, Paul lists jealousy as one of the acts of the sinful nature, stating, “The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity, and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy…” This highlights how jealousy can cause division and strife. Furthermore, in Proverbs 27:4, it states, “Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy?” This verse warns us that jealousy can escalate emotions and lead to harmful actions. The Bible teaches that jealousy, when unchecked, can lead to destructive outcomes, just as we see in the story of King Saul, whose jealousy of David led him to attempt to harm him.
Is jealousy a sin? The Bible addresses jealousy as a negative emotion that can lead to harmful consequences. In James 3:16, it states, “For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.” Jealousy, much like envy, can stir up conflict, bitterness, and division. It can distort our view of others, causing us to feel insecure or threatened by their success or relationships. The Bible encourages us to overcome jealousy and replace it with love, patience, and trust in God’s plan. So, while jealousy itself may not always be considered sin, it can easily lead us into sinful actions if left unchecked.
God’s Approach To Envy and Jealousy
Is there a solution for jealousy and envy? The Bible provides clear guidance: trust in God and practice gratitude and contentment.
Philippians 4:11-12 says, “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.” This teaches us that we do not need to chase after everything we want but instead be grateful for what God has already given us.
When we are thankful for what we have, envy loses its power over us. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 reminds us, “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” Practicing gratitude shifts our focus from what we don’t have to the positive aspects of life.
We can also become envious and jealous when we doubt God’s plan for us. But Jeremiah 29:11 assures us, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” When we trust Him, we begin to focus less on what others have and more on what He has in store for us.
How These Emotions Affect Relationships and Spiritual Growth
Jealousy and envy are two emotions that can sneak in unnoticed and, if ignored, can prove to be highly damaging to one’s friendships, family relations, and even spiritual relationships. They can begin as something small, and if left untreated, these emotions can fester into something deeper, potentially ruining one’s mental state.
Most of us do not talk about jealousy in a relationship or envy in friendships because we don’t want to bring our insecurities to light. However, the Bible on jealousy and envy suggests that these potent emotions are harbingers of destruction. They can distort one’s frame of mind from depression and resentment to anger and self-isolation. Furthermore, instead of believing in God’s great plan, they create self-doubt and spiritual distress.
How to overcome jealousy in a relationship starts with acknowledging these feelings. Recognizing how jealousy in relationships can damage both the emotional and spiritual health of individuals is the first step in moving towards healing and peace.
How Jealousy and Envy Ruin Relationships
Relationships only survive with trust, love, and support. Jealousy and envy are their poison, creating rivalry, resentment, and separation. Jealousy can make us compete even with our loved ones. We compete against others instead of celebrating their success. Instead of appreciating the blessings that people have, we feel bitterness about our situation.
In Genesis 37, we see how jealousy in relationships—even between siblings—destroyed a family. Joseph’s brothers became so envious of him that they sold him into slavery. Their jealousy drove them into a state of blindness, forgetting that Joseph was their sibling whom they were supposed to love.
Jealousy in friendship can also be detrimental, leading to misunderstandings and isolation. Jealousy makes people do things they never thought possible—speak hurtful words, take one’s trust for granted, or even keep malice. It blinds a person and, more significantly, makes them focus more on what they do not possess than on what they are grateful to have. Over time, jealousy in a relationship can break the connection instead of strengthening it.
The Impact of Jealousy and Envy on Our Relationship with God
Jealousy and envy can ruin our relationships with people, but they also damage our connection to God. Why is this so? Jealousy in the Bible and envy in the Bible both lead us to doubt God’s greatness.
When we feel jealous or envious, we start wondering:
– Why did God bless them and not me?
– Has God forgotten about me?
– Have I done something that makes me unworthy of His blessings?
This is the ultimate concern that leaves so many of us questioning ourselves at a point in time in our lives. We stop trusting God’s plan, and we compare ourselves with other people. Instead of accepting the reality, we believe that He is unfair. But we need to bear in mind that there is no end to God’s blessings, as the Bible on jealousy mentions many times. When God blesses someone else, it doesn’t mean He is working anywhere else; rather, He has placed you in a part of His plan as well.
In Matthew 20:1-16, Jesus illustrates a parable that describes the tale of the workers and the vineyard. Some laborers begin the work at the early hours of the day, and as the day progresses, new ones step in. In the middle of the day, the owner pays for the working hours. Many of the long-serving workers were dismayed that they had not been sufficiently compensated as they expected, but through the owner’s reasoning, he had fulfilled his obligation.
The moral here is apparent: God’s benevolence is omnipotent. We should simply practice patience, as God always knows what He is doing and puts the pieces in order at the right time.
Combating Jealousy and Envy
The first step is understanding envy and jealousy. The next step, which is much harder, is reframing how we think and turning our attention to God.
Practice Thankfulness
The more we appreciate what we do have, the less we obsess over what we do not possess. Spend a few minutes every day thanking God for all the blessings, big or small.
Support Others
Instead of loathing someone’s success, genuinely congratulate them for their success. When we start supporting other people’s success, jealousy in relationships automatically gets eliminated.
Believe in God’s Sequence of Events
What God has planned for your life is very different from what other people might have planned for theirs. Just because someone is at a higher level in life doesn’t automatically mean you’re at a lower level. Remember that He has amazing plans for you at a time when you least expect it.
Pay Attention to Your Own Improvement
Compare yourself to yourself rather than others. Focus on who God wants you to become. Strengthen your faith, exercise your talents, and find out what work God has set for you.
Pray for a Transformational Heart.
If you are facing a struggle because of envy vs jealousy, speak with God. Ask Him to help you view life from His perspective and bless you with a heart full of satisfaction and calm.
—
Discussion: When Have You Experienced Jealousy and Envy?
- Do you remember a time when jealousy negatively impacted a relationship you had?
- Which aspects of your life and surrounding blessings do you perceive as important, and how did comparison shape those views?
- What actions do you find helpful in defeating jealousy and envy and fully trusting God’s plan for your life?
—
We are all too familiar with feelings of jealousy and envy, but none of those have to control us. When we let those feelings fester, they hurt our relationships, take away our happiness, and diminish our trust in God.
The best part is that God always has a way out for us. Using gratitude and trust while adopting a new perspective allows us to break the chains of comparison and find contentment.
So, whenever you feel jealous or envious, pause for a moment. Let me remind you that God’s heart and plans for you are good, His blessings know no bounds, and most importantly, you are not defined by what others possess.
You are reminded that you do not need to panic because true peace comes from God, and He has provided us with everything we could ask for.
Part 2: Trusting God’s Plan Instead of Comparing
Key Scripture: Philippians 4:11-12
“I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.”
Breaking the Chains of Comparison
We all have that one friend or relative who seems to possess a lifestyle more fulfilling than ours, a career we wished to have at a certain age, a family we dream of having one day, and everything that we have had success in but has not fully materialized yet. The most dangerous thing here is that as we continue to observe their lives, we involuntarily begin to set benchmarks based on theirs, which leads us to the harmful habit of constantly measuring ourselves against others. This is where the difference between envy and jealousy becomes evident—envy often arises when we see others have something we desire, while jealousy can occur when we fear losing something we already possess.
Comparison is something we all struggle with. It creeps in quietly, making us question whether we’re good enough, whether we’re behind, or whether God has forgotten about us. All we need to do is take a peek in front of us and see what God has given us in life and what He still can do. Jealousy in relationships often grows from comparisons, making us anxious about what we might lose or fail to achieve.
God asks us to be patient and embrace trust instead. Believe that the life you are destined toward might be greater than what you have crafted in your wildest dreams or even in comparison to the expectation behind it. How to deal with jealousy is rooted in trust, patience, and contentment, as God has a plan uniquely for us.
Contentment Comes From Trusting God, Not From Having More
A majority of humans tend to believe that after achieving certain life goals, they will be ready to kickstart their lives with utter contentment. Such tick marks range from getting a promotion, landing an ideal partner, or even killing their only dream goal. But once you achieve what you have spent so much blood, sweat, and tears on, aren’t you still left wanting more? The difference between envy and jealousy shows here too. Envy is about desiring what others have, while jealousy often arises when we fear not getting what we believe we deserve.
Contentment is not derived from possessing and ticking off things from your so-called “wish list.” It comes from the already bestowed element of faith in God, who has provided you with all the resources at hand, and all you need to do is let go. Philippians 4:11-12 mentions the concept of being content with everything thrown your way, whether in need or abundance. Now, understand that this statement possesses ultimate value as Paul wasn’t sheltered in his comfortable bubble while pondering on thoughts. He was inside a prison, devoid of freedom, comfort, or security. And yet, he still found contentment in God. What does the Bible say about jealousy? It teaches us to embrace trust, avoid comparisons, and learn contentment from the life of Christ.
This tells us something important: Contentment is not about what we have. With God, everything will work out. However, if that peace lies in their possessions, life status, or self-esteem, they will always be unhappy. But trusting that God is in control means that we can relax and feel at peace no matter the adversity we are facing. When we focus on His timing, jealousy in friendships and jealousy in relationships lose their power because we trust that God’s plan is perfect.
His Timing Is Ideal
We are our biggest obstacles because we keep surrendering by comparing our success to others. While considering the life journey of others who are moving further in life, creating families, starting new jobs, and working toward other goals, we are often left wondering, what is wrong with us? How to stop being jealous is found by embracing God’s timing, understanding that everything unfolds in its perfect season.
Stop right there. You will do all of this and more when it’s your time. The one thing you must always remember is that God will show up when you want, but His time is highly unshakeable. This means you cannot enforce your deadlines and meetings on Him. In the same breath, Solomon reminds you not to mock His plans either in Ecclesiastes 3:1: “There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens.” God must live looking for what lies ahead of him. God never operates in haste. I will repeat that. His plans are never executed in a hurry or late or wrong.
Consider Abraham and Sarah. God promised them a child, but they had to wait years before getting what they wanted. Their journey tested them along the way. They were sometimes tormented with doubts, but in the end, God delivered. Jealousy in a relationship often emerges when we feel like others are moving ahead, but this passage reminds us that God’s promises remain secure, even if we have to wait for them.
The same goes for us. Just like God may be working behind the scenes on something we cannot see right now. He understands what is best. He knows what we need and when we need it. This builds our faith.
Gratitude: The Key to Contentment
Turning our heads away from what needs improvement to what is already present is a wonderful way to get through the troubles of comparison. This is the reason why gratitude exists. Feeling thankful to God for what He has provided is one way of shifting our perspective. Instead of feeling deprived, we start seeing the incredibly blessed situations surrounding us.
1 Thessalonians 5:18 tells us, “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” Keep in mind that it doesn’t mention giving thanks when everything is working in your favor. “In all circumstances” is what it says.
Gratitude is one of those rare concepts which is a choice. It is noticing God’s goodness even if circumstances in life are not its best. strive to understand what is being provided, and comparison starts to lose its relevance.
Having Trust That God’s Plans Are Better Than Ours
We struggle with contentment because we think we know what’s best for us. The reality is nothing compared to what we could think of; God’s plans are unimaginable.
Jeremiah 29:11 does not let us forget, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
It also means that we don’t need to overthink everything. We don’t need to make things happen. We can relax, knowing that there is a God who has a perfect plan for steering us in the right direction. At times, it may seem like it will take longer than expected and require more patience than desired; however, at the end of the day, nothing can comprehensively outmatch the magnificence of God’s plans.
How Comparison Fuels Envy and Damages Faith
Comparison is something we all struggle with, whether we admit it or not. It happens so naturally—sometimes without us even realizing it. We see someone else succeeding, and suddenly, we feel like we’re not enough. We hear about someone else’s blessings, and we start wondering why we don’t have the same.
It starts as a small thought, but if we’re not careful, comparison can take over our hearts. Instead of being grateful for what God has given us, we start focusing on what we lack. Instead of celebrating others, we feel frustrated by their success. And instead of trusting God’s plan for our lives, we start questioning whether He’s really looking out for us.
That’s how comparison fuels envy and damages our faith. It shifts our focus from God’s goodness to our own insecurities. It makes us believe the lie that someone else’s success is a threat to our own. And in the process, it steals our joy, weakens our faith, and keeps us from fully trusting in God’s plan.
But it doesn’t have to be this way. If we recognize how comparison affects us, we can take steps to break free from it.
How Comparison Leads to Envy
Envy is a feeling of resentment towards someone else’s success or blessings. It makes us believe that what they have should belong to us.
It’s one thing to admire someone’s success. It’s another thing to let that admiration turn into jealousy. When we constantly compare ourselves to others, envy starts creeping in.
Instead of being happy for a friend who got a promotion, we feel bitter because we’re still stuck in the same job. Instead of celebrating a family member’s good news, we feel frustrated because we’re still waiting for our breakthrough.
In James 3:16, we’re warned about the dangers of envy: “For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.”
Envy doesn’t just make us unhappy. It leads to negative thoughts, damaged relationships, and even sinful actions. It turns people into rivals instead of friends. It makes us feel like we’re in constant competition with the world around us.
But the truth is, God’s blessings are not limited. Someone else’s success does not take away from what God has planned for us.
How Comparison Weakens Our Faith
One of the biggest dangers of comparison is that it makes us doubt God’s goodness.
When we focus too much on what others have, we stop appreciating what God has already given us. We start thinking:
– Why does God bless them but not me?
– Why is my life not as good as theirs?
– Has God forgotten about me?
This kind of thinking is dangerous because it makes us lose trust in God’s plan. Instead of seeing Him as a loving Father who knows what’s best for us, we start treating Him like someone who is unfairly favoring others.
But the Bible reminds us in Jeremiah 29:11 that God’s plans are good:
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Just because someone else’s blessings have arrived before ours doesn’t mean that God has forgotten about us. His timing is always perfect, even when we don’t understand it.
The Lies That Comparison Tells Us
Comparison is dangerous because it convinces us of lies that aren’t true. It tells us:
– “You’re not good enough.”
– “God must love them more than He loves you.”
– “You’ll never have what they have.”
These lies are designed to destroy our confidence in God’s plan. They make us feel like we have to prove our worth instead of resting in God’s love.
But the truth is, our value isn’t found in what we have—it’s found in who we belong to. We are God’s children, and He has a unique plan for each of us.
When we stop believing the lies of comparison and start trusting God’s promises, we find peace.
How Can Trusting God Bring Peace?
Trusting God means believing that He has a plan for our lives, even when we don’t see it yet. It means choosing to rest in His promises instead of stressing over where we are compared to others.
Here’s how trusting God brings peace:
- It Reminds Us That We Are Not in Control. Comparison makes us feel like we have to compete to get ahead. But when we trust God, we remember that He is the one who opens doors and provides opportunities. We don’t have to fight for blessings—God gives them in His perfect timing.
- It Shifts Our Focus Back to Gratitude. When we focus on what God has already done for us, we stop worrying about what He hasn’t done yet. Gratitude helps us see how blessed we already are.
- It Helps Us Celebrate Others Instead of Compete with Them. When we trust that God has a plan for us, we don’t feel threatened by someone else’s success. We can genuinely celebrate with them, knowing that God has good things in store for us, too.
- It Teaches Us Patience. Sometimes, God delays certain blessings because He knows we’re not ready for them yet. Trusting Him means being patient and believing that He knows exactly when to bring His promises to pass.
Part 3: Replacing Envy with Gratitude
Key Scripture: 1 Thessalonians 5:18
“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
The Power of Gratitude in Overcoming Envy
Envy comes into our lives when we focus more on what others have and not enough on what God has given us. It makes us feel like we are missing out, not good enough, or that God has forgiven us. But just by being grateful, we can change everything.
With gratitude, our focus is easily shifted. Instead of looking for what’s missing in our lives, we must look out for the blessings that are right in front of us. This way, we automatically stop resenting others and learn to appreciate God’s doing.
That’s why 1 Thessalonians 5:18 tells us to “give thanks in all circumstances.” It doesn’t say “give thanks only when your life is better than others.” It says “in all circumstances.” That means even when things do not go our way, we can still choose thankfulness over resentment.
But how to do that when envy comes so naturally? How do we replace jealousy with gratitude?
Why Envy Causes Destruction
Envy does not only make us feel bad, but it has the power to damage our relationships, bring sadness, and weaken our faith.
When envy starts consuming us, we view people as competition instead of fellow believers. It becomes difficult to show happiness for others’ success because deep down you feel like you deserve more. We start resenting them instead of celebrating their success.
And the worst part? Envy hides away all our blessings. Think of this as holding a gift in your hands but not even acknowledging it because you are more focused on what others have. It makes us overlook what God has already given us.
But gratitude changes that. It helps us see all the good things God has already done for us in perfect timing.
Break Through Envy With Gratitude
You cannot keep gratitude and envy in the same heart. When our hearts are filled with thankfulness, envy cannot enter.
When you genuinely value something, it’s difficult to feel envy for others. Thankfulness shows us how great God is, how He always gives us what is necessary, and how we are not neglected.
In James 1:17, it says, “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights.”
Thus, all blessings, regardless of their magnitude, are gifts from God. And if God has chosen to bless other people, it does not mean He has exhausted His blessings for us. His kindness and bounty are endless.
Once we accept and embrace that, we stop perceiving life as a race and experience it as a path filled with unique personal abundance that is carefully tailored for every individual.
Opting for Thankfulness Instead of Resentment
So how do we replace envy with gratitude? You have a choice.
Gratitude goes beyond appreciating something; it is a feeling that we can develop over time and comes with practicing daily exercises. Here are a few ways of having a heart full of thanks:
- Put aside your phone, sleep well, and as you wake up, think about all the wonderful things that are happening in your life. You should start with the little things, such as waking up in the morning and being grateful for the food and even your family and friends.
- Writing things down fulfills the purpose of gratitude: to show people how much they are blessed in life. Note down at least two things every day, and soon enough, you will realize how blessed you are.
- Whenever someone comes along and receives a certain blessing or gift, do not become envious of them in any way. Instead, join in the fun and celebrate with them, reminding yourself that the goodness they have received is not something that hinders your blessings.
- While dwelling over the things you don’t have, practice the opposite and thank God for the things you truly possess. Out of everything that comes out of your mouth, the best would be gratitude. The more you do so, the more your heart will believe it.
- Sometimes, we end up feeling a bit green inside and think God has neglected us. But that is not true – all we need to have is faith in saying that I am going to receive all of our blessings at the best time.
Achieve True Peace With Gratitude
By picking gratitude over envy, amazing things happen in our lives. We find peace.
No more stressing about why someone else has something we don’t. No more feeling like we’re behind. No more questioning if God is being unfair.
Instead, we can peacefully rest in His greatness and learn to enjoy what we have instead of chasing what we don’t.
Philippians 4:6-7 says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Notice how it says “with thanksgiving.” Gratitude is the key to peace. When we focus on thanking God, our worries and comparisons vanish.
Practical Ways to Cultivate Gratitude
Being Grateful does not come naturally. Sometimes, you feel thankful when everything is going well and when your prayers are being answered. But there are days when everything seems to be going wrong, and you feel like you are falling behind. Also, envy starts creeping in, but that is where gratitude saves the day.
Saying “thank you” for the things you have is not the only way to show gratitude. It is bigger than that – it is a mindset that helps you see the world from a different perspective without letting it shift your focus. It helps us acknowledge the things God has already blessed us with.
Good news! Gratitude is a skill that can be learned and developed regardless of which stage of life you are in. Here’s how to be grateful daily:
Gratitude to Frame Your Day
The first and last activities done each day influence one’s point of view. If, for instance, logging on to social media is checked first thing when one wakes up, there is a very high probability of feeling discouraged for the rest of the day.
Instead, we should practice appreciation ardently because it can help motivate us for the rest of the day. While still lying on the bed, thank God for giving you yet another day full of opportunities and life, and recognize them for all the people you enjoy being around.
Take time to reflect, no matter how overwhelming the day might have been, and find at least one incredible thing to be grateful for. There is always something good, such as the lesson learned, acts of kindness, or just the mere fact that God stood by you for the entire day.
1 Thessalonians 5:18 reminds us, “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” Gratitude isn’t about perfect circumstances. It’s about recognizing God’s goodness, no matter what.
Start a Gratitude Journal
Recording our thoughts makes them tangible. A gratitude journal is specifically designed to appreciate our blessings, great and small.
Every day, list three things you are grateful for. The things you appreciate do not have to be monumental. Pat yourself on the back because even small victories matter. Like an amazing boost in the form of warm coffee, hearing from a friend, laughing over the weekend, and so on.
During tough times, remind yourself of God’s goodness. Out of faith, remember His graciousness by going over your journal. You will be amazed how re-reading his sufficiency’s can help recenter you.
Talk About Gratitude
The words we use have great importance. When you keep complaining, you show your heart where to look. Making a habit of appreciating things, however, transforms your viewpoint.
This might help: ‘I must go to work’ becomes…’I’m grateful I have a job.’ ‘From carrying around my children, I’m feeling drained’ changes to ‘I’m blessed to have a family. “It’s important to note that appreciation does not mean you look through the faults your world does not offer. It means actively aiming for something positive amidst the challenges life throws your way.
Proverbs 18:21 says, “The tongue has the power of life and death.” The words we speak shape how we see the world. Choose words that bring life.
Show Appreciation Toward Others
Gratitude is not only something we feel; it is also something we express. When was the last time you appreciated someone and told them? A simple “thank you” can uplift someone’s spirits and make relationships even better.
You can send a text message, leave a note, or even tell an acquaintance, relative, or colleague whom you appreciate and wish to say thanks. The more we express gratitude, the more we appreciate how much we actually have.
Hebrews 10:24 says, “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” Gratitude has the power to encourage, uplift, and bring people closer together.
Refocus When Encountering Comparisons
Comparison is one of the worst enemies of gratitude. When we pay attention to what people have, we forget everything we are grateful for.
The next time you find yourself comparing, pause and think about the following questions:
– What are the things that I have already been blessed with?
– Which things am I thankful for at this moment?
– In what ways has God been there for me before?
You’re doing great. Don’t forget that your blessings are never limited. Someone else’s triumph does not equal less for you. A well-crafted plan is designed for each of us, and gratitude is one of the many tools that enables you to be confident that His plans are always good.
Worship in Place of Worry
Unquestionably, when we feel anxious or blue, the first option most of us drill into our heads is problem-solving. Why not switch things up a bit and turn those moments into something much more engaging and positive, like gratitude?
Expressing gratitude instead of caring about what’s wrong goes a long way. Focus on thankfulness for everything that’s going right at the moment. Instead of worrying about the future, His faithfulness in the past is a splendid option for which to be grateful.
Philippians 4:6-7 says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Being thankful can be considered a powerful form of worship. Thanking God while going through difficult times means you’re recognizing that He is above your struggles.
Spend Time With People Who Appreciate You
Mindsets can spread like a disease. If we engage with chronic complainers and ‘something is always wrong’ focused people, we tend to develop a negative pattern of thinking that follows along that same line.
This is where spending time with the grateful can save us—people who have made it their life mission to appreciate God’s goodness. Chosen positivity inspires faith, and their joy reminds us of all the good that’s happening in our lives.
“Walk with the wise and become wise” (Proverbs 13:20) suggests that one should choose their friends wisely, and pouring gratitude onto those people who inspire you is a great first step.
But, more importantly, become that person to others by being positive and filling gratitude into their lives.
—
Discussion: What blessings can you appreciate today?
- List three things you appreciate right now.
- What are ways God has taken care of you in the past?
- Who around you deserves a thank you today?
—
Gratitude is a choice. It is not just the feeling of being thankful; it is being thankful every day, focusing on what is on hand rather than what is missing.
The more we practice gratitude, the clearer God’s presence becomes in every facet of our lives. We are no longer concerned about comparisons, which results in joy and peace.
So, today, take a moment. Pause. Breathe. Look around. See the blessings that are already in your life. And thank God for them. When gratitude becomes a habit, our hearts are forever changed.
Part 4: Loving Others without Jealousy
Key Scripture: Romans 12:15
“Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.”
Why Jealousy Makes It Hard to Love Others
Jealousy is harmful. It not only makes us miserable but also negatively affects the bonds we have with others.
Once we allow jealousy to take over, we begin viewing other people as enemies and not friends. We shift our attention to what they possess rather than what has been graciously provided to us. This negative feeling can greatly impact our mental state, in which it can lead to further hatred, anger and sometimes even loneliness.
Consider this: Have you avoided interacting with someone just because you felt jealous creeping in? Maybe their achievements motivated them, leading the other people around them to pull away rather than celebrate.
That is what jealousy does: It fosters separation that should not exist. It separates people instead of uniting them, causing walls to be built instead. Celebrations allow us to come together and create bonds, beating out any causes for competition. Love does not compete; it celebrates.
The Power of Rejoicing With Others
When we learn to celebrate others, it is this celebration that helps us break free from all chains of jealousy.
When we learn to view life as a blessing, we realize all of God’s gifts are carefully woven into the fabric of life. Instead of feeling threatened, we are able to celebrate others’ achievements for what they truly are: absolutely remarkable gifts from God.
The goodness of God should not be viewed as a competitive game where winning and losing choices are made. It is rather a continuous journey where there’s no stopping and waiting in lines for your slice of pie. He pours his gifts over, throughout, and around us. Just like snow on a cold day.
When there is a belief in God, with these loops of blessings, the only thing left to do is accept the reality of endless favors from God.
May these goals inspire self-love and acceptance, devoid of thoughts about ‘better.’
How to Care For People Without Feeling Envy
Envy is not a thing one can overcome in a single day. One has to choose it every single day. Luckily, we can ask God for help. He can aid us in building a heart that supports others. Try these tips to get started:
– Prayer Changes You
You have the full right to feel envy. But shovel aside the problems that came with it. You can always ask God to make your life even better. With every single prayer you utter, bless their joy, their success, and anything meaningful. When you turn your eyes to that person and pray for them, envy will turn to love. The world is beginning to change. Pray for those you envy, take an alternative approach, and feel the difference.
– Place God Above Everything Else
You should rest assured that every person has a dreadful and cruel side to them. Never feel bad imagining that Person A has something you desire and every other person in your circle is assisting that one person. Everyone’s life is doomed to physical death, and everyone had bad thoughts.
– Shifting Focus Changes Everything
We as humans are provided much, but not all our wants. We are blessed beyond what we deserve. If we focus on thanking God for the smallest things in our lives, envy and jealously doesn’t even creep into our thoughts. Be deliberate in promoting someone’s good efforts.
Next time when someone shares good news, ensure you support them. Cheer with them, give them good wishes, or even do something to show appreciation. The more you practice celebrating others, the easier it gets.
– Hope that there are better things ahead for you
Occasionally, jealousy may stem from the fact that you are worried you will never get the gifts that you wish. But God has a designed plan for you. He is aware of what you’re looking for and is working on it in ways you cannot see right now.
Jesus: The Perfect Embodiment of Selflessness
The perfect, holy, and worthy Jesus probably did not feel jealousy, but we are not perfect like Jesus. We will certainly feel jealous at some point. Instead, Jesus decided to serve other people rather than seek His glory. Serving others removes jealousy and envy from our hearts.
In the bible, Paul says in Philippians 2:3-4, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, value others above yourself, not looking to your own interests, but each of you to the interests of the other’s.”
Recognizing Jesus didn’t serve a purpose for Him. Instead, He poured out love since He solely came to serve, not be served. We, too, must have the same mindset if we want to pursue Him.
Loving everyone is putting humility over jealousy. It means that we should be happy for others and trust God that our blessings will come in His time, not ours.
How Love and Humility Overcome Envy
Envy is perhaps one of the hardest feelings to confess. It enters our lives so silently that we don’t notice it until we have been fully consumed. It rears its head when someone else gets the shot we were hoping for, when a friend’s life seems devoid of hassle, or when we feel like we are being forgotten.
At its most basic level, envy is not purely wanting what someone else has. It is coupled with the feeling that we are less. It convinces us that if one individual is winning the race, then we are losing. It forces us to concentrate on what we do not possess rather than appreciating what has been provided to us.
But here is the truth: love and humility will always counter envy. In humility, we are issued a reminder that everything we possess is a gift from God. It is not something we mollycoddle or feel like we deserve more than everyone else. With love, we stop perceiving individuals as competitors. Instead, we understand they are people praised with God’s blessings.
Love Celebrates, Envy Competes
Jealousy and love cannot coexist in the same heart. Envy competes where love celebrates.
Reflect on a situation where you were absolutely happy for someone and celebrated without a hint of jealousy. Perhaps your friend got a new position, and you were excited for them, or maybe a sibling got married, or someone achieved a major life milestone. That feeling of joy is liberating, isn’t it?
Now, think of a situation where jealousy began to creep in. Instead of celebrating, you began comparing yourself, and instead of being happy for them, you wondered why you weren’t in their shoes. Rather than feeling calm, you felt agitated. That weight is exhausting, isn’t it?
Crucially, envy diminishes joy. It takes love and replaces it with resentment, with no regard for the consequences, no matter how dire. However, when we genuinely love people, we don’t view their achievements as competition— we view them as celebration.
That’s why 1 Corinthians 13:4 says, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.”
Real love is free from comparison. It doesn’t ask, “Why not me?” It asks, “How can I celebrate them?”
Humility Reminds Us That Everything Is a Gift
One of the biggest lies envy tells us is that we deserve more. It convinces us that someone else got something we should have received, that life isn’t fair, or that God is blessing others while ignoring us.
But humility reminds us of the truth: everything we have is a gift from God.
James 1:17 says, “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights.”
When we embrace humility, we stop feeling entitled to blessings and start being grateful for what we already have. We recognize that God doesn’t owe us anything, yet He continues to pour out His goodness on us every day.
That shift in perspective changes everything. Instead of envying others, we start thanking God for them. Instead of resenting their success, we start seeing it as proof that He is working in people’s lives. Instead of questioning why God hasn’t given us something yet, we start trusting that His timing is perfect.
Humility teaches us that life is not a competition but a journey where we all have different paths, different seasons, and different blessings.
Love and Humility Help Us Genuinely Support Others
Supporting others isn’t just about saying the right things—it’s about having the right heart. It’s about truly wanting the best for them, even when their blessings come before ours.
When we replace envy with love and humility, our perspective shifts:
– Instead of feeling insecure about someone else’s success, we feel inspired by it.
– Instead of pulling away from them, we move closer.
– Instead of secretly hoping they fail, we cheer them on.
This kind of support is powerful. It strengthens friendships. It deepens our faith. And it frees us from the weight of comparison.
In Romans 12:10, we’re reminded, “Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.”
That’s what true love looks like—celebrating others, putting them first, and recognizing that their success does not take away from our own.
How to Overcome Envy Through Love and Humility
Breaking free from envy doesn’t happen overnight. It takes intentional choices, daily reminders, and a heart that’s willing to be transformed by God.
Here are some practical ways to cultivate love and humility:
- Pray for the People You Struggle to Celebrate. It’s hard to envy someone you’re genuinely praying for. Ask God to bless them even more. Ask Him to give you a heart that truly rejoices with them.
- Practice Gratitude Daily. The more you thank God for what you have, the less you’ll focus on what you don’t. Gratitude replaces resentment with appreciation.
- Speak Words of Encouragement. Instead of staying silent when someone succeeds, speak up. Tell them you’re happy for them. Celebrate them. Let your words reflect the love of Christ.
- Remind Yourself That God’s Plan Is Unique for Everyone. Just because someone else is being blessed right now doesn’t mean you’ve been forgotten. God’s plan for your life is different—but it is good.
- Remember That True Success Is Found in Christ, Not Achievements. At the end of the day, the things we envy are temporary. But what about our relationship with God? That’s eternal. Keep your eyes on what truly matters.
—
Discussion: How Can You Genuinely Support Others?
- Have you ever found it hard to celebrate someone else’s success? What emotions did you feel?
- How does love help you overcome comparison?
- What are some ways you can show support to a friend, family member, or coworker this week?
- How does trusting God’s plan help you stop feeling envious of others?
—
Final Thoughts
Envy tries to tell us that life is a competition and that there’s not enough room for all of us to be blessed. But love and humility tell us a different story—one where we lift each other instead of comparing, where we celebrate instead of competing, where we trust instead of
doubt. Understanding the difference between envy and jealousy helps us recognize that while envy makes us desire what others have, jealousy stems from a fear of losing what we already possess.
When we love others the way God calls us to, jealousy loses its power. When we embrace humility, we stop feeling entitled and start feeling grateful. Instead of focusing on what we lack, we recognize the blessings already present in our lives. Recognizing the difference between envy and jealousy allows us to approach our emotions from a place of faith and contentment rather than insecurity and comparison.
So the next time envy whispers in your ear, choose love instead. Choose to support. Choose to celebrate. Choose to believe that God has good things in store for you, too. The difference between envy and jealousy is not just about what we feel—it’s about how we let these emotions influence our lives. When we choose love and humility, we stop feeling trapped by these emotions and start finding peace in God’s plan.
The difference between envy and jealousy also helps us realize that these emotions are not just destructive in our relationships with others, but they also cloud our connection with God. Instead of allowing jealousy to turn us inward and isolate us, we can choose to focus on the abundance of blessings God has given us. By understanding the difference between envy and jealousy, we can align ourselves with God’s peace and trust His timing.
Because in the end, love and humility don’t just change the way we see others—they change the way we see ourselves and God’s goodness in our lives. The difference between envy and jealousy is clear: one divides, and the other brings us closer to God’s plan for us. When we embrace the difference between envy and jealousy, we stop comparing ourselves to others and start living fully in the light of God’s love.
About the Author
The Christian Lingua Team is the world’s largest Christian translation agency offering translation and overdub services for video, audio, and media projects worldwide.
Table of Contents
- Part 1: Understanding Jealousy and Envy
- Key Scripture: Proverbs 14:30
- What Are Jealousy and Envy?
- Envious vs Jealous
- The Bible on Jealousy and Envy
- Jealousy: Losing What We Possess
- Envy: Desiring What Others Possess
- God’s Approach To Envy and Jealousy
- How These Emotions Affect Relationships and Spiritual Growth
- How Jealousy and Envy Ruin Relationships
- The Impact of Jealousy and Envy on Our Relationship with God
- Combating Jealousy and Envy
- Discussion: When Have You Experienced Jealousy and Envy?
- Part 2: Trusting God’s Plan Instead of Comparing
- Key Scripture: Philippians 4:11-12
- Breaking the Chains of Comparison
- Contentment Comes From Trusting God, Not From Having More
- His Timing Is Ideal
- Gratitude: The Key to Contentment
- Having Trust That God’s Plans Are Better Than Ours
- How Comparison Fuels Envy and Damages Faith
- How Comparison Leads to Envy
- How Comparison Weakens Our Faith
- The Lies That Comparison Tells Us
- How Can Trusting God Bring Peace?
- Part 3: Replacing Envy with Gratitude
- Key Scripture: 1 Thessalonians 5:18
- The Power of Gratitude in Overcoming Envy
- Why Envy Causes Destruction
- Break Through Envy With Gratitude
- Opting for Thankfulness Instead of Resentment
- Achieve True Peace With Gratitude
- Practical Ways to Cultivate Gratitude
- Gratitude to Frame Your Day
- Start a Gratitude Journal
- Talk About Gratitude
- Show Appreciation Toward Others
- Refocus When Encountering Comparisons
- Worship in Place of Worry
- Spend Time With People Who Appreciate You
- Discussion: What blessings can you appreciate today?
- Part 4: Loving Others without Jealousy
- Key Scripture: Romans 12:15
- Why Jealousy Makes It Hard to Love Others
- The Power of Rejoicing With Others
- How to Care For People Without Feeling Envy
- – Prayer Changes You
- – Place God Above Everything Else
- – Shifting Focus Changes Everything
- – Hope that there are better things ahead for you
- Jesus: The Perfect Embodiment of Selflessness
- How Love and Humility Overcome Envy
- Love Celebrates, Envy Competes
- Humility Reminds Us That Everything Is a Gift
- Love and Humility Help Us Genuinely Support Others
- How to Overcome Envy Through Love and Humility
- Discussion: How Can You Genuinely Support Others?
- Final Thoughts
- About the Author