#102 Digitalisation: Breaking Free from Screen Addiction

Part 1: Designed to Addict—Why We Can’t Look Away

The engineering of captivity

Your phone buzzes. Before you even think about it, your hand reaches for your phone to check a notification, a like, a message, or a headline. Within seconds, you’re scrolling, and five minutes later, you wonder how you got here. You weren’t planning on checking Instagram. You didn’t mean to fall down a YouTube rabbit hole. This reflex is the seed of phone addiction.

Here’s the thing: it didn’t just happen. It was designed to happen.

The apps you use, the platforms you visit, and even the videos that autoplay are all carefully engineered to create digital addiction. Every feature has been designed by some of the brightest minds in digital technology, armed with billions of dollars in research, for one singular purpose: to capture and keep your attention as long as possible. The longer you stay, the more ads you see. The more you engage, the more data they collect. Your attention has become the most valuable commodity in the modern economy, and these companies have built empires by taking it from you.

Philosopher Matthew Crawford describes our modern world as an “ecology of attention,” an environment deliberately designed to hijack every perceptual trigger we have.3 We’re not simply choosing to spend time on our devices but walking into carefully constructed traps, baited with digital dopamine hits and engineered to keep us coming back.

Consider the mechanics of digital addiction. Infinite scroll means there’s never a natural stopping point. Autoplay ensures the next video starts before you can decide whether you want to watch it. Notifications are timed to interrupt you at optimal moments, creating endless digital distractions. Even the colors on your app icons, those bright reds and oranges, trigger urgency and excitement in your brain.

This isn’t a fair fight. You’re up against a system built to exploit the way God designed your brain to work.

The dopamine economy

At the heart of screen time struggles and digital addiction is a simple neurological reality. Your brain craves dopamine. Dopamine is the neurotransmitter associated with reward, pleasure, and motivation. God designed our brains to experience pleasure and reward because He created us to find our deepest satisfaction in Him. This dopamine system should draw us toward what truly delights God and fulfills us, knowing Him, loving others in community, and experiencing the joy of meaningful work done for His glory.

Tech companies have learned to weaponize this, creating a cycle of digital dopamine. Every time you get a like on social media, your brain releases a small hit of dopamine. Every time you see a new notification, open a fresh app, or discover something surprising in your feed, dopamine is released. The problem is that these rewards come at unpredictable intervals, which is precisely the pattern that creates the strongest digital dependence.

Psychologists call it “intermittent reinforcement,” and it’s the same mechanism that makes slot machines so addictive. You never know when the next reward is coming, so you keep pulling the lever. Or in this case, keep swiping, scrolling, and refreshing. Your phone has become a pocket casino. The stakes aren’t money but your time, your digital attention, your peace of mind, and ultimately, your walk with God.

I have an addictive personality. Most of my life, I’ve been an athlete, head coach, and very competitive. This competitive side led to a terrible gambling addiction (see Field Guide #45 Gambling: The Hidden Costs for more information). Social media addiction is similar in many ways. Much of the content is funny, making you laugh, cry, and want more. There’s the draw to watch one more reel, one more short, complete one more task, and our phones are always just inches away. I had become a digital addict. The way my brain works is I think something like, this video is less than 20 seconds, so I won’t waste too much time, and before I know it, two hours have gone by. I convince myself I can multitask and get things done while scrolling and watching videos, but the truth is, I’m not nearly as good at multitasking as I think I am.

But behind every hit of dopamine lies a deeper hunger—not just for pleasure, but for meaning.

What are we really seeking?

Here’s the uncomfortable truth. We don’t reach for our phones primarily because we need information. We reach for them because we need something deeper. We reach to satisfy a digital dependence we often refuse to acknowledge.

Maybe it’s validation. Social media addiction thrives on a steady stream of affirmation through likes, comments, and shares. Every notification whispers, “You matter.” “People see you.” “You’re important.”

The comparison trap intensifies this. You scroll through feeds filled with perfect families, flawless bodies, and highlight reels that make everyone else’s life look effortlessly amazing. You start believing you need to measure up to impossible standards. This is the heavy burden carried by digital natives and the wider digital generation alike. If you gain followers, you’re trapped maintaining a facade you can never sustain. You’re chasing validation through a fantasy no one can live up to.

Maybe it’s an escape. We use our devices to drown out the silence, creating layers of digital noise to avoid sitting with our own thoughts.

Maybe it’s control.

Maybe it’s a connection.

Or maybe it’s simply the promise of something. The next video might make you laugh. The next article might answer your question. The next notification might be important. We stay because we’re always chasing that elusive “something better” just one scroll away, hooked on digital dopamine.

Where your treasure is

Track your screen time for a week. Don’t change your behavior but observe it honestly. How many hours a day? What apps consume the most time? Look at your digital habits. Then ask yourself, if this is where I’m spending my life, is this what I treasure?

This is why phone addiction is fundamentally a spiritual issue. It’s not just about time management or self-discipline. It’s about worship. Whatever captures your attention, whatever you give your best hours to, whatever shapes your desires and emotions, becomes what you’re worshiping, whether you realize it or not. In this era of rapid digitalisation, we must be careful not to fall into digital worship, where the created device takes precedence over the Creator.

God created you for Himself. He designed your heart to find its deepest satisfaction in knowing Him, loving Him, and living for His glory. His purpose for you is clear: to be conformed to the image of His Son (Romans 8:29). You were made to grow in Christlikeness, to reflect His character, priorities, and love more each day. But digital distraction hinders this growth. Sin has twisted our desires, leading us to chase substitutes—things that promise to fulfill us but ultimately leave us empty.

Screens and digital technology are just the latest version of an ancient problem of seeking joy and life apart from God. We open a digital Bible app, but get sidetracked by a text. We try to engage in digital prayer, but our minds wander to the news. We watch digital church, but treat it like entertainment. True digital discipleship requires us to fight for our focus.

The good news is that recognizing this pattern is the first step toward freedom. You don’t have to remain a digital addict. The same God who created you with the capacity for deep attention, meaningful work, and rich relationships is ready to restore what’s been fractured. He doesn’t just want to modify your behavior but to redirect your heart toward what will truly satisfy and conform you to the image of Christ.

The question isn’t just how to avoid digital addiction or whether you can stop scrolling. The question is, what will you treasure instead? Perhaps it is time for a season of digital fasting to reset your soul. Until your heart finds something better than the cheap thrills of your phone, you’ll keep going back. Freedom comes when you discover that God offers something infinitely better than anything a screen can provide, leading you to true digital rest and a renewed digital faith.

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Reflection Questions:

  1. When you reach for your phone, what are you typically seeking? Validation? Escape from digital distractions elsewhere? Entertainment? Connection?
  2. Look at your screen time data. What does it reveal about where your treasure really is?
  3. How has constant digital stimulation affected your ability to be still, to pray, or to be present with God and others?

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Part 2: The Hidden Costs—Time, Relationships, and Purpose

What you don’t see at first

No one picks up their phone thinking, I’m about to waste the next three hours of my life.

Digital addiction doesn’t announce itself. It creeps in quietly, masked by convenience and entertainment. The first things you notice are the wins, the funny video that made you laugh, the article that taught you something, and the message from a friend. The last things you notice are the things you’re losing because of these subtle digital distractions. By the time you realize what it’s really costing you, the pattern is already deeply rooted in your digital habits.

The losses aren’t just about hours scrolling but about how those hours could have been otherwise spent. They’re about relationships eroding in real time while you’re staring at a screen. They’re about skills you never develop, books you never read, conversations you never have, and moments with your children that slip away forever.

Paul warns us to walk wisely, “making the best use of the time, because the days are evil” (Ephesians 5:15-16). When Paul uses the word “walk” here, he’s not talking about physical steps but describing your entire way of life, the pattern and direction of how you live each day. Every hour given to mindless scrolling and yielding to digital temptations is an hour you’ll never get back. This section is about seeing those costs clearly, the ones that don’t show up in your screen time report but show up in your life.

The time you’ll never recover

Recently, I asked my high school students—true digital natives—to check their average daily digital screen time from the past week. Many reported spending between eight and twelve hours a day on their phones. I was stunned. Much of it was Netflix or other streaming content, but even so, that’s an enormous portion of every single day—especially during the school year.

Let’s do the math together.

Eight hours a day adds up to fifty-six hours a week, nearly three thousand hours a year. Over a decade, that’s 29,000 hours—more than three years of your life consumed by screens.

Think about that. What could you do with three extra years? You could learn multiple languages, master an instrument, read hundreds of books, or invest deeply in your relationships. You could pursue meaningful work, grow in your walk with Christ, or build something that lasts through faithful digital stewardship.

Instead, most of that time vanishes into an endless stream of content you won’t remember a week later, a symptom of severe digital overuse. The tragedy isn’t just the hours themselves but what those hours could have been—the conversations never had, the skills never developed, the memories never made. Every hour on a screen is an hour not spent on something that actually matters.

The relational damage

Phone addiction doesn’t just steal time but steals presence. You can be physically in the room with someone while being mentally and emotionally absent. Your spouse talks to you, but you’re half-listening, eyes glued to your phone. Your kids ask you to play, but you tell them “Just a minute” for the tenth time. You’re at dinner with friends, but everyone’s scrolling, lost in social media addiction, instead of talking.

Researchers have coined the term “phubbing,” phone snubbing, to describe the act of ignoring someone in favor of your device, prioritizing digital attention over human connection. Studies show that phubbing increases conflict in relationships and decreases satisfaction.4 When you choose your phone over the person in front of you, you’re sending a clear message. This screen is more important than you.

Over time, trust erodes. Your family stops asking you to engage because they know you’re distracted. Your friends stop confiding in you because you’re not really listening. The people closest to you begin to feel like they’re competing with your phone for your attention and losing.

The academic and professional toll

The research is sobering. Studies show that each additional hour of phone use per day lowers a student’s GPA by an average of 0.152 points.5 Adolescents who spend more than seven hours daily on screens are 40% less likely to achieve high academic performance.6 Even two hours of television per day at ages 8-9 correlates with losing four months of learning per year.7

As a teacher for over 15 years, I’ve witnessed these changes firsthand. Students today have a significantly harder time with basic social skills compared to a decade ago. They struggle to articulate their words clearly. They can’t maintain eye contact when speaking or being spoken to. They have difficulty relating to one another without their phones as a crutch. Social skills have decreased dramatically. What used to be natural, having a face-to-face conversation, reading social cues, and expressing thoughts verbally, now feels awkward and uncomfortable for many young people. They’ve grown up in a world where communication happens through screens, and they simply haven’t developed the skills needed for real human interaction.

Finland offers a sobering case study. Once the world’s education leader, Finland embraced technology heavily in schools over the past decade. Between 2012 and 2022, students’ performance declined by more than 20 points on average across all subjects.8 Of Finnish students, 41% reported that digital resources distracted them in every or most math lessons, significantly higher than the OECD average of 31%.9 The decline was so severe that in April 2025, Finland’s Parliament passed legislation banning personal device use in classrooms for students aged 7-16, which took effect in August 2025.10 The lesson is clear: unlimited screen access doesn’t enhance learning but undermines it. Whether you’re a student, a professional, or simply someone trying to grow and develop, screens fragment your focus and diminish your capacity for deep work.

The physical and spiritual costs

The physical toll of screen addiction is real. “Text neck,” forward head posture from looking down at devices, causes chronic pain for millions. Digital eye strain affects 50-90% of computer users.11 Blue light exposure disrupts sleep patterns, leaving you exhausted and irritable. Hours of sitting while scrolling contribute to sedentary lifestyles and declining health.

The spiritual cost may be even greater. When your mind is constantly occupied by digital noise, there’s no space left for God. Prayer becomes rushed or forgotten, often confusing true communion with a quick notification from a digital prayer app. Reading your digital Bible feels boring compared to the stimulation of your feed. Digital worship experiences feel flat because your heart has been trained to crave novelty, not depth. You lose the ability to sit in silence, to embrace digital rest, to meditate on Scripture, to hear God’s still, small voice.

Our crisis of attention is really a crisis of the self. When we can’t focus our digital attention, we can’t fully engage with reality, including spiritual reality. Screens don’t just create a digital distraction from God but reshape us into people who are incapable of sustained attention to anything, including the One who made us. This undermines true digital discipleship.

The path forward

These costs are real, but the good news is that recognizing the cost is the first step toward change and learning how to beat digital addiction.

God calls us to walk wisely, to make the best use of our time through digital discipline. That doesn’t mean perfection. It means intentionality. It means looking honestly at what you’re losing and deciding it’s not worth it anymore. The days are evil, Paul reminds us. We don’t have time to waste. Every moment matters.

What you’ve lost can’t be recovered, but what lies ahead can still be redeemed, rebuilding a resilient digital faith.

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Reflection Questions:

  1. What has excessive screen time cost you in terms of relationships, sleep, work, or spiritual growth?
  2. If you could reclaim the hours you’ve spent on screens this past year, what would you do with that time?
  3. Who in your life have you “phubbed” or neglected because of your phone? How might you begin to restore those relationships and reduce your digital dependence?

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Part 3: Digital Idolatry—When Screens Become a God

How screens function as idols

An idol isn’t just a golden statue in an ancient temple. An idol is anything that demands the allegiance that belongs to God alone. It’s whatever we run to for comfort, identity, validation, or escape. It’s what captures our hearts, shapes our desires, and consumes our attention. By that definition, for many of us, our phones have become idols, fueling a subtle but powerful digital addiction.

Think about it honestly. What’s the first thing you reach for in the morning? What’s the last thing you check at night? When you’re anxious, bored, lonely, or stressed, where do you turn? If your phone is lost or dies, how do you feel? For most of us, the answer reveals an uncomfortable truth. We’ve become dependent on our devices in ways that mirror worship, elevating digital technology to a place of reverence. This is what we might call digital worship—giving our primary devotion to a screen rather than the Creator.

John’s command is simple and direct. “Little children, keep yourselves from idols” (1 John 5:21). He’s not just warning against obvious false Gods. He’s warning against anything that takes God’s place in our hearts, including modern digital temptations. Screens promise to meet needs that only God can truly satisfy, and we keep believing them.

Social media as false community

Social media addiction promises connection but delivers comparison. It offers validation through likes, comments, and shares, tiny hits of digital dopamine that make you feel seen, important, valued. For a moment, you matter. Then the feeling fades, and you need more.

This creates a vicious cycle. You post something hoping for affirmation. You check obsessively to see how many people liked it. You feel elated when the number goes up and deflated when it doesn’t. Your sense of worth becomes tied to metrics that mean nothing, digital attention from people who barely know you, scrolling past your life on their way to something else.

Worse, you start performing. You curate your life to look impressive online. You filter your photos, edit your captions, and present a version of yourself that doesn’t actually exist. If you gain a following, the pressure intensifies. You’re now trapped maintaining an image you can never fully live up to. Your identity becomes whatever gets the most engagement. This is a trap that ensnares the digital generation and older generations alike.

Meanwhile, God offers you an identity that doesn’t depend on performance or screen time. In Christ, you are fully known and fully loved, not because of what you project, but because of what He has done. You don’t need the approval of strangers. You already have the approval of the One who matters most.

Repentance and turning from digital idols

Repentance isn’t just feeling bad about your behavior or acknowledging you are a digital addict. It’s turning away from sin, and turning toward God. It’s recognizing that what you’ve been chasing can never satisfy you, and choosing to run to the One who can.

If screens have become idols in your life, repentance starts with honest acknowledgment. Admit that you’ve given them the attention, affection, and trust that belongs to God. Confess that you’ve been looking for identity, comfort, and validation in places that can’t provide them, realizing the depth of your digital dependence. Don’t minimize it or excuse it. Name it for what it is.

Then turn, not just away from screens, but toward Jesus. Ask Him to renew your mind, reshape your desires, and redirect your heart. The battle isn’t won by sheer willpower. It’s won by worship. When you treasure Christ above everything else, the cheap substitutes lose their power. This is the heart of true digital discipleship—following Jesus even in our digital choices.

Romans 12:2 reminds us, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Transformation happens when God’s truth reshapes the way you think. The more you fill your mind with Scripture (whether through a physical book or a distraction-free digital Bible), the less room there is for digital noise. The more you experience God’s presence through prayer (not just digital prayer requests, but real communion), the less you crave digital dopamine.

Remember who you are

You are not defined by your screen time or your digital habits. You’re not defined by your likes, followers, or online persona. If you are in Christ, you are a beloved child of God, chosen, adopted, redeemed, sealed by the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 1:3-14). That’s your identity. That’s who you really are.

Let that truth sink in. You don’t need validation from strangers. You have the approval of your Father. You don’t need to perform for an audience. You’re already fully accepted. You don’t need to escape into screens. You have rest in Jesus—a true digital rest that no app can provide.

The path forward isn’t just breaking a habit or learning how to beat digital addiction. It’s reclaiming your worship. Keep yourself from idols. Give your heart back to the God who made you, loves you, and calls you His own.

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Reflection Questions:

  1. In what ways might your phone or apps function like idols in your life, creating a digital dependence, demanding first attention, promising satisfaction, or shaping your identity?
  2. What would change if you truly believed your worth came from Christ alone, not from digital validation or online performance?
  3. What does repentance look like for you practically as you consider how to avoid digital addiction? What needs to change, starting today?

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Part 4: Setting Boundaries—Stewarding Technology Wisely

Technology as tool, not master

By now, you’ve seen screen time abuse and digital addiction for what it really is: a designed system that captures attention, steals time, damages relationships, and functions as a modern idol. You’ve recognized the costs and named the sin. Now comes the practical question. What do you actually do about it?

Paul’s words to the Corinthians give us a framework. Not everything that’s permissible is beneficial. Not everything that’s lawful builds up. Digital technology itself isn’t evil, but it is a tool. The question is whether you’re using it, or it’s using you. This section is about taking back control through digital discipline, biblical stewardship, and practical boundaries against digital temptations.

Biblical stewardship principles

Stewardship means managing what God has entrusted to you for His glory and others’ good. You’re a steward of your time, digital attention, relationships, and even your technology. God didn’t give you a smartphone so you could waste hours scrolling. He gave you time and mental capacity so you could love Him, serve others, and fulfill the purposes He’s designed for you.

This means treating your devices as servants, not masters. A hammer is useful when you need to build something. It’s useless, even dangerous, when you’re obsessively swinging it with no purpose. Similarly, your phone can serve you well by staying connected with distant family, coordinating schedules, and accessing helpful information. It becomes harmful when you’re compulsively checking it with no real purpose, just feeding a digital addiction.

The goal isn’t to demonize digital technology or retreat to a pre-digital age. The goal is intentionality. Use technology deliberately, for specific purposes, and then put it down. Don’t let it use you.

Remove the apps that hook you

Delete apps that fuel social media addiction from your phone. You can still access them on a computer if needed, but removing the instant access creates “friction,” extra steps that make the habit harder to perform automatically. Friction is your friend because it forces you to be intentional rather than mindless.

If you can’t bring yourself to delete them entirely, at least remove them from your home screen. Make it harder to open them without thinking. Turn off all non-essential notifications. You don’t need to know instantly when someone likes your post or comments on a photo. Notifications are designed to interrupt and capture your attention. Silence them.

Finally, consider using tools such as Freedom, Cold Turkey, or your phone’s Digital Wellbeing settings—apps designed to limit digital screen time and block digital distractions. Set these blocks in advance, during moments of clarity, so your future self can’t easily override them in moments of weakness.

Create phone-free zones and times

Establish sacred spaces where phones aren’t allowed, such as the dinner table, your bedroom, your morning quiet time, and the living room during family time. These spaces should be reserved for real connection with God, with family, with yourself.

One of the most important changes you can make is charging your phone outside your bedroom at night. Use an actual alarm clock instead. This single change will transform your mornings and evenings. If you’re concerned about emergencies, most phones allow repeat callers to ring through even when Do Not Disturb is enabled.

Make the first hour of your day and the last hour before bed screen-free zones. Begin each morning with prayer, Scripture, and reflection before allowing the digital noise to make its demands. Close each evening with digital rest and gratitude rather than scrolling into the night.

Practice a digital sabbath

Set aside one day a week, or even just a few hours, where you completely disconnect. Practice digital fasting—no phone, no social media, no screens. Use that time to rest, worship, engage with loved ones, and remember what life feels like without the buzz of technology. Jesus regularly withdrew from crowds to be alone with the Father (Luke 5:16). If Christ stepped away from demands to be alone with the Father, how much more should we do the same? The sabbath principle isn’t just about physical rest but about finding true rest in God alone, trusting His provision rather than our own constant activity.

Use tools that create accountability

Enable screen time limits on your device. Many phones have built-in features that track usage and set daily limits for specific apps. When you hit your limit and the app locks, don’t override it—that’s the boundary working. Ask someone to hold you accountable by giving a trusted friend or family member permission to check in on your screen time and ask hard questions. Share your struggles honestly rather than managing this alone. Consider checking in weekly to show them your screen time report, discuss what’s working and what isn’t, and pray together. Some people find accountability software that sends reports to a trusted friend helpful. Others benefit from joining or forming a small group focused on digital discipleship. The key is finding real people who will lovingly challenge you and celebrate your progress.

Replace the habit

You can’t just stop scrolling, but you need to replace it with something better. When you feel the urge to check your phone, do something else like praying, reading a book, going for a walk, having a real conversation, or working on a meaningful project. Replace poor digital habits with life-giving ones. Train yourself to reach for better things by keeping a physical book in places where you typically scroll, such as your nightstand, your bag, or your car. When the urge hits, read a page or keep a journal nearby for prayer. Have a list of people you’ve been meaning to call. The more you prepare alternatives in advance, the easier it becomes to choose them in the moment. If you struggle with scrolling during transitions like waiting in line, sitting in your car, or between tasks, decide ahead of time what you’ll do instead. Pray for specific people. Practice gratitude. Observe your surroundings. Simply be still. These micro-moments add up to a life of faithful digital stewardship.

I’ve had to delete many games, apps, and platforms fueling my social media addiction over the years because of how much time they consumed. The first few days of this digital detox were genuinely difficult. I’d wake up and immediately think about checking those apps, wondering what I was missing, what notifications I hadn’t seen. But by the end of that first week, something shifted. My daily screen time had dropped by more than three hours. There was a real sense of accomplishment in that, and more importantly, a sense of freedom. The apps that once felt essential turned out to be entirely replaceable.

The role of community

Freedom flourishes in community. You need people who know your struggle and will speak truth to you. Join a small group, find an accountability partner, or talk to your pastor. Don’t hide because isolation is where digital addiction thrives.

If you’re married, have an honest conversation with your spouse about boundaries. Work together to create a healthier environment and better digital habits in your home. If you have children, model what you want them to learn. They’re watching you. Your boundaries teach them what’s valuable and what isn’t. Consider creating family agreements about digital technology use, when and where devices are allowed, what types of content are appropriate, and how much time is reasonable. Make these decisions together and hold each other accountable with grace.

Grace for the process

Setting boundaries is hard. You’ll fail sometimes. You’ll check your phone when you said you wouldn’t. You’ll fall back into old patterns of digital dependence. When that happens, don’t spiral into shame but confess it, get back up, and keep going.

Sanctification—and true digital discipleship—is a process, not a one-time event. God is patient with you. Extend that same patience to yourself. The goal isn’t perfection but progress. Small, consistent steps forward over time will lead to real, lasting change.

Remember that every stumble is an opportunity to be reminded of your need for grace. You’re not saved by your ability to manage your screen time but by Christ. These boundaries are expressions of gratitude for His work in you, not attempts to earn His love.

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Reflection Questions:

  1. What specific boundaries do you sense God calling you to implement? App limits, phone-free zones, digital fasting?
  2. What fears or resistance do you feel about limiting your screen time? What does that reveal about your dependence on devices?
  3. Who can you ask to hold you accountable in this area? When will you have that conversation?

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Part 5: Living in the Real World—Finding True Connection and Purpose

The call to embodied presence

You’ve identified the problem, confronted the idolatry, and set boundaries. Now comes the most important part of living differently. Freedom from screen time dominance and digital addiction isn’t just about what you stop doing but about what you start doing. God didn’t save you from bondage just to leave you empty. He saved you for something better, a life lived fully in His presence, deeply connected to real people, and purposefully engaged with the world He made.

The writer of Hebrews reminds us that we were made for community, real, embodied, face-to-face community. “Not neglecting to meet together” isn’t just about showing up to church or watching digital church. It’s about refusing to let digital substitutes and digital technology replace genuine human connection. You can’t disciple someone through a screen. You can’t bear one another’s burdens via text. You can’t experience the fullness of Christian fellowship through social media.

Phone addiction has trained you to prefer the comfort of digital distance over the risk of real presence. This session is about reclaiming what was lost, the joy of being fully present, the satisfaction of skilled work, and the purpose of living for something greater than yourself.

Rediscovering lost arts

Skilled practices and activities that require focused attention and engagement within the real world can be the antidote to our digital dependence. When you work with your hands, create something tangible, or develop a craft, you’re forced to submit to reality. The wood doesn’t care about your feelings. The recipe won’t work if you skip steps. The instrument demands practice.

This kind of work is deeply formative. It teaches patience, humility, and focus. It reminds you that you’re a physical being in a physical world, not just a disembodied consciousness floating through digital noise.

What skilled practices might you pursue? Learn to cook real meals from scratch instead of scrolling through food videos. Chop the vegetables, season the dish, and serve it to people you love. Pick up an instrument and practice scales, even when it’s frustrating. Work in your garden, feeling the soil in your hands and watching things grow over weeks and months. Build something with your hands, a bookshelf, a birdhouse, anything that requires planning, measuring, and adjusting to physical reality rather than digital distraction.

Read physical books that require sustained attention. Not articles or blog posts, but actual books that take days or weeks to finish. Learn a new language through consistent practice, not just an app. Take up drawing, woodworking, knitting, or any craft that demands your full presence and rewards your patience.

The beauty of skill activity is that they force you into the present moment. You can’t scroll while kneading bread dough. You can’t half-pay attention while playing a musical instrument. These activities demand all of you, and in giving them your full attention, you discover what it feels like to be fully alive.

The discipline of boredom

One of the most valuable things you can relearn is how to be bored. Boredom isn’t the enemy but the seedbed of creativity, reflection, digital rest, and prayer. When you’re uncomfortable with silence, you reach for your phone to satisfy a social media addiction. When you learn to sit with boredom, your mind begins to wander in productive ways. You think, pray, notice things, and become present to God and to yourself.

Some of the most important spiritual insights come in moments of unstimulated silence. The prophet Elijah didn’t hear God’s voice in the earthquake, wind, or fire but heard it in “a low whisper” (1 Kings 19:12). If you’re never quiet enough to hear a whisper because of digital overuse, you’ll miss God’s voice. When was the last time you were truly still long enough to hear God’s whisper?

Service and ministry as antidotes to self-absorption

Screen addiction is fundamentally self-focused, all about consuming content that serves you by entertaining, informing, or validating you. The antidote is other-focused living through service, ministry, and love in action.

Get involved in your local church by volunteering to serve in a ministry that requires your physical presence, whether that’s greeting people at the door, serving in the nursery, helping with setup and teardown, visiting shut-ins, or preparing meals for those in need. Mentor someone younger in the faith—engaging in true, face-to-face digital discipleship (which often means putting the devices away)—by spending time with them and investing in their growth.

Visit the sick or spend an hour sitting with someone who’s lonely, not texting them but actually being there. Help the poor by using your hands and your time to meet real needs in the real world, whether that’s tutoring a struggling student, coaching a youth sports team, or leading a Bible study in your home.

I started coaching two of my sons’ soccer teams, which required showing up three times a week with no digital distractions. Those hours of focused presence, teaching fundamentals, encouraging kids, and being fully there gave me a satisfaction that scrolling never could. I was using my time for something that actually mattered.

I also made a change at home. As soon as I walked through the door after work, before checking my phone or starting homework, I would wrestle with my boys and go outside to play soccer together for 15-20 minutes. That focused time, as soon as I got home, became invaluable to our relationship and met needs they had that I’d been missing. It’s time that can never be made up, but it’s not too late to start now.

When you’re engaged in meaningful service, you won’t have time to scroll mindlessly. More importantly, you won’t want to. There’s a deep satisfaction that comes from using your time and energy to genuinely help others, a satisfaction that no amount of likes or views can match.

Jesus said the greatest commandments are to love God and love your neighbor (Matthew 22:37-40). While screens can facilitate some forms of connection, they cannot replace the embodied presence that genuine love requires. Love demands our full digital attention, our physical presence, our willingness to sacrifice comfort. Poor digital habits train you to be passive and self-serving. Kingdom life calls you to be active and sacrificial.

Building new habits that nourish the soul

Freedom isn’t just about breaking old habits but about building new ones. Here are practices to cultivate.

Begin with morning prayer instead of scrolling. Before you check anything, spend time with God. Read Scripture. Pray through a list of people and concerns. Start your day with Him, not with your feed. Even five minutes of focused prayer will reorient your entire day.

End with evening reflection instead of binge-watching. Review your day with God. What are you grateful for? Where did you see Him at work? Where did you fail? What needs to change tomorrow? Write these reflections in a journal.

Embrace weekly rhythms of rest. Practice the sabbath principle. One day a week, step away from productivity and screens. Choose a specific day and protect it on your calendar. Rest in God’s presence. Spend unhurried time with loved ones. Go for a long walk. Enjoy a meal together. Let your soul catch up with your body.

Take monthly digital fasts from noise. Mark one weekend each month on your calendar right now for an extended break from social media or screens altogether. Treat these fasts as non-negotiable appointments with God, sacred time set apart for Him alone. Notice how it feels. Notice what you gain. Use that time to read books you’ve been meaning to read, have conversations you’ve been putting off, or simply rest.

The long-term vision

Changing your relationship with screens is a lifelong process of digital discipleship and not a quick fix. There will be setbacks, struggles, and moments when the pull of old habits feels overwhelming. That’s normal and expected in the process of transformation.

What matters is the trajectory. Are you moving toward God or away from Him? Are you growing in your capacity for attention, presence, and love? Are you becoming more like Christ? This is the ultimate goal of digital discipleship.

Finland’s story offers hope. A nation that embraced technology and watched its children suffer is now reversing course. Change is possible for nations, and for individuals. You don’t have to stay where you are.

God is patient. He’s committed to your transformation. He’ll meet you in your weakness and give you strength. Keep walking, praying, and turning your heart back to Him. The path may be long, but you’re not walking it alone.

—

Reflection Questions:

  1. What real-world activities or relationships do you want to invest in more deeply?
  2. What skilled practices might you pursue that would draw you into sustained engagement with reality?
  3. What’s your vision for a life less dominated by screen time and digital noise, and more anchored in Christ?

—

Conclusion

Freedom in Christ is not just about walking away from something destructive but about walking into something far greater. Throughout this guide, you’ve examined the hidden costs of screen addiction, confronted the digital idolatry of modern life, and learned practical steps toward freedom. Now the question is, what will you do?

Maybe your journey has been marked by deep regret. Maybe you’ve lost time, damaged relationships, or drifted from God due to digital distraction. No matter how far you’ve gone, you are not beyond the reach of grace. Jesus came for the broken, the enslaved, and the desperate. He came for you.

Repentance is more than behavior change. It’s a heart turning back to God. Real change happens as you depend on Him daily, building new digital habits rooted in His Word, prayer, community, and meaningful service.

There will be moments of weakness and setbacks along the way. The old patterns of digital dependence will whisper promises they can’t keep. When that happens, remember this truth: you’re not the same person who started this journey. You’re learning to live as someone adopted, chosen, and empowered by the Spirit. Christ doesn’t just set you free but walks with you in freedom.

The path ahead won’t always be easy, yet it will be worth it. Eyes up. Heart open. Walk forward.

“I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling
to which you have been called.” —Ephesians 4:1

End Notes

  1. Duarte, Fabio. “Alarming Average Screen Time Statistics (2025).” Exploding Topics, last updated April 24, 2025.
  2. Wheelwright, Trevor. “Cell Phone Usage Stats 2025: Americans Check Their Phones 205 Times a Day.” Reviews.org, January 1, 2025.
  3. Matthew B. Crawford, The World Beyond Your Head: On Becoming an Individual in an Age of Distraction (New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2015), 24.
  4. Roberts, James A., and Meredith E. David. “My Life Has Become a Major Distraction from My Cell Phone: Partner Phubbing and Relationship Satisfaction Among Romantic Partners.” Computers in Human Behavior 54 (2016): 134-141.
  5. Lepp, Andrew, Jacob E. Barkley, and Aryn C. Karpinski. “The Relationship Between Cell Phone Use, Academic Performance, Anxiety, and Satisfaction with Life in College Students.” Computers in Human Behavior 31 (2014): 343-350.
  6. Adelantado-Renau M, Moliner-Urdiales D, Cavero-Redondo I, Beltran-Valls MR, Martínez-Vizcaíno V, Álvarez-Bueno C. Association Between Screen Media Use and Academic Performance Among Children and Adolescents: A Systematic Review and Meta-analysis. JAMA Pediatr. 2019;173(11):1058–1067. doi:10.1001/jamapediatrics.2019.3176.
  7. Hancox, Robert J., Barry J. Milne, and Richie Poulton. “Association of Television Viewing During Childhood with Poor Educational Achievement.” Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine 159, no. 7 (2005): 614-618.
  8. OECD (2023), PISA 2022 Results (Volume I): The State of Learning and Equity in Education, PISA, OECD Publishing, Paris, https://doi.org/10.1787/53f23881-en.
  9. Finland Ministry of Education and Culture. “PISA 2022: Performance Fell Both in Finland and in Nearly All Other OECD Countries.” December 5, 2023.
  10. Helsinki Times. “Phones Banned from Finnish Classrooms Starting This Autumn.” April 29, 2025.
  11. American Optometric Association. “Computer Vision Syndrome.” 2017.

About the Author

LUKE RININGER is a high school teacher in Columbus, Ohio. He and his wife have three boys. Luke has degrees from Ohio University (Math Education), Grand Canyon University (Master of Education), and Southern Seminary (Master of Divinity and Doctorate of Educational Ministry).

#97 Aging Gracefully: Mentoring in Your Latter Years

1 The Biblical Lens on Aging

The Bible is refreshingly realistic about aging. It doesn’t tell us that if we simply think young, we will stay young. It doesn’t promise that if we drink enough kale smoothies or spend enough time under therapeutic red lights, we’ll look and feel thirty forever. No, Scripture knows better. It knows that getting older is both a gift and a grind. Some blessings come with age: wisdom, perspective, and endurance. And there are difficulties: mysterious body aches, disease and illness, and the gradual loss of friends and family who pass before us.

The Bible affirms both: gray hair can be a crown of glory (Prov. 16:31), and yet “the years of our life are seventy, or even by reason of strength eighty; yet their span is but toil and trouble” (Ps. 90:10). Blessings and difficulties, bound together in your body and soul. Bible verses about getting older, like Ecclesiastes 12:1 (“Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come”), offer guidance on how to live with purpose and wisdom as we age.

Ecclesiastes 12 is perhaps the most honest passage in the whole Bible on aging. Solomon describes trembling hands, stooped backs, fading eyesight, failing hearing, and teeth that are few and far between. Scripture doesn’t romanticize the decline of our frame; it puts it right in front of us like a mirror we can’t stop looking at. But even in these reflections, we are called to age gracefully, embracing the changes with faith and trust in God’s sovereign will for our lives.

Aging Gracefully

Aging is unavoidable. Which is why Moses prays in Psalm 90: “So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.” You can hide the gray, nip and tuck the skin, lift the weights, and buy the supplements, but eventually, the body’s decay will outpace your ability to primp, color, and tuck. In other words, don’t waste your time pretending you’re not aging. Don’t spend your life fighting the physical reality of your age. Face it head-on.

And here’s the hope: the truth is not meant to discourage us. Instead, Scripture tells us the truth to set us free from the lies of the culture and the self-delusion of our hearts. Paul can say with clarity and courage, “Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day” (2 Cor. 4:16). Yes, the body weakens. That’s real. But just as real is the Spirit’s work of inner renewal. If the mirror shows you crow’s feet, it may also reveal deeper joy lines from a life marked by following Jesus. Aging gracefully is about accepting that change and seeing it as a part of God’s plan for our lives.

That’s the biblical view of aging: honest, hopeful, and…unavoidable. The question isn’t whether we’ll age, but how we will do so. Will we do it bitterly, contemptuously, ungracefully, grasping for a long-forgotten youth? Or will we do so wisely, numbering our days and finding renewal in the God who carries us all the way to gray hairs and beyond (Isa. 46:4)? Aging gracefully is the choice to embrace the natural process with faith, focusing on spiritual growth and trusting God with each season of life.

Reflection Questions:

  1. What is the biggest challenge you face in accepting the reality of aging, and how does Scripture speak into that struggle?
  2. In what ways have you seen God use your changing season of life to deepen your faith or shift your perspective?
  3. How can you begin to cultivate a mindset that views aging not only as decline but as an opportunity for spiritual growth and greater dependence on the Lord?

2 The Lies Our Culture Tells

The older I get, the more I realize that aging is hard on the whole person, not just the body. Wrinkles aren’t just wrinkles; they’re evidence that I’m not young anymore. Gray hair isn’t just gray hair; it’s a signal to all of my daughter’s friends that they should probably call me “sir”. Aging gracefully doesn’t come easily in a culture that celebrates youth and resists aging. But how to live a simple life in this context means accepting our age with grace and a heart that seeks God, not the approval of a culture that prizes external appearance over eternal value.

Aging is difficult enough on its own, but it’s made harder by the stories our culture tells us about what it means to grow old. These are stories you’ve told, and been told, whether you realize it or not. Some of these stories are true, but rare. Most of the lies are common and not quiet. Let’s explore some of them together.

Lie #1: Life Peaks at 25

Turn on the TV, scroll through Instagram, or glance at the ads in a magazine, and you’ll notice a theme: youth is the highest good, the greatest value. Smooth skin, endless energy, and a body so tight that it squeaks when it walks: that’s the dream. Entire industries are built on the promise of holding back, or even reversing, the effects of father time on the human body. But here’s the truth: You can’t win the battle against wrinkles, but even if you could, you will never win the war against the grave. Our culture tells us that with the right diet, exercise, and skin care routine, we can keep our youth forever, but Scripture reminds us: “All flesh is grass, and all its beauty is like the flower of the field. The grass withers, the flower fades…” (Isa. 40:6–7).

Lie #2: Aging Means Irrelevance

Our culture worships the new: new ideas, new technology, new voices. Which makes it feel like the old will be pushed to the margins. The message is subtle, but constant: once you’ve passed peak bloom, your usefulness is over. But that’s not how God sees it. Proverbs calls gray hair a crown, not a curse (Prov. 16:31). The church is told to prize older saints for their wisdom, not shove them aside as relics of another era (Titus 2:2-4). Irrelevance is a cultural lie, not a biblical truth. Aging gracefully is not about fading into the background but embracing the wisdom that comes with time and experience.

Lie #3: Death Won’t Come for Me

The biggest lie our culture tells is that death doesn’t need to be dealt with until it’s almost here. We avoid the word itself with euphemisms like “passed away” and “gone to the other side,” we hide death behind closed doors and in hospital rooms, and we distract ourselves from the reality of our impending death with endless entertainment. But the Bible refuses to look away from the reality of death: “It is appointed for man to die once, and after that comes judgment” (Heb. 9:27).

It’s no light thing to look death in the face, but look we must. Only when we face death honestly can we run to the One who has already defeated it. Aging gracefully begins with acknowledging the inevitable truth of death. It’s in embracing this truth with faith that we find peace and purpose in our lives.

So much of the anxiety, bitterness, and denial that comes with aging is fueled by a refusal to reckon with death. That’s why Moses prayed, “Teach us to number our days, that we may get a heart of wisdom” (Ps. 90:12). To number our days is to admit they are limited, to confess that we will not last forever, and to live each one in the fear of the Lord. This is not a call to morbid thinking, but wise living. Aging gracefully means accepting our mortality with faith in God’s eternal promises.

When we take our mortality seriously, we receive God’s mercy gladly. If you want to age gracefully, you must begin at the end. Consider your death, and then consider grace, because only those who accept their death can age with the grace of the gospel. Aging gracefully means facing the reality of life’s brevity while embracing the mercy that Jesus offers to us all.

Reflection Questions:

  1. How does the truth of God’s steadfast love and faithfulness give you stability as you grow older?
  2. In what ways are you tempted to let aging make you bitter or fearful, and how might God’s promises help you resist that drift?
  3. What practical steps can you take this week to remind yourself daily of God’s presence and care in this season of life?

3 The Graces God Gives with Age

Getting older isn’t all bad. Sure, you may need stronger glasses, spend more time in the doctor’s office, and take a lot more ibuprofen, but growing older can also bring many blessings. The story of aging in the Bible isn’t just about that which fades, but about that which God grows. Consider…

Wisdom and spiritual maturity

Job 12:12 says, “Wisdom is with the aged, and understanding in length of days.” You can’t microwave wisdom; you have to crockpot cook it through a long life. Wisdom comes slowly, through the furnace of experience and ten thousand trials. Younger people may have energy and enthusiasm, but older saints see hidden pitfalls, remember God’s faithfulness, and carry the confidence of someone who’s never seen God fail.

What is spiritual maturity? Spiritual maturity is not simply about knowledge or age but about a deepening relationship with Christ that transforms our character. It’s the process of becoming more like Jesus, where our hearts are aligned with His, and we reflect His love and wisdom in our daily lives. As we age, we have the privilege of growing in this spiritual maturity, learning more about God’s heart and becoming more aligned with His will. This is the beauty of Christian maturity: it allows us to navigate life with wisdom and grace, embracing the aging process with a perspective centered on Christ.

In the process of spiritual aging, as we grow older, we also have the opportunity to mature spiritually. With each year, our trust in God’s grace deepens, and this growth is essential to Christian maturity. The Bible’s spiritual maturity verses guide us to understand that the true essence of life is not found in our physical appearance but in how we grow closer to Christ. It’s a new spiritual age, one where we learn to prioritize eternal values over temporary ones.

Think of the wisdom of the aged like compound interest: every year you walk with God, you are making deposits of trust and obedience into the account of your soul. Over time, those deposits don’t just add, they multiply. By the time your hair turns gray, you don’t just have knowledge, you have an abundance of wisdom. (Which is why the church desperately needs the voices of older saints in the congregation.)

Mentorship

Age also brings the opportunity to invest in others. Paul told Titus, “Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled… Older women likewise… are to teach what is good, and so train the young women” (Titus 2:2–4). With years of faithfulness comes gospel credibility. With gospel credibility comes spiritual responsibility and influence. Older saints aren’t meant to store up their wisdom, but to share it liberally with the young in their midst. They are called to be spiritual mothers and fathers. The younger church needs the scars, stories, and steady examples of the aged.

This is a reflection of spiritual maturity, as Christian maturity calls us to pour into the lives of others. Being spiritually mature means not only growing in our walk with God but also nurturing the faith of those coming behind us. Our lives should be a testimony of how to live a simple Christian life, grounded in God’s Word and focused on His mission.

Discernment

If youthful zeal tends to throw caution to the wind, seasoned faith tends to test the spirits, weigh the options, and distinguish between good, better, and best; between what is right and almost right. Hebrews 5:14 says, “But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil.” More years walking with Jesus sharpens our spiritual eyesight, even as our physical vision diminishes and blurs.

As we mature in Christ, we define spiritual maturity by our ability to discern what truly matters and to make choices that honor God, even in the midst of life’s complexities.

Perspective

One of the great gifts of age is knowing that the world doesn’t rise and fall on today’s headlines, yesterday’s mistakes, or tomorrow’s tragedies. The aged have seen enough news cycles to know that storms pass, wounds heal, and God remains faithful. With perspective comes the ability to testify: “I have been young, and now am old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken” (Ps. 37:25).

This perspective reflects spiritual maturity, as we learn to trust in God’s sovereignty even in our spiritual aging. We can have simple faith in His promises, knowing that His plan for us remains unchanged.

Endurance

Caleb, at 85, said, “I am still as strong today as I was in the day that Moses sent me” (Josh. 14:11). Most of us won’t feel that physically spry in our eighties, but we can feel that way spiritually. Endurance is one of the great graces of aging: the ability to look back over decades of trials, setbacks, and sufferings and say, “God has carried me this far, I know he will carry me all the way home.” Young faith is often fiery but fragile. Seasoned faith has weathered storms and proven its strength. That’s why Paul could write these words near the end of his life, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith” (2 Tim. 4:7).

Grandparenting

Perhaps one of the sweetest graces of age is becoming a grandparent-in the faith or in the flesh. Paul reminded Timothy that his faith first dwelt in his “grandmother Lois” (2 Tim. 1:5). God often uses grandparents to leave fingerprints of faith on the hearts of their grandchildren. Your role may not feel as large or as fast-paced as you grow older, but your influence can be deeper and longer-lasting than you might imagine if you’re willing to invest in the faith of your children’s children.

Legacy

Paul’s words at the end of his life are an echo of hope: “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith” (2 Tim. 4:7). Older saints have the opportunity to pass the baton to the next generation, to hand down their faith to children, grandchildren, and the younger believers in their churches. Legacy isn’t about leaving money or monuments behind but pointing to Christ so clearly with your life that those who come after you run the race with greater confidence.

The years may take much from us, but in Christ, they also give much back. The aged trade youthful strength for seasoned wisdom, restless ambition for calm perspective, naïve zeal for tested endurance, and constant striving for a legacy of faithfulness. Here is the option before you as you age: cover your gray hair with dye or wear it as a crown of glory (Prov. 16:31). Which of those, if you saw it in someone else, would look more like aging gracefully?

Reflection Questions:

  1. What does it mean to you personally that righteousness by the law is impossible, but righteousness by faith is available to everyone?
  2. How does remembering the gospel free you from trying to prove yourself through performance, even as you grow older?
  3. Who in your life might need to hear the good news that righteousness is by faith alone, and how could you encourage them this week?

4 Practical Counsel on Aging Gracefully

The gospel doesn’t just tell us why we can age with grace; it shows us how to age gracefully. If the earlier chapters have given us perspective on aging, this one is about practice-the intentional choices and daily habits that help us to live well in light of God’s promises. Aging gracefully is not something that happens by accident; it happens when we actively trust Christ, taking small, faithful steps day after day. Aging well is about embracing the wisdom and opportunities that come with the passing years, not retreating or simply coasting through life.

There might be a tiny, lying voice in your heart that says, “Because God has promised resurrection, I can just coast until I die.” But Paul says this, “But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 3:13-14) In other words, God’s grace energizes us to live differently, even as we age, all the way across the finish line. Learning how to age gracefully is not just about waiting for the inevitable but actively living with purpose and faith, pressing forward until the end.

So how do we press hard all the way to the finish line? How do we make sure we’re not just growing older, but growing in grace, aging gracefully? In the pages that follow, I want to offer seven practical steps. They’re not complicated, but they are essential.

Practice 1: Stay Rooted in God’s Word

Psalm 1 paints a picture of the blessed life as a tree planted by streams of water, whose leaves do not wither and whose fruit never fails. That’s what it looks like to be rooted in God’s Word. The older we get, the more this picture matters. Growing older means facing more challenges, but being rooted in God’s Word allows us to withstand the storms that come our way. A tree that has stood through decades of storms only survives because its roots go deep. The same is true for us.

As we grow older, new challenges test our faith: physical weakness, grief over friends who have died, the sting of feeling less “useful,” and the ache of regrets that may haunt us. We won’t be able to withstand such storms if our Bible is closed and gathering dust on a shelf somewhere. We need to keep our eyes on the words of Scripture, rooting our hearts in the Word of God, the source of life and stability that no season of life can take away.

“Even to old age and gray hairs, O God, do not forsake me, until I proclaim your might to another generation” (Ps. 71:18). This is a beautiful example of the powerful scripture on aging that encourages us to remain faithful, even in our later years.

Practically, this means feeding on the Scriptures as a daily routine-daily bread that we feast on every time our soul feels the hunger pangs of aging gracefully. Some people stop reading the Bible because their eyesight weakens. Others give up because they can’t remember Scripture as well as they used to. Don’t let those obstacles rob you of the joy and strength of the Word of God. Listen to the Bible on audio. Read shorter sections and meditate on them more deeply. Copy verses on 3×5 cards. Ask someone to read with and to you. No matter what, find some way to keep the roots of your soul in the streams of heavenly water.

Here’s some encouragement: older saints have a gift younger believers don’t: years of Scripture already stored up in the heart. Think of all those Sundays you’ve heard the Word of God preached, all the Bible studies you’ve attended over the years, all the verses you’ve memorized and quoted. None of that is wasted. You may not be able to recall it as quickly or as clearly as you once did, but it still lives in you, flowing like a gentle but powerful stream.

Even more practically, staying rooted in God’s Word means more than reading for yourself; it means letting the Word overflow to others. When a young Christian asks how you’ve endured decades of difficulty, answer with Bible verses on age like Psalm 71:18, which says, “Even to old age and gray hairs, O God, do not forsake me,” or Proverbs 16:31, “Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained in a righteous life.” When you pray with your grandchildren, pray the promises of Scripture over them. For example, remind them of Isaiah 46:4: “Even to your old age I am He, and to gray hairs I will carry you.” When you talk with your spouse over dinner or pray before bed, recall God’s faithfulness in His Word, like Psalm 92:14, “They still bear fruit in old age; they are ever full of sap and green.” This is where aging and faith begin. Wrinkles may line our face, but Scripture cuts deeper lines in our hearts. Gray hair may crown the head, but God’s Word will be the crown of our life.

Practice 2: Keep Praying

If staying in God’s Word is like planting your roots deep in the streams of living water, then prayer is like drawing those waters up from the roots to nourish your entire being. Prayer keeps the soul alive and connected to God, even as the body fades. Prayer is the gift of every saint, in every season, especially as the years advance.

The Bible is full of older saints praying. Anna the prophetess, who was widowed young, spent decades in the temple worshiping and praying until the day she saw the baby Jesus (Luke 2:36–38). Daniel, in his old age, opened his windows toward Jerusalem and prayed three times a day, even under threat of death (Dan. 6:10). Paul, chained and aging in prison, filled his letters with prayers for the churches. Prayer doesn’t retire with age, it ripens.

But let’s be honest: praying as you get older can feel harder. Our knees ache when we kneel, our minds wander in meditation, and our memory may feel like it’s slipping. But take heart: God hears the sighs and groans of His children, even when we stutter or forget what we were trying to say: “The Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words” (Rom. 8:26). Even when you can’t find the words, God can.

Practically, this means shaping prayer to your season of life. If long lists overwhelm you, pray short, frequent prayers throughout the day. If you forget who to pray for, write names down on cards or in a notebook. Pray Scripture back to God: the Lord’s Prayer, the Psalms, and other promises you’ve memorized over the years. If you can’t pray out loud for very long, whisper short prayers for family, friends, and your church as the Lord brings them to mind. A lifetime of little prayers adds up to a legacy of fruitful intercession!

And here’s one more thing: your prayers may be more powerful as you get older. Why? Because you have lived long enough to see God’s faithfulness, to know His patience, to understand the depth of His mercy. Your faith has increased, and therefore, so will your fruit. So keep praying.

When you can no longer work like you once did, you can still pray. When you can no longer teach like you once did, you can still pray. When you can no longer leave your home, you can pray. And in God’s economy, that is not a lesser ministry, but a greater one.

Practice 3: Practice Gratitude

Aging can quietly tempt us toward grumbling. The cliché of the crotchety old man exists for a reason. The body hurts, energy fades, and sometimes the world feels like it’s moving on without us. The younger generation seems faster, sharper, and more relevant. The aged often feel forgotten. If we’re not careful, bitterness can creep in, and bitterness has a way of shrinking the soul’s capacity for thanksgiving. Gospel-grounded gratitude, on the other hand, enlarges that capacity, which is why gratitude is one of the surest signs of aging gracefully.

The Bible commands gratitude because it is God’s will for your life: “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (1 Thess. 5:18). Notice it doesn’t say “give thanks when things are easy” or “when you’re young and strong.” It says in all circumstances. Gratitude isn’t a personality trait for the naturally cheerful people, it’s a spiritual discipline for every believer, even as they age. Especially as they age.

So how do we practice gratitude? Well, there are as many different ways to practice gratitude as there are differing life circumstances, but for now, let me offer you three very concrete ways:

The thing about gratitude is, it redeems the very things we’re tempted to resent.

Gratitude also shapes how others see you. Nobody enjoys the company of a bitter old man or woman, but everyone is drawn to the joy of a thankful saint. A grateful spirit is magnetic, and when people ask why you’re so full of gratitude, you’ll have the opportunity to say, “Because Christ has given me more than age can take away.”

And that’s the heart of it: gratitude is only possible because of the gospel. Christ has already given us forgiveness, adoption, eternal life, and the promise of resurrection. Those gifts outweigh every loss, every ache, and every decline that comes with aging gracefully. That’s why, even in prison, Paul could write, “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice” (Phil. 4:4). If Paul could rejoice in chains, on his way to certain death in Rome, then you can rejoice in your aging gracefully.

Practice 4: Stay in Community

One of the greatest dangers of aging is isolation. As friends pass away, as physical limitations prevent us from leaving home as much as we used to, as energy levels fade, the temptation is to withdraw and accept isolation as the new norm. And when we do, it’s all downhill. We stop attending church as often. We decline invitations to dinner with friends. We tell ourselves that we don’t want to be a burden. Before long, loneliness becomes the new normal. But here’s the thing: God says it is not good for man to be alone (Gen. 2:18).

This is a truth that doesn’t expire with age. Psalm 92 says of the righteous, “They still bear fruit in old age; they are ever full of sap and green, to declare that the LORD is upright” (Ps. 92:14–15). The world’s image of old age, which you might have imbibed without even realizing it, is that we accept isolation as inevitable. But the Bible’s vision of old age is full of community, ministry in the church, and fruitful fellowship.

Immediately, this means that God is calling you to stay as deeply rooted in the life of your local church as possible. Don’t start treating church attendance as optional. You may not be able to serve the way you once did, but your very presence is a ministry. When younger believers see you singing through your pain, praying with faith, and listening with eagerness to the Word of God, it teaches them what it looks like to follow Jesus in every stage of life. Your endurance is their encouragement.

Community also keeps you safe. Proverbs 18:1 warns, “Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment.” Don’t believe the lie that says you will automatically and necessarily grow more holy as you age. Sin stands crouching at the door of every human heart, even the hearts of the elderly. Isolation will only compound the risks, but community offers relationship, accountability, and hope.

So what does this look like as you age?

Stay connected to worship. Even if you need help getting there, make gathering with God’s people a priority. To be even more practical: don’t be afraid to ask for a ride to church! If health prevents you, stay connected through phone calls, visits, or small groups. If you’re church has video or audio services available, be sure to tune in! But don’t let virtual connection replace embodied fellowship.

Invest in relationships across generations. Don’t be content to only spend time with those in your age group. Seek out younger families, singles, and children in the church to build relationships with and pour into. They need your perspective, and you need their energy. That’s Titus 2 in action: older saints discipling the younger ones.

Be willing to receive care. Pride resists help, but humility receives it. Don’t say, “I don’t want to be a burden,” when you need help. God calls us to bear one another’s burdens in the local church (Gal. 6:2). Don’t rob the other members of your local church of the blessing of being able to serve you in your time of need. When younger believers mow your yard, drive you to appointments, or bring you a meal, that’s not you being a burden; that’s them fulfilling the law of Christ. Let them serve you and be blessed in return.

Aging gracefully means resisting the drift toward isolation and pressing into fellowship. You may feel like you don’t have much to offer anymore, but your presence, prayers, and faith are more valuable than you know. The church doesn’t need its older saints to disappear quietly. It needs them to stay and be powerfully present: to sing, to speak, to encourage, and to model the faith once for all delivered to the saints.

Practice 5: Steward Your Health Wisely

There’s no way around it: aging brings physical decline. Bodies slow down, joints ache, and recovery takes longer. Some people fight this decline tooth and nail, experimenting with extreme diets, fitness routines, and chemistry experiments on their endocrine system, all in the hopes of holding back Father Time. On the other hand, some merely resign themselves to the recliner, letting inactivity and lethargy steal what strength they have left. The gospel, however, gives us a better option: wise stewardship of our aging flesh.

Paul writes, “For while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come” (1 Tim. 4:8). Notice, Paul doesn’t dismiss physical training. It does have some value. But it’s not ultimate. Stewardship means taking care of the body God has given you, not to keep your youth forever, but to maximize usefulness for His kingdom while you’re still on this side of eternity.

Practically, what does this look like?

And don’t miss this: caring for your body is not vain if your motivation is love. Staying healthy allows you to keep serving the church, enjoying your family, and ministering the gospel that has saved you, body and soul. Stewardship is not mere self-preservation, it is an act of worship.

At the same time, remember your limits. You can eat kale every day of your aging life, and it won’t stop you from growing old. You can stretch for hours every day, but you’re still going to get stiffer with each passing decade. You can hit the gym religiously, but no amount of cardio will keep your heart pumping forever.

Stewardship isn’t about escaping your mortality; it’s about accepting it and then honoring the Lord with the body he gave you, for as long as it is in your possession.

So take a walk. Lift something heavy. Stretch a stiff joint. Eat a salad (and some ice cream, in moderation). And give thanks while you’re doing it all. Your body may be fading, but it is still fearfully and wonderfully made.

Practice 6: On Cosmetic Procedures

This might be the most delicate topic of the whole section, and perhaps even the entire life skills guide! Nevertheless, we can’t move on without considering what the gospel has to say about trying to preserve the appearance of youth, even as we lose it. So, let’s ask the tough question: How should Christians think about cosmetic procedures? From hair dye to Botox, from facelifts to teeth whitening to calf implants? Are these practices inappropriate for the Christian? Or are they permissible?

First, we must admit that the Bible doesn’t give us a verse that clearly states, “Thou shalt not dye your hair,” though it does get close! (1 Pet. 3:3) And yet, we can say that the Bible does give us certain principles about beauty and aging that can merge together in a lovely bouquet of wisdom.

On one hand, God is not against beauty. He adorned creation with splendor and filled the temple with craftsmanship. Proverbs 31 celebrates a woman who clothes herself with strength and dignity. Caring about appearance is not inherently sinful and can often be a righteous way to love and serve one’s neighbor.

On the other hand, Scripture warns us not to be deceived by outward beauty and the hold it can have on our vain hearts. “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised” (Prov. 31:30). Peter tells women not to focus on braided hair and fine clothes but on “the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit” (1 Pet. 3:3–4). Outward appearance is temporary. Inward character is eternal, and true beauty is what happens when the inward character radiates outward.

So, what does this mean for cosmetic procedures? This short life skills guide doesn’t allow us space to explore every ethical nuance, so let’s try to get to the heart of the matter. In many ways, this conversation comes down to motives. If the goal is stewardship-presenting yourself neatly, caring for your body, and seeking to love others with confidence-then certain cosmetic routines may be fine. But, if the goal is denial-pretending you’re not aging, clinging to beauty or strength of youth in desperation, even as it eludes you-then there’s a problem.

Think about it this way: you can cover your gray hair with dye, or you can wear it as a crown of glory (Prov. 16:31). Which one, if you saw it in someone else, would look more like aging gracefully? Dyeing your hair isn’t necessarily a sin, but wearing your years with dignity, without shame, is a powerful testimony to the gospel. This is one of the signs of a mature Christian-embracing the natural process of aging without fear or shame. It must also be noted that one could go completely gray as an act of self-righteous pride. Do you see how tricky the human heart can be?

Practically, this counsel calls us to ask hard questions like:

None of this means you can’t use lotion, fix your teeth, or comb over a bald spot. Tending to your body is very much like tending to a garden: Don’t be afraid to pull out the weeds and primp the beauty of the flowers! But do remember: stewardship and vanity often look similar on the surface. The difference is often only seen in the heart by God. One says, “Thank you, Lord, for this body and these years. Help me use them well.” The other says, “I refuse to look my age because my worth is in my appearance.”

One of the tragedies of our age is how many people, in the name of preserving beauty, actually disfigure themselves with cosmetic procedures. What begins as a minor touch-up often snowballs into an endless quest to keep the beauty of youth. Faces get pulled too tight, Botox freezes faces, and bodies begin to look more plastic than human. The irony is painful. In trying to fight the signs of aging, many (men and women) end up advertising their decay all the more dramatically.

This is not just an aesthetic problem, but a spiritual one. Our bodies should tell the truth about the various seasons of life. To try and utterly erase the signs of aging is not only impossible, but is, in some sense, an attempt to silence the story God is writing in your flesh. And when we push too far, the results become unnatural and sometimes grotesque, because we are resisting something inevitable.

As Christians, we ought not sneer at those who go under the knife or get injections. Behind every procedure is a heart that understandably fears the effects of aging on fallen bodies. Such longings for a body of glory are not inherently wrong, just misdirected. The gospel tells us that the answer to our decay is not to cling desperately to our fading youth, but to fix our hope on the imperishable beauty that God promises: the unfading crown of glory, the resurrected body that will never wrinkle or sag, the beauty of Christ Himself shining through us.

So, while the world runs headlong into a grotesque parody of youth, we are invited into something far better: honesty about our body’s decline, and hope in the body’s renewal.

Aging gracefully doesn’t mean neglecting your body, nor does it mean idolizing youth. It means wearing your years with dignity, using your body in service, and letting your life testify that Christ is your treasure, not your reflection in the mirror.

Reflection Questions:

  1. When you think about the ways people try to preserve youth through cosmetic procedures, what emotions or thoughts come to mind: sympathy, sadness, critique, temptation, or something else?
  2. How does Scripture’s vision of aging with dignity and hope challenge the cultural obsession with appearing forever young?
  3. In what practical ways can you begin to embrace the beauty of God’s design for aging, and how might that help you bear witness to a better hope in Christ?

5 Groaning Toward Glory

Getting older comes with a soundtrack: groaning. You hear it more loudly and often as you get older. It just happens. Groaning is the body’s way of saying, “I’m not what I used to be, but I’m going to keep moving.”

And yet, the Bible tells us that groaning is more than a symptom of age, it’s also spiritual in nature. Paul writes in Romans 8:22–23: “We know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.”

And again in 2 Corinthians 5:2: “For in this tent we groan, longing to put on our heavenly dwelling.” Paul’s point is clear: the aches and groans of life are reminders of our broken condition, and a guttural longing for what is coming. Every groan should remind us: This world is not my home, and this body is not my final body.

The Bible doesn’t sugarcoat this truth. Outwardly, we are wasting away (2 Cor. 4:16). The body that once ran, lifted, danced, and worked so easily begins to slow down, stiffen, and weaken. But decay is not the end of the story. Paul lifts our eyes to glory in 1 Corinthians 15:42–44, writing: “So is it with the resurrection of the dead. What is sown is perishable; what is raised is imperishable. It is sown in dishonor; it is raised in glory. It is sown in weakness; it is raised in power. It is sown a natural body; it is raised a spiritual body.”

Every earthly groan is a reminder that the seed of death is being sown. But God’s Word reminds us that something imperishable, glorious, powerful, and spiritual will grow from that seed. Something perfect. Not less real, but more real. Not less physical, but more fully human. And Paul tells us where this transformation comes from: “the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body…” (Phil. 3:21)

The Christian’s hope is not a disembodied soul floating in the clouds; it’s the resurrected and glorified body living in a redeemed and renewed creation.

So what do we do in the meantime? We groan, not in despair, but in hope. Our groaning is like the groaning of childbirth (Rom. 8:22): full of pain, but also full of anticipation. Every day our bodies remind us that this world is fading, and every day the Spirit within us reminds us that glory is coming. And soon!

So you sigh as you get out of bed feeling stiff and old, you can let that groaning lead to bitterness (“I’m falling apart, and it’s only downhill from here)” or you can let it lead you to hope (“This groan is a sign that I’m closer to glory than I was yesterday.”)

Let’s get practical: How does this knowledge of a future glorified body change the way we live today?

If these bodies are temporary, then it is urgent that we use them to point others to Christ before time runs out. You’re groaning, so get going!

Paul sums it up well in 2 Corinthians 4:16–18: “So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen.”

One day, there will be a final groan-the last breath, the last ache, the last reminder that our body is failing us. For the Christian, that groan is not the end, but the beginning. On the other side of that final groan is glory, renewal, and unending joy in the presence of our Lord. Our groaning will be turned to singing, and we will never run out of breath in that place.

Reflection Questions:

  1. What are some ways you are tempted to measure your worth by outward strength or appearance, and how does the gospel correct that view?
  2. How might embracing weakness as part of God’s design actually deepen your dependence on Him and your usefulness to others?
  3. Who in your life needs encouragement to see aging not as a loss of value but as an opportunity to display God’s power in weakness?

Conclusion: Pressing On with Purpose

Aging gracefully doesn’t happen by accident. It requires intentional, daily habits that are rooted in Christ. The question isn’t just how to deal with aging but how we can embrace this season of life with purpose, faith, and trust in God’s promises. Aging is a process that we navigate through small steps-leaning on God’s Word, speaking to Him in prayer, practicing gratitude, staying connected to His people, and caring for our bodies wisely. These simple actions allow us to finish the race well, not in fear of aging but with the joy of serving Christ through every season of life.

Paul’s words to the Philippians resonate: “I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 3:14). Aging, then, is not something to dread but an opportunity to press forward in our relationship with God, with grace and purpose.

About the Author

Sean is the pastor of 6th Avenue Community Church in Decatur, Alabama. “The Lord saved me from my sins at eighteen and I haven’t looked back since. (Phil 3:14) After serving five years in the military, the Lord led our family to Peru as missionaries, and then brought us back to the United States in 2015. Amber and I have two beautiful children: Patience and Isabella. When I’m not serving the church, I like to CrossFit, do jiu jitsu, read good books, and tell dad jokes.”

#95 Handling Rejection: Strength in God’s Acceptance

#94 Living with Purpose: Finding Your Way

#87 Facing Illness: Hope in a Failing Body

#86 Living Simply: Decluttering Life for God

1 The Balance of Focus and Hard Work

This topic is more nuanced than merely “Do less!” or “Do more!” De-cluttering your own house is not only about getting rid of stuff you no longer need; It’s about making room for the good things that you do need. The picture we get in Scripture of those seeking to follow Jesus in their lives is one of hard work for the Kingdom with simultaneous contentment in the finished work of Christ on their behalf. The discipline of living simply is growing in our ability to say “no” to unhelpful things and say “yes” to the good things of God.

Living a simple life is not about retreating from responsibilities, but rather about simplifying what is important and focusing on what truly matters. This is the balance that we need in order to faithfully follow Christ.

Two helpful passages to hold together as we seek to grow in living simply are 1 Thessalonians 4:11 and 1 Corinthians 15:10. Both passages were written by the Apostle Paul. Together, they give us a framework to aim for in our own lives.

Aspire To Live a Quiet Life

First, consider the exhortation from Paul for living as Christians in 1 Thessalonians 4:1-12. While there is plenty of practical encouragement for us throughout the passage, for our purposes, we are interested particularly in verse 11: “…and to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you…”

In some ways, that sentence sounds like it belongs to a bygone age. Simpler times. And yet these are commands from God’s Word for every Christian today. Let’s consider each of the three commands briefly.

Second, we should aspire to live a simple life. What a fitting exhortation for our day and age! Consider all the ways that our social media era amplifies the “volume” of life. We are told that other people must know every “status” of our lives: where we’ve been, who we were with, what food we ate, what we did, etc. The unholy matrimony of smartphones with a 24-hour news cycle has meant that we are constantly plugged in and available for contact. This has placed a burden on face-to-face, one-on-one relationships (The next time you are getting coffee with a friend, take your phone off the table and see if you don’t have a better conversation.) But further, we have access to every tragedy, every scandal, every breaking news story in real time. The phone in your pocket has given you the ability to hear the screams of the world. You were not meant to shoulder all that pain all at once.

Living simply doesn’t mean you must stick your head in the sand and wall yourself off from the world. In fact, we should aim to be informed citizens who desire to know what is going on around us. After all, there is much to be praying about in such a troubled world. But if you were honest, you could admit that much of your mental clutter comes from the constant dopamine drip of your online life. Our relational “Fear of Missing Out” drives us to constantly remain online lest we miss the next juicy gossip about someone we may or may not even know in real life.

To live a simple lifestyle means we have our eyes on our own cares and concerns. It means we desire to put our own houses in good and proper order. We should be more concerned with the plank in our own eye than the speck in our brother’s (Matt. 7:3-5).

The next command will apply similarly to us today: mind your own affairs. The reality is that we cannot solve all the world’s problems. We cannot address every need. You are not the Savior of the world. By God’s grace, we worship the true Savior. Simple living teaches us to focus on what is in our control and trust God with the rest. If we are to ask how to live a simple life, it begins with aligning our priorities to focus on God’s will, rather than the overwhelming demands of the world. It means intentionally letting go of distractions that pull us away from our God-given responsibilities.

Faithfulness means every day we aim to make Christ-honoring decisions, both in big things and in small, and trust the Lord with the results. We all have specific responsibilities that the Lord has entrusted to us. One area where we accumulate mental clutter is by neglecting the good things God has before us to pursue wrong or sinful things instead. What would Jesus have you do today? Do that as the Holy Spirit leads you, then take the same aim tomorrow. You can’t solve every problem, but you can aim for faithfulness in the things God has set before you.

Finally, we are instructed to work with our hands. As it pertains to our mental lives, this is a command to build up rather than tear down and destroy. As God’s people, we follow Him and seek to build up, create, and unite. The Bible speaks into our cultural moment. In a world that loves to tear down, what better way to push back against the darkness than to build up. Simple faith allows us to focus on the task at hand and find joy in the work God has given us, without being overwhelmed by the pressures of worldly success. Be faithful in relationships and committed in marriage. Have kids, join a local church, start a business, or work to create beautiful things. Christians can enjoy and celebrate the beauty of God’s creation and design. Such is life in the Kingdom of God, and it is a reflection of Biblical simplicity – living with a focus on God’s priorities rather than worldly distractions.

Taken together, these commands give us a picture of quiet faithfulness as a disciple of Christ. We are not the all-knowing, all-powerful Savior of the world… Jesus is! Though we certainly can have concern for brokenness, we should seek to help as we are able and pray for the situations we see and hear about around us. How to live a simple Christian life is a question we must ask ourselves each day. It’s about surrendering the overwhelming complexity of the world and choosing to focus on the simple yet profound teachings of Christ. We ought also to trust that God is sovereign. He has done something about our great need. This leads us to be faithful in the things the Lord has put in our hands, trusting Him with the results. He is the one who bids all who labor and are heavy-laden to come to Him for Rest.

Work Hard, By God’s Grace

Now, consider the message of 1 Corinthians 15. The context is that Paul was writing to defend his work and ministry against those who were seeking to discredit him. In verse 3, he reminds us of what is most important to our faith: that Jesus Christ died, was buried, and was raised in accordance with the Scriptures. The Risen Christ then appeared to several of his followers. He appeared to Paul “last of all”, as Paul was not an original follower of Christ but was instead “untimely born.” Paul says he is the least of the apostles because he persecuted the church of God before his conversion. Now look at verse 10. Despite the apparent weakness and deficiency of Paul’s spiritual resume, he holds up the grace of God upon his life that spurred him on in life and ministry: “But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me.”

Paul is obviously a huge proponent of God’s free grace and mercy. And yet it is that very notion of grace that drives him on to “work harder” than any of the other apostles for the sake of Christ and his Kingdom. Consider what this teaches us about work and productivity. Living simply does not mean that we retire to a cabin by the lake and await our Lord’s Second Coming. Rather, grace spurs us on to work hard for Christ and his Kingdom. It urges us to narrow our priorities and simplify our mission to align with the commands of Christ rather than our own personal desires.

Paul is working as hard as he possibly can, by the Spirit’s power, because his singular desire is the name and fame of Jesus Christ, his Savior. Perhaps we feel like we have too much on our plates because we are divided in our devotion to Christ on the one hand, and our own kingdoms on the other. That certainly brings many more concerns to the mix. Simple living helps us to focus on what matters most-our relationship with Christ-so we can free ourselves from the unnecessary burdens of worldly distractions.

Paul’s example is instructive on this point. Because he had been so deeply impacted and changed by God’s grace, he was able to fearlessly face the life God had for him. He had such freedom, peace, and confidence, come what may, because he was secure in Christ. Simple living enables us to embrace that same peace, focusing on the eternal rather than the temporary, trusting that God will guide us through each challenge.

Take a few moments and consider what your life would be like if you believed that everything God has promised you is true. If you were safe and secure in Christ forever, how would that give you the boldness to face tomorrow’s challenges? If you believed that the moment you closed your eyes for the last time on earth, you would wake up in the New Heavens and the New Earth, how would that impact your values? Your decisions? Your relationships?

Reflection Questions:

  1. Do you tend to be lazy or an overachiever? What would God’s Word say to someone struggling in either direction? 
  2. How does the combination of 1 Thessalonians 4:11 and 1 Corinthians 15:10 help us understand the value of focused, simple living as Christians? How does God’s Truth lead you to “narrow” your focus in your own life? 
  3. What other scripture passages and promises come to mind to inform our thinking on this topic? 

2 The Root of Simplicity

At this point, we should pause and take stock of our own lives. What are the things that are vying for your time, effort, and mental energy? If you said “yes” to every request made of you or all the things you yourself wanted to pursue, how much extra time in your day would that require?

Further, what do you spend most of your time thinking about? When your mind wanders, what does it focus on? Those things are part of this equation as well. There are times when small problems or concerns consume disproportionately large amounts of our mental capacity. That puts strain on the other concerns we are carrying.

We experience this in a time and culture that repeatedly tells us we need to do more, be better, and produce more. We are judged and evaluated based on what we can do and how much we can achieve. Simple living offers us a different approach: it helps us declutter our minds by focusing on the essentials, freeing us from the pressure to constantly do more and be more.

The gospel antidote to our market-driven culture is the truth that we are loved, forgiven, accepted, and saved by the finished work of Jesus Christ alone. When Jesus said, “It is finished,” he meant it! Consider what that amazing truth means for your life (and not only for your eternal destiny but even your present life right now). Apart from Christ, we are aimless in life. It’s easy to accumulate loads of mental “stuff” if you aren’t secure in your future, let alone the present. Like the father who keeps a garage full of random items just in case he might need that perfect piece of wood someday… if you are not secure in Christ, you will try to hold on to more than you can handle. Simple living teaches us that we can let go of the excess, finding peace in what truly matters. Apart from Jesus, we cannot have confidence in this life.

So what is a simple life? It is not about removing everything, but about focusing on the things that bring us closer to God. By embracing simple living, we align ourselves with the heart of the gospel: freeing ourselves from unnecessary distractions and focusing on the eternal promises of Christ.

Compare that problematic situation to the rock-solid trust a Christian can have in their daily life. Because our future is secure in Christ, and we no longer seek to earn our acceptance before God or pay Him back for what He’s given us, we can focus on the things in life that matter. That’s certainly easier said than done. But when we think about living simply for God, it means we have thrown out the low-value, high-energy-cost features of our lives, and can instead invest more heavily in the eternal, spiritual things that God has for us.

Satisfaction

One of the gifts God gives to His people is a settled confidence in who we are before Him. Instead of being tossed every direction by the winds of culture and circumstance, we can have rooted confidence in what Jesus has done for us. That’s what we mean by being satisfied in Christ. Simple living is a key to finding that settled confidence, as it helps us focus on the eternal truths that bring peace and clarity to our lives.

Consider all the ways you’ve been dissatisfied in your life: frustrations with work, family, or relationships. The essence of the “mid-life crisis” is that people reach a certain point in their lives and realize it hasn’t gone the way that they imagined. When our hopes are stored up in the fragile things of this world, it’s easy to become frustrated when those people and things invariably let us down and disappoint us.

Trusting in Christ calls us out from the rat-races of the world. Before Jesus, we all need certain things from the people around us: acceptance, security, love, etc. In Christ, we gain all those things that our souls long for. That, in turn, brings great freedom to our lives. Previously, you might have been approaching relationships with a subconscious need to be accepted. Once you accept Christ, you will begin to approach friendships in a much freer way. Instead of needing love and security from your spouse, you can find that in Jesus, your Savior. And then any love and security your spouse can give you is a blessing on top of what you already have in Jesus. Simple living helps us let go of the unnecessary pressures of seeking validation and acceptance from others, allowing us to live in the freedom of Christ’s love.

Another word for this reality is the word contentment. It means we are at ease. We are put together. Settled. It’s an amazing gift that Christ gives to his people.

Grab a Bible and take a few minutes to read and consider Isaiah 7. Israel was at war, and their enemies had joined forces against it. In verse 2, we read that, “the heart of his people shook as the trees of the forest shake before the wind.” Fear. Confusion. Worry about an unknown future. God speaks to reassure and remind His people that it does not matter who is on the other side of the battle lines. What makes the difference is whether or not we have trusted in God. He is what makes the difference. At the end of God’s speech in verse 9, He reminds His people, “If you are not firm in faith, you will not be firm at all.”

Consider the contrast. When we are not content in God, our souls shake like trees in the wind, being tossed to and fro by the strong winds of change. But for the one in Christ, you can be firm in Him. Simple living encourages us to rest in that firm foundation, free from the chaos and confusion that the world throws at us.

Puritan Jeremiah Burroughs wrote a classic treatise on the topic called “The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment.” He writes, “Christian contentment is that sweet, inward, quiet, gracious frame of spirit, which freely submits to and delights in God’s wise and fatherly disposition in every condition.” A Christian can stand firm in Christ, through faith, come what may, because we have a settled contentment and satisfaction in and through Jesus Christ our Lord.

If our cluttered minds come about in part because of a general discontentment with our lives, how amazing it is that we can be firm because of Jesus. The Lord, in His wisdom and kindness, gives and takes away, and for those in Christ, we can trust that God’s fatherly disposition towards us has not changed despite our present circumstances.

This is where “Christian minimalism” truly shines. By simplifying life and focusing on Christ, we can eliminate distractions and experience the fullness of contentment in Him. Simplifying life in this way leads us to focus on what is eternal, not the temporary things that can overwhelm us.

Rest, Anxiety, and Human Limits

Psychological studies are beginning to show what we all instinctively know and what the Bible has told us for thousands of years-the human body needs rest. When we press on and continue to work without stopping, it not only wears us out, but the quality of our work also begins to diminish. Much of the complexity in our lives stems from sheer exhaustion due to being over-extended. We are finite creatures, and our Creator has told us that we should rest from our labors. Notice again the balance here. We ought to work diligently at the tasks God has for us. We must also take time, specifically one day a week, to rest from that work. The Lord’s Day is meant to remind us of the greatness of our Savior. That’s why we worship Him as His people.

Another overlooked but deeply practical tool that the Lord has given us towards this end is sleep. When you are troubled in life, one of the first questions you should consider is whether you are sleeping enough. Hebrews 4 promises us that there yet remains an eternal Sabbath Rest for the people of God, to be ushered in by Jesus Christ, our Great High Priest. We can rest today, in Christ, as a foretaste of that Heavenly Rest that is yet to come. The more we keep our eyes on Jesus and focus on the things of God, the less we will turn to the troubles and concerns of the world that we are powerless to fix.

God commands His people to pursue the rest they were created for, not merely because our work is done. We see that even in Jesus’ own life and earthly ministry. In Mark 6:31, we read, “And He said to them, ‘Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while.’ For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat.” That’s a picture of Jesus prioritizing rest and focus to more effectively pursue His mission. Being too busy to rest and honor the Lord’s Day is a big clue that your life is too noisy and cluttered to be effective in ministry. Though we worship a God that never tires or sleeps, we do need those things.

In Matthew 6:25-34, in the midst of the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus teaches His people not to be anxious. That’s the first time we’ve used that word in this life skill guide, but what a good word for the clutter in our minds. We become anxious when our concerns grow beyond the immediate and concrete to extend to the realm of hypothetical possibilities. Jesus tells His people, “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”

Consider what Paul writes in Philippians 4:6-7, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

How refreshing that the peace of God, which surpasses understanding, can guard our hearts and minds against the noise of our lives. When we rest in Jesus, it causes us to focus on Him. It reminds us that though we have trials and troubles in this world, not every problem is an emergency. Some problems require our immediate attention today, but many of the things that take up space in our minds are problems “for tomorrow.” That isn’t mere procrastination. It’s the truth that many conversations, emails, phone calls, or household chores can wait until you can give them their due attention.

If decluttering that closet in the basement is about making room and organizing so that you have a better handle on the space, simplifying your life for God means having a clear understanding of what is urgent and important now, versus what can be just as easily dealt with down the road. It means being content in Christ, so that we can rest in Him.

Reflection Questions:

  1. What areas of your life are unsettled/restless? Does contentment in Christ seem like a foreign concept to you? What would it be like if you were satisfied in the finished work of Christ? 
  2. What do you “need” from various relationships in your life? What do you do when those people aren’t able to deliver in those areas? 
  3. What does rest look like in your life? Is Sunday a day of chaos or rest? What practical changes could you make to honor the command of Christ while also taking real rest from your labors? 
  4. What are you anxious about right now? Which of those things need immediate attention, and which ones can wait? What disciplines could you employ to spread out your workload in a more organized way rather than having everything on your desk at once?

3 The Fruit of Simplicity

Much of our work up to this point has been about clearing out space and spreading out our workloads. One keyword for this skill guide is the word “focus.” We make room in our minds and our lives for the good things of God. In this section, we’ll return to Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 6 to focus on what we should be seeking in life. Simplicity brings clarity.

Seek First the Kingdom of God

Look again at Matthew 6:25-33. This is Jesus teaching his disciples not to be anxious. We previously discussed the negative side of the command, “Don’t be anxious…” There is a positive element as well. In verses 31-33, Jesus says, “Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

“Gentiles” is the stand-in term for unbelievers here. They were seeking solutions to their physical problems in the present world. They were concerned only with immediate needs. It’s a cluttered life. It’s not that questions of what we’ll eat or what we’ll wear don’t matter. Your Heavenly Father knows that you need these things already, and He provides for His people. Those questions are going to get sorted out. Instead, Jesus calls us to seek FIRST the Kingdom of God and His righteousness. The result is that “all these things will be added to you.” That is, the lower-tier concerns will take care of themselves when our focus is on more important things.

What is a simple life? A life focused on seeking God’s Kingdom first, rather than the endless demands of the world. Living simply allows us to prioritize what truly matters, avoiding unnecessary distractions.

It’s like the story of Peter walking on the water in Matthew 14. When Peter’s gaze is on his Savior, he walks on the water by the power of Jesus. It is only when he looks down and wonders about his own performance that he begins to sink. If our focus is so limited that we are constantly evaluating how we are doing (Are we enough? Have we done enough?), then we will be troubled. But if our eyes are fixed on Jesus, then we can lay aside every weight and actually run the race set before us (Heb. 12:2).

It’s easy enough to say that we are seeking the Kingdom of God first in our lives. Actually doing it can be difficult in practice. But such is the life of faith. You can look at a chair and talk all you want about its ability to hold you up. You can cite its factory information about weight capacity or the metal it was made with. You haven’t trusted it until you sit down and put your weight on the chair. Genuine belief must give way to action.

We should seek first the Kingdom of God, not just by way of our words, but with our actions, our thoughts, and our affections. That crucial mark of a simple Christian then allows us to properly order the other facets of our lives.

Ask What Is Most Important

The Biblical story of Mary and Martha is instructive for us as we seek to prioritize our lives. This comes from Luke 10:

Now, as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to His teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to Him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:38-42).

Another picture of a cluttered life, “…you are anxious and troubled about many things.” Martha’s concerns may have been good. But she wasn’t able to prioritize and focus on what was most important, which was being with Jesus. Martha was so busy with life’s tasks that she was distracted from the person she desperately needed to hear from and be with.

This story resonates with us because we all want to be like Mary, but so often we feel like Martha.

The list goes on and on. We don’t know how the story would have played out if Martha had been like Mary from the start. She certainly would have been less distracted and anxious. I imagine the chores would have still gotten done. Perhaps Jesus would have even offered to help.

When we are so focused on the immediate, our time can be consumed, leaving us unable to consider longer-lasting things. Jesus is long-lasting. He is eternal. That means we must prioritize our relationship with Him. As Isaiah wrote, “Seek the LORD while He may be found; call on Him while He is near.” (Isa. 55:6)

Identify Idols

The Bible uses the term “idol” for anything besides God that we treat as a god. We don’t typically use that language ourselves, but our lives and our affections tell the story of what we functionally worship. Few would outright say that they worship their jobs or their children, but their lives say they do.

Many of the things that clutter our lives are “good” things. But when we give them undue weight and significance, they end up taking up more space than they deserve. Your job is a gift from God. Your family is a gift from God. Your children, your spouse, your friends, etc., are gifts from God. We should understand our responsibility to each of those areas of life. Part of that equation is understanding that our primary responsibility is to worship God Himself and not others.

Consider the words of Jesus in Luke 8:19-21, “Then His mother and His brothers came to Him, but they could not reach Him because of the crowd. And He was told, ‘Your mother and your brothers are standing outside, desiring to see you.’ But He answered them, ‘My mother and My brothers are those who hear the word of God and do it.’”

Jesus is not being cruel or uncaring towards His earthly family. He is showing us that His primary devotion is to God, followed by “those who hear the word of God and do it,” and finally to His earthly family members. If He had given priority to His brothers in this situation, it would have mixed up God’s design. Jesus certainly cared for them, but He had a higher connection to those who would be united to Him by faith. (No doubt these early interactions with His brothers became part of their testimonies as they later understood what it meant to trust in Jesus as Lord and follow Him as eternal, spiritual brothers.)

When we treat the good things in our lives as gods, it confuses us, clutters our minds, and puts a burden on the people around us that they cannot fulfill. We honor God and can better love and serve the people around us when we prioritize God first.

Decluttering your life will mean clearing the idols off the shelves so that you can worship and follow the One True God. Spiritual simplicity calls us to place God above all else and live in a way that is uncluttered by unnecessary distractions.

Reflection Questions:

  1. How are you seeking first the Kingdom of God in your life? Are there areas of your life that are unaffected by the Gospel of Jesus? What would it look like to submit that area of your life to Jesus? 
  2. In what ways are you focused on your own performance instead of living in response to God’s grace? What could you change to worry less about “how you are doing” and instead rest in the finished work of Christ? What difference would that make? 
  3. What “idols” or counterfeit gods are vying for your affections and worship? How do those things clutter your life? What would it look like for you to throw them out? 

4 Practicing Simplicity

What are the kinds of things we seek to remove as we declutter our lives to live for God? This final section seeks to start you down several practical paths to think upon in order to give various elements of your life their proper weight and attention. The call to simple living is not just about removing clutter; it’s about creating space for what truly matters in life and faith.

Consider What You Are Specifically Responsible For

Certain tasks in life are general and anyone can do them. There are other things in your life that only you can accomplish. They are your unique responsibility. You are your child’s parent. You are your spouse’s only spouse. If you have a job, that job comes with certain responsibilities that you personally are expected to perform.

Consider again the helpful metaphor of how household chores illustrate decluttering our very lives. There are a number of things that must be regularly taken care of around your home or apartment. Who is responsible for each of those things? Very rarely can one person do everything that is required to maintain their home. Instead, there is a delegation of labor, with different people each responsible for their area, and if everyone does their job, it all gets done.

Now apply that to your life. What are the things that you specifically are being asked to do by your spouse, by your employer, or by God? You should seek to do those things faithfully. Then you can look around to see where else you may be able to help. If you try to take on more than you are able, likely, you will not be able to complete the tasks at all, or if you can, the quality of your work will suffer because you are overextended. This is where simplifying lifebecomes key. By focusing on your primary responsibilities, you make space for living a simple Christian life that aligns with God’s priorities.

Living simply means being mindful of what we truly need versus what the world says we need. Minimalist livingencourages us to prioritize and focus on what adds value to our lives.

Pull out your Bible and consider Jesus’ parable of the talents from Matthew 25:14-30. The men with five and two talents used what they had been given and were responsible for them. They produced more based on what they received. The man who only received one talent hid it away and produced nothing. He was fearful, not only of his master, but also at the prospect of losing what little he had been entrusted with. The master says, “Well done, good and faithful servant!” to the first two men who stewarded their gifts well. But the master calls the third man wicked and slothful and takes away his single talent anyway.

God has entrusted each of us with various gifts and responsibilities. Our job is not to question Him, challenge Him, or even to ask for more… but to be faithful with what we’ve been given. Knowing that we are where God desires us to be, doing what God desires us to do, brings great comfort and peace to our lives. This is the essence of Christian simplicity-finding peace in doing the tasks God has assigned to us, without unnecessary distractions or worry.

You are not responsible before the Lord for the choices of the people around you. You are responsible for what God has given specifically to you. Therefore, it’s important to assess what those specific responsibilities are, and then to ask how you might honor Christ in those various callings. Simplicity as a spiritual discipline means making space for what truly matters, both in work and in worship.

The Productivity Matrix

One tool we can use to help bring focus to our lives is to consider whether something is urgent or not, or important or not. That creates a 2×2 grid, and we can approach each quadrant with different strategies.

Take some time, get a piece of paper and a pen, and work out this matrix for yourself. You can fill it with specific tasks and even general responsibilities. The goal is to arrange your calendar and thought life to spend less time on the Not Urgent/Not Important category, allowing most of your effort to focus on the Urgent/Important stuff.

The biblical definition of simplicity emphasizes the importance of seeking God’s will in the everyday tasks of life. In fact, minimalism and Christianity go hand in hand when we clear away distractions and focus on God’s priorities. By simplifying our lives, we align ourselves more closely with His purpose, shedding unnecessary burdens and allowing our hearts and minds to be fully devoted to what truly matters in His Kingdom.

Generous Living as a Response to God’s Grace

Remember the point of cleaning out that closet in the basement? The impetus for the work often lies in the fact that you are creating space for other things. Decluttering our lives is about making space for God and godly living. When we focus our priorities on the things that truly matter, it creates space to love, serve, and give like never before. Consider how everything we’ve talked about up to this point gives way to generous living as a response to God’s grace.

If you are satisfied in Christ, you are no longer compelled to “take” from the people around you. Instead, you are free to ask, “What do you need?” or “How can I help?” It allows you to be thankful for everything you have from your Heavenly Father’s hand, which creates a giving spirit within you. You can be open-handed with your time, your talent, and your treasure. All of that is a gift from God, by His grace. It gives you the space to faithfully give your best effort when you can say “Yes.” It also allows you to know your limits in time and ability, such that you don’t feel guilty when you say “No.”

When our lives are cluttered, we might be unsure of what is truly important. Perhaps you should hold onto everything equally because you are unsure of what is valuable. When you trust in Christ and give Him the priority in your life, it allows you to view everything else as secondary. That loosens your grip on the fading things of the world. They might be good things. You might enjoy them as the gifts they are. But if the Lord would take them away or give them to someone else, you will be untroubled with that because you are content in Christ.

This is what Jesus says in Luke 6:32-36 during His “Sermon on the Plain”- “If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for He is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.”

This is the generous way of Christ. God is simple. He will repay everyone for their deeds. When we are free in Christ, it opens us up to love and to give out of the abundance of what Christ has given to us. It is a deeply Christian simplicity to love your enemies and do good to them; to lend, expecting nothing in return. The words of Jesus make no sense to an unbelieving world that is out for itself first and foremost. For those who know Jesus’ love and grace, they now stand on a firm foundation forever accepted by God and welcomed into His family forever.

A decluttered life gives you space and freedom in which you can give to others the time, talent, and treasures that you no longer need to serve yourself. That generosity shines the light of the Gospel throughout the darkness of our world.

Reflection Questions:

  1. What are the most important things in your life that you are specifically responsible for? Do you give enough time and thought to faithfully carry out those responsibilities? What are you neglecting and why? 
  2. Having spent some time with the Productivity Matrix, what surprised you about the exercise? What are some things you can delegate or remove from your weekly schedule and responsibilities? 
  3. Are you able to live generously not only with your money, but even with your time and the gifts God has given you? What worries or hindrances keep you from being generous in your daily life?

Conclusion

If you have ever helped your grandparents or an elderly church member move, you know that we can acquire so much over the course of time. We are often surprised by that box in the closet that hasn’t been opened in decades, and we’re unsure of what is even in it anymore.

The same is true in our lives. We naturally acquire tasks, burdens, stressors, and cares just by virtue of living our lives. We have a web of relationships, responsibilities, and dreams we hope to accomplish. We might be trying to do too much, trying to accomplish more than we are able, or trying to spin too many plates at once. We have referred to this as “clutter.” If we desire to honor God, to know him and make him known, then we must be focused on him. This life skill guide certainly has practical help and life advice. But its purpose has not been merely to increase your personal happiness, or even because “simplicity” is all the rage in our culture. We should do this because we want to worship and follow Jesus. Like Mary, we should desire what is best, to know and be known by Jesus our Lord, and to follow Him in our lives.

Jeremiah Burroughs wrote, “If you would get a contented life, do not grasp too much of the world, do not take in more of the business of the world than God calls you to.” That’s certainly easier said than done! But by God’s grace, he calls us into a life of peace, contentment, and satisfaction with Him. When you work to simplify your life for the sake of Christ, it frees you up to faithfully do all that he has called you to do.

About the Author

Mason and Valerie have two children, Judah and Eliza. Mason is a graduate of Waverly High School and The Ohio State University. He has a Master of Divinity from Westminster Theological Seminary in pastoral ministry. Mason is passionate about discipleship and the local church and looks forward to a lifetime of ministry.

#85 Wire Risk-taking: Faith Over Fear

#84 Breaking Habits: Small Steps to Big Change

#77 How to Handle Criticism – Growing Through Feedback

Part 1: Expect Criticism

Praemonitus, praemunitus. If your Latin is a bit rusty, that means, “To be forewarned is to be forearmed.” The phrase originates from 16th-century UK military warfare. But it’s a phrase that also rings true for other areas of our lives, including the grenades of critique that will fly our way.

The point is-without adopting a posture of continual defensiveness-we can prepare our hearts to receive and give criticism. The first step in being prepared is to consider where criticism comes from and to trace its biblical roots. Understanding how to handle criticism before it arrives helps us respond with wisdom instead of surprise.

Now, at the outset, we need to recognise that the word criticism is not actually in the Bible. However, criticism in the Bible appears through related concepts. Scripture has a lot to say about the idea of constructive criticism, which it refers to using terms like “rebuke” and “correction.” Meanwhile, ungodly responses-such as “grumbling” and “complaining”-stand in for destructive critique. These themes give us a framework for what we might call biblical criticism, helping us discern godly correction from sinful fault-finding. Throughout Scripture, we also see numerous examples of both types of critique, which serve as a form of lived theology more than formal definition.

And while scholars later identified categories such as the four types of biblical criticism (historical, literary, form, and redaction criticism), for our purposes, it is more practical to observe how God’s people model correction, accountability, and rebuke. When godly critique appears in Scripture, it often carries the essence of constructive criticism-spoken for growth, repentance, and spiritual maturity.

But let’s first see where criticism comes from, its root. And to do so takes us right back to the beginning-to the Garden of Eden.

In the beginning, God created all things, and the Bible is clear that God created all things good (Gen. 1:4, 10, 12, 18, 21, 25). God’s creation climaxes in his making the first humans. After creating Adam and Eve, God declared everything to be “very good” (Gen. 1:31). All was well, and there was nothing and no one to criticise. There was nothing that needed improvement or that would be bettered by some extra advice.

And yet that soon changed. The first words of critique came from Satan’s mouth as he tempted Adam and Eve to disobey God. In Genesis 3, Satan gave a (not so) veiled criticism of God’s command to the first couple. Satan sought to criticise God by arguing that he was withholding goodness from Adam and Eve. How was God doing so? By not permitting them to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil: “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

Tragically, Adam and Eve sided with Satan’s critique of God and took and ate the fruit. The moment Adam and Eve disobeyed, sin entered the world. And a world that had only known beauty, goodness, and delight was now subjected to harshness, cruelty, and the possibility of and need for critique. From that point forward, humanity would need to learn how to handle criticism, both received and given, because brokenness guaranteed its existence.

And as we continue in the biblical storyline, it doesn’t take long for criticism to spread. In fact, immediately when God comes to hold Adam to account, Adam criticises Eve (and even God!) in his “defence.” “The man said, ‘The woman you put here with me-she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it’” (Gen. 3:12). This moment offers one of the earliest narrative examples of criticism in the Bible, revealing how sin twists correction, blame, and personal responsibility.

As the Scriptures continue, we also encounter Bible verses about criticism, many of which address rebuke, correction, and accountability (Prov. 27:5; Prov. 9:8; Matt. 18:15; 1 Tim. 5:20). These passages remind us that godly rebuke is a gift, while ungodly criticism is a spiritual danger. Learning the difference allows us to recognise constructive criticismas a pathway to growth.

And ever since Genesis 3, there have been people and things to criticise. And a whole heap of people who have been happy to provide criticism.

Criticism of all sorts, then, finds its source in sin. And that’s worth thinking more deeply about. So, let’s just double-click on that truth for a moment.

We should expect criticism because we are sinful, and because every human relationship is affected by brokenness. But through biblical wisdom, maturity, and awareness, we can develop discernment in how to handle criticism-whether constructive, destructive, godly, or ungodly.

First, we see that we should expect criticism because we are sinful. Sin’s entrance into the world wasn’t an isolated event. It didn’t only affect one family. It has impacted us all. Sin is where we fail to live by God’s standards. It includes the good that we should do but don’t, and the wrong that we shouldn’t do, but still do in a spirit of rebellion to God.

God asks us to love him with our heart, soul, strength, and mind and love others as ourselves (Matt. 22:37-39). Yet when we are honest with ourselves, we know that we do not obey what God requires of us. And that means we can rightly be criticised for a whole manner of things. In and of ourselves, we are flawed, and so are the things we do. This reality is what makes learning how to handle criticism a necessary life skill for Christians.

Now, all of us should be willing to admit our sinfulness. The problem is that sin deceives. We are often blind to our own sin, and so we don’t always see the ways in which we harm others. This dynamic is expressed in Proverbs 12:15, which reminds us that “the way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.” Developing humility helps us learn how to take criticism instead of reacting defensively.

Furthermore, it’s not just that we have the issue of our intentional sin, which leaves us open to critique, but also the unintentional consequences of our natural human limitations. In other words, we can do or say the right thing, even with right intentions, but still cause accidental harm to others. And so, even with good motives, we can still be legitimately criticised. Some people struggle because they can’t take criticism, but Scripture calls us to receive correction wisely, even when it is uncomfortable.

No wonder, then, Paul commands us to consider ourselves with sober judgment (Rom. 12:3). This posture is emphasized several times in the book of Proverbs. Proverbs 12:1 says, “Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but whoever hates correction is stupid” and Proverbs 15:31-32 says, “Whoever heeds life-giving correction will be at home among the wise. Those who disregard discipline despise themselves, but the one who heeds correction gains understanding.” These verses remind us that learning how to handle criticism is part of maturing in wisdom.

Criticism comes our way because of our sin and our natural limitations.

We should expect criticism because others are sinful

We are not only affected by the sin that comes from within our own hearts, but our hearts are also deeply affected by the sin committed against us. So yes, we should expect criticism because we are sinful, but we should also expect criticism because others are also sinful.

Criticism can be fired from ungodly lips. It can pour out as an overflow of hearts that are full of jealousy, envy, and greed. Hurt people often seek to hurt people. And so, we shouldn’t be surprised that the words we sometimes hear from others are not sincere attempts to help or correct, but words that seek to take down and wound. Understanding this helps us in handling criticism without internalizing every harsh word.

Jesus himself faced this kind of criticism. Remember that Jesus never did anything wrong. He always loved God and always loved his neighbour. Nothing he ever did or said was worthy of criticism. And yet, throughout his life, Jesus was never far from the harsh and cutting words of others as they commented on his life and work. We read in Luke 5:

Then Levi held a great banquet for Jesus at his house, and a large crowd of tax collectors and others were eating with them. But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law who belonged to their sect complained to his disciples, “Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and sinners?” Luke 5:29-32

In this scene, Jesus was doing something right-reaching out to the outcasts and showing mercy-but though masquerading as a question, he was criticised by the Pharisees and teachers of the law for spending time with “the wrong people.” And when we read the New Testament, we see this wasn’t an isolated incident. Jesus gives us a model for dealing with criticism: he responds without retaliation and entrusts himself to God.

If Jesus was criticised, then we should not be surprised when we are too.  And as followers of Jesus, we should expect greater criticism from the world. Listen to Jesus’s words in John 15:

If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. John 15:18-19.

In other words, there’s another reason why we might face criticism. Because we follow Jesus. The world hates Jesus, and we live for him. People won’t like it when our lives reflect the Lord Jesus and when we seek to speak his truth in his name. As the Apostle Paul said, “In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.”

So, we’ve seen that the presence of sin in this world and indeed within the human heart is the source of criticism; that against us, and indeed from us. When we ask “how do you take criticism?” Scripture directs us toward humility, patience, and trust in God.

The gospel and criticism.

But praise God, because of the gospel, we know that sin doesn’t have the last word. We know that Jesus Christ came to die for sin—the great cause of all criticism.

Even when he was on the cross, accomplishing salvation for all who believe, Jesus faced the critique of sinners, who he was in the act of dying for. Those who saw him hanging on the cross sneered at him. They spat at him. And yet as he hung there, he was dying for the sin of all who would trust in him. Here’s how Peter puts it and draws out implications for us today:

To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps. ‘He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth.’ When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. ‘He himself bore our sins’ in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; ‘by his wounds you have been healed.’ For ‘you were like sheep going astray,’ but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls. 1 Peter 2:22-25.

We see in these words a sea of grace and hope in the face of criticism. Our hope for all the criticism we have received and deserved, and the words of critique we have uttered, is found in the gospel. As Peter says in verse 24, Jesus bore our sins in his body on the cross so that we can be forgiven and cleansed of our sin.

Although we give God every reason to disapprove of the way we live our lives, his precious Son carried our mistakes to the cross. As the Lord Jesus hung on the cross, he didn’t just hear the insults and criticism of the crowd; he faced the right and settled judgment of God. Why? So that we can be forgiven and healed of our sin, and that we can be restored to a living relationship with God, the Shepherd and Overseer of our souls.

And so, the gospel both assesses our hearts accurately, finding us flawed and marred by sin, but instead of condemning us, in Jesus, God lavishes his grace on us. He sees all our sin and yet in love has sent his son to redeem us and rescue us. He has rescued us from the harsh and unloving words we have spoken. He has rescued us from the overflow of bitterness, greed, and envy that comes out of our own mouths.

And this means that our failures and sins don’t define us. They don’t have the last word; Jesus does. Our lives are hidden with Christ in God, and our identity in him is more central to who we are than the things we do or say.

And in Jesus, God is making us new. God can even redeem cutting words and help them to be used for our good. And he can redeem harsh, cutting lips to change them into constructive tools to fashion the image of his Son in us by the power of his Spirit. The gospel helps us with handling criticism, giving us courage, tenderness, and wisdom rather than insecurity or fear of constant criticism.

So, we’ve seen the background to criticism. And we’ve seen how criticism can stem from sin in us or sin in others.

With that foundation in place, we now ask — so how are we to respond to criticism? That’s where we head next.

—

Reflection Questions:

  1. In what ways does understanding that criticism ultimately stems from sin (ours or others) change how you view both giving and receiving it?
  2. The gospel both exposes our sin and offers healing from it. How might this truth free us from defensiveness when we are corrected or confronted?

—

Part 2: We Should Discern Different Types of Criticism

My family lived in the US for three years for seminary before returning to our native England. Our time in the US was a cultural experience to remember, not least for living in a country where there are animals that can kill you with one bite! One sunny morning, I opened the front door to find a snake on our porch taking in some rays. Once I got over the shock, I sought to work out whether this was a harmless milk snake or a poisonous copperhead (why do they need to look so similar?!). For me, it took a while (and a Google search) to discern that this was the harmless sort, but no doubt for the experienced eye, it was easy to determine which was which. Knowing the difference, though, was crucial in order to know how to respond—whether to run or stay!

Like snakes, criticism comes in different forms, and we need to learn to discern which ones we are facing.

Before we think about how to handle criticism, it is essential to pause and identify whether what we are receiving is godly or ungodly. Many believers struggle not because they don’t know how to handle criticism overall, but because they have never slowed down to ask a basic question: how do you handle criticism when you are still unsure which kind it is? Discernment must come first, because clarity helps us respond with greater wisdom, peace, and humility.

To help us distinguish these types of criticism, let’s see some places where they show up in the Bible.

First, let’s consider two examples of godly criticism or correction. The first is the prophet Nathan challenging King David after he had sinned greatly. The true story in the Bible is found in 2 Samuel 12.

King David committed grave a sexual sin and then attempted to cover it up which resulted in him breaking most of the Ten Commandments. David was then confronted by the prophet Nathan. Now Nathan doesn’t come at David straight on; he wisely tells a story to open David’s eyes to the seriousness of his sin. And it works. Nathan’s confrontation with David leads to David’s repentance, as he declares after Nathan’s confrontation, “I have sinned against the Lord” (2 Sam. 12:13).

David’s repentance led to God immediately forgiving him (what grace!). However, earthly consequences remain for David and his family because of his sin. For our purposes here, though, we see Nathan giving David godly correction, which leads to repentance and forgiveness. He accurately spoke the truth to David, and he was restored.

A second example of godly criticism is Paul correcting Peter in Galatia. In Galatians 2, we read how Peter feared human opinion and therefore withdrew from table fellowship with other Christians. Paul realised that this wasn’t a trivial issue of who you sat next to over lunch. No, it was behaviour that undermined the fundamentals of the gospel (Gal. 2:14). And so, Paul “opposed Pete to his face” (Gal 2:11). Here was godly criticism and it was public (Gal 2:14). Paul challenged Peter’s actions and the implication from the letter (and the rest of the Bible) is that Peter accepted the correction from Paul and the integrity of the gospel was upheld.

We have here two examples of godly correction (one private, one public) from one believer to another regarding ways in which they were not acting in line with their profession of faith. The correction in both cases was driven by love for the person, sought to honour God, and uphold the truth of His word. The corrections were clear, specific, and intended to help a brother follow God more closely.

And this kind of correction and criticism is life-giving. Proverbs 27:5-6 says, “Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.”

And yet we also have examples in the Bible of ungodly criticism. One example of this is the Sons of Korah in Numbers 16.

In this story, we see a rebellion against Moses and Aaron during the Israelite’s wandering in the wilderness. In Numbers 16, Korah, along with others, challenged Moses and Aaron’s authority. Their words were highly critical of Moses,

Then Moses summoned Dathan and Abiram, the sons of Eliab. But they said, ‘We will not come! Isn’t it enough that you have brought us up out of a land flowing with milk and honey to kill us in the wilderness? And now you also want to lord it over us!Moreover, you haven’t brought us into a land flowing with milk and honey or given us an inheritance of fields and vineyards. Do you want to treat these men like slaves? No, we will not come!’

But their assessment was wrong. For starters, Moses had a clear mandate from God to lead the people, and what’s more, it seems (see Ps. 106:16) that they weren’t motivated by godly concern, but by jealousy and envy. Sadly, their open criticism led to their own destruction, not that of Moses. As chapter 16 goes on to recount, the earth opened and swallowed Korah, Dathan, and Abiram, while fire consumed the 250 men offering incense (Num. 16:31-35).

So, these are the different types of criticism. Godly criticism that leads to repentance and life and ungodly criticism that flows from hard, bitter hearts and leads to destruction. So, when we encounter criticism, one important first step is to discern whether it is godly or ungodly criticism.

Now this is easier said than done! We are not always told which is which! If only the earth would open up to swallow those who give ungodly criticism (though if this were the case, who of us would be left?!).

But whilst it may be hard to discern whether we are receiving godly or ungodly criticism, it is at the very least helpful to have these two categories in our mind. 

But how do we do this?

Well, there is no easy answer to this question! But from the examples above, we can see that there are principles that distinguish godly from ungodly criticism.

Godly criticism seeks to love people and uphold truth, whereas ungodly criticism stems from a place of jealousy and selfish ambition. Godly correction aims to bring one in line with God’s truth, whereas ungodly criticism seeks to undermine and harm others. Often, godly criticism is given in a way that is clear and humble, as opposed to defiant and accusatory.

Here’s a helpful table to consider these characteristics and qualities of the different types of criticism we can encounter.

CategoryGodly CriticismUngodly Criticism
Biblical ExamplesNathan confronting David (2 Sam. 12); Paul correcting Peter (Gal. 2)Korah, Dathan, and Abiram rebelling against Moses (Num. 16)
MotivationLove for the person; honouring God; upholding truthJealousy, pride, rebellion, selfish ambition
Intent / GoalTo lovingly correct sin and restore relationship with GodTo undermine, harm, or discredit others; self-promotion
Tone and MannerHumble, clear, specific, (sometimes private, sometimes public)Disrespectful, accusatory, defiant
FocusBehaviour inconsistent with faith or truthPersonal attack or challenge to God-given authority
Effect / OutcomeLeads to repentance, forgiveness, and spiritual growthLeads to division, judgment, and destruction
Example ResultDavid repented and was forgiven; Peter corrected behaviourKorah’s rebellion led to destruction
Proverbs 27:5–6 Principle“Wounds from a friend can be trusted”—brings life“Enemy multiplies kisses”—brings harm

The assessment may take some time, and we need much wisdom to diagnose whether (and how much of) the words we are hearing fall into each category. But the task is worth doing before the Lord.

Let’s now consider how we can deal with receiving both types of criticism, and then we’ll turn to consider how we can best give godly criticism.

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Reflection Questions:

  1. Why is it important to recognise that not all criticism is the same, and how might that awareness change your initial reaction when someone critiques you?

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Part 3: We Should Welcome and Invite Godly Criticism

The famous Hans Christian Anderson fairytale goes as follows. Once there was an emperor who cared for nothing but his appearance. Two cunning weavers came to him, claiming they could make a suit of clothes so fine that it would be invisible to fools and the unworthy. Eager to prove his wisdom, the emperor paid them handsomely. The weavers wove nothing, yet everyone-ministers, courtiers, even the emperor himself-pretended to see the magnificent fabric, terrified of being thought unfit for their positions. At last, the emperor paraded through the city in his “new clothes,” naked before his people. The crowd, bound by fear and pride, said nothing-until a small child cried out, “But he’s not wearing anything at all!” Only then did truth pierce the illusion.

It’s a cautionary tale about the importance of having people around us who are willing to speak hard truths into our lives. 

Like that emperor, we are tempted to surround ourselves with voices that flatter rather than correct. We crave affirmation, not honesty, and so we walk blind, clothed in delusion. But a godly critique -honest, humble, rooted in love – is like the child’s voice: uncomfortable, yet freeing.

So, having distinguished the different types of criticism that we face, let’s turn to consider our response when we receive them both. And first, we’re going to consider how we should respond to godly criticism, or what the Bible describes as “correction” or “rebuke.”

The headline here is that we should welcome godly criticism. We should seek to surround ourselves with those who fear God more than our approval, for better the sting of truth than the comfort of a lie.

This is the posture that the Bible calls us to adopt. Here’s Solomon in Proverbs 9:

Do not rebuke mockers or they will hate you; rebuke the wise and they will love you. Instruct the wise and they will be wiser still; teach the righteous and they will add to their learning – Proverbs 9:8.

Here we see that wise people are open to godly criticism and indeed love it. The wise person in Proverbs 9 recognises that they are always in need of correction, that there are always ways in which they can grow, and so they welcome critique. The righteous recognise that others have insight that they can learn from. And so, where godliness is offered, it is to be welcomed.

And the Bible says we grow by listening to godly criticism and critique. Again, look at what Proverbs teaches us in chapter 19:20:

Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise.

And again, in Proverbs 13:18:

Whoever disregards discipline comes to poverty and shame, but whoever heeds correction is honoured.

So, from these verses, we see that first we should seek to have hearts that are open to hearing godly correction. And remember the gospel is key here. Being rooted and grounded in the gospel means that we should be more ready to accept godly criticism and approach it with curiosity rather than defensiveness.

With that heart posture in place, how can we welcome and indeed invite godly criticism?  

3 steps for us to follow here:

1) Ask questions

First, we can ask questions about the feedback we receive, and even, if possible, the person correcting. For some readers, criticism is not occasional but relational: for example, someone may feel, “my husband always criticizes me,” and become overwhelmed by constant feedback without clarity. In those situations, asking questions is not merely polite – it is a necessary tool for discernment. It can help you understand whether the criticism reflects genuine areas for growth, or whether it is shaped by stress, misunderstanding, or unresolved conflict.

Being grounded in the gospel gives us an openness to explore and ask good questions of both the criticizer and ourselves. Asking questions of the one critiquing you can help to avoid any misunderstanding. So, questions like,

– Could you provide a specific example of what you’ve identified?
– Are there any other ways you think I need to grow?
– How do you think this issue impacts those around me?

Now, I’m not saying asking these kinds of questions is an easy thing to do. They open us up to further criticism and can leave us feeling vulnerable. However, we must remember that the Bible states, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” And when done with curiosity and kindness, often there is great blessing from this kind of vulnerable question-asking.

Questions like these, asked from a position of gospel security, allow us to move towards greater understanding of ourselves. The answers act like a mirror: they can provide a greater degree of seeing ourselves for who we truly are.

However, we can also ask ourselves questions when we receive feedback like this. Instead of reacting defensively out of pride and seeking to protect our reputation or image, we can be curious about ourselves. And so, we can ask questions of ourselves, such as:

– What is God inviting me to change through this correction?
– What practical steps can I take towards repentance and growth?
– Has this feedback exposed other issues or deeper sin struggles in my life?

These questions are not ones to rush through. I’d suggest taking a good chunk of time and a journal to work through your answers to those questions when criticism comes your way.

In this way, we can respond to godly criticism with curiosity. By doing so, we grow in our understanding of ourselves and towards greater Christlikeness.

Pray

Second, when you receive godly criticism, one godly response is to pray. Prayer is where we can wrestle with God about our lives (see the Psalms). And when critique comes our way, taking it to the Lord in prayer is a way we can deal with it.

When godly correction comes your way, pray that God gives you a soft heart. Pray that God keeps you from defensiveness. Take to him the things that you are struggling to hear-things that might sting. Pray for the person who has given you feedback. Thank God for their willingness and love to provide such feedback. And pray that you would see their words as faithful wounds of a friend.

So, there are two good responses to correction or rebuke.

And yet, to navigate criticism well, I’m convinced we need to be proactive, not just reactive, in our approach. Instead of merely dealing with criticism that comes our way, we can grow by appropriately seeking out feedback from trusted people in different areas of our lives. So thirdly we should…

Invite godly feedback

Now this might seem crazy to you, but hear me out! There are many benefits to inviting appropriate, godly feedback in your life. Chiefly, that by inviting critique, you are tending to the health of your own heart.

You see, if we protect ourselves from all criticism, we run the risk of having hearts that are proud and hard. But by opening channels where godly criticism can be lovingly and humbly received, we can (by God’s grace) look to keep our hearts soft and humble.

A pastor I know models this very well. Every Sunday evening, he gathers a group of people and they review the day’s services. At the start of each session, he says, “The purpose of this time is to model giving and receiving godly encouragement and criticism”. In this way, there is a channel where appropriate and measured criticism (and encouragement) can be given.

And this dynamic shouldn’t be limited to ministry or the things we do. It can also be a great posture in our everyday lives. In our marriages, families, and workplaces, we can seek appropriate feedback from trusted people. For example, learning how to handle criticism at work often begins with proactively inviting skill-building feedback from supervisors or teammates, rather than waiting for stressful performance reviews. When feedback becomes a regular, humble practice, workplace correction feels less threatening and more like part of discipleship and growth.

So, why don’t you start with a godly friend or two who know you well, perhaps the person mentoring you? And express your desire to grow by inviting their feedback.

It would be unhelpful if you were to adopt this posture with everyone. It’s important that you choose someone you are comfortable with, who knows you, and whom you trust. (If you don’t have anyone like this at the moment, pray that God would give you someone in your life like this!). And to start there. And pray that you would be an instrument in God’s hands for sharpening and correcting one another.

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Reflection Questions:

  1. When you next receive feedback or criticism, what would it look like for you to respond with curiosity rather than defensiveness?
  2. Who in your life could you intentionally invite to offer honest, godly criticism — someone who will both encourage and challenge you to grow?
  3. In what specific areas of your life (e.g., work, relationships, ministry) could you begin regularly asking for feedback and praying about what you hear?

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Part 4: We should Sift Ungodly Criticism

So we’ve considered how to respond to godly criticism. And truth be told, in many ways that’s the easy bit! However, there will be times when criticism isn’t godly and is focused more on taking you down rather than building you up.

How should we respond to this kind of criticism?

Perhaps the temptation would be to either criticise back and lob a few grenades of your own, or at the other end of the spectrum, to just run away (literally or metaphorically) and so avoid thinking or talking altogether. Either fight or flight. There may be occasions when it’s right to respond, and there will be times when removing yourself from a situation is wise. But only after you have done some work on your own heart.

So, here are five steps to considering ungodly criticism:

1) Pause

The first thing we should do in this situation is pause. James says in 1:19-20, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”

James’s advice when we want to respond in anger is to pause. To be quick to listen, and slow to speak. How many arguments and fights could have been saved through listening to James’s advice here? As Proverbs 10:19 says, “When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.”

One of the benefits of pausing before responding is that we can have more time to consider what has been said, especially if we struggle with how to handle criticism without reacting impulsively. And specifically, whether the person offering criticism knows us well enough to speak into our lives in this way.

Before getting too prickly over criticism that comes our way, it’s worth reminding ourselves of what the famous preacher C.H. Spurgeon once wisely remarked, “If any man thinks ill of you, do not be angry with him, for you are worse than he thinks you to be.”

2) Pray

Second, as with godly criticism, when we face ungodly criticism, we should remember to pray. As the hymn goes,

Do your friends despise, forsake you? Take it to the Lord in prayer! In his arms he’ll take and shield you; you will find a solace there.

Again, we should be praying for our own hearts in light of what we have heard. Pray that the Lord would help us to love the person who has criticised us and that our hearts would not be embittered by the criticism. Pray that the Lord would give us the grace and wisdom to respond well and in a way that honours him. Prayer softens our spirit and helps us discern how to deal with criticism in a way that reflects Christ.

3) Consider the 5%

Someone once counseled me that even if you disagree with the majority of a critique, there will likely always be an element of truth in what has been said. Perhaps it’s 5%, maybe less. And so, having prayed about what has been said, it’s worth seeing what truth may be salvaged from their harsh words.

As someone wisely wrote, “It’s rare that you can’t find a little gold in even the biggest load of trash.” And as Proverbs reminded us, such an approach will make a wise person only wiser. So, consider sifting the words that come your way, in the most charitable light, to see where the person criticising you may have a point. This humble posture is central to accepting criticism without letting it define you.

4) Respond with Grace

Earlier in this life skills guide, we considered Jesus and how he handled criticism: “When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly” (1 Pet. 2:23). This is how Jesus handled unjust critique. He didn’t always feel the need to retaliate, and when he did respond, he responded with words of grace.

There will be times when it is right to say nothing. But if we feel the need to reply, then we are called to speak the truth in love (Eph. 4:15), and to “get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Eph. 4:31-32). Graceful communication is one of the surest signs that we have learned how to take criticism without resentment.

5) Lean into Christian community

Finally, in this situation, we can lean on our Christian community. The Christian life is not one that we are to live in isolation. That’s true in both good times and hard times. And so, when we encounter ungodly criticism, we should appropriately lean into our Christian community.

What does this look like? It may mean asking a mentor or mature believer for help understanding how we should receive or respond to untimely criticism. Now, care must be exercised when we do this. We need to ensure that we don’t fall into self-pity, gossip, or slander.

However, we can ask a trusted person for their opinion on whether and to what extent the criticism is valid. Perhaps ask a trusted friend what the “5% truth” might be. And ask them to check in on you and your heart from time to time about the situation.

Being part of a loving, accountable church community creates an environment where responding to criticism becomes less threatening because you are surrounded by people who love you, want you to grow, and understand your weaknesses.

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Reflection Questions:

  1. When you receive harsh or unfair criticism, what practical steps could help you slow down and avoid reacting in anger or defensiveness?
  2. Think of a time you received criticism that felt unfair or hurtful. Looking back, was there a small element of truth (“the 5%”) that God might have wanted you to see? How could you use that lesson to grow in humility and wisdom?
  3. How can you ensure your response to ungodly criticism reflects Christ’s grace and truth? Who in your Christian community could you lean on for prayer and accountability when you face such situations?

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Part 5: We should Seek to give Godly Criticism

So far in this life skills guide, we’ve considered receiving criticism. However, there will be times when we need to give feedback to others. And when those times come, we should seek to do so in a godly way. Our goal in providing such feedback is not to win an argument but to build up a brother or sister in Christ.

So, how can we give godly criticism? Here are five steps to providing such feedback.  

1) Pray

Once again, we should pray before we give correction or reproof. Through prayer, we seek God’s wisdom to discern the right timing, tone, and approach for the conversation.

Prayer can also work in our hearts to prepare us for hard conversations. Prayer softens our spirit and helps to replace harshness with compassion and defensiveness with patience. I know that I find it harder to be short-tempered and angry with those for whom I am praying. 

Pray that you would speak with grace, humility, and love. And also pray for the other person’s heart. Start by asking the Lord that they would receive your correction with understanding and openness.

2) Be specific

In all our feedback, we should aim to be specific. Vague generalisations are not as helpful for those we are correcting, and they can be more open to misunderstanding. Specific feedback helps others understand clearly what they need to change or improve, rather than leaving them confused or discouraged by vague comments.

So, without sounding like you are keeping a record of wrongs (1 Cor. 13:5), we should aim to give particular examples of the action that needs correcting. This is difficult for those of us who don’t like upsetting others. But in such a case, it’s good to be reminded that when feedback is concrete and rooted in love, it reflects God’s character.

Ultimately, specificity in godly feedback ensures that our words edify the other person (Eph. 4:29) and guide them toward righteousness and truth.

3) Be humble and gentle

As we saw earlier in this life skill guide, our tone and manner matter when we give feedback to others. Scripture calls us to correct others gently and in love. So, Paul in Galatians 6:1 says, “Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.”

Gentleness shows that we are seeking to speak words that heal rather than harm, guiding others toward truth with compassion and kindness. In doing so, we aim to reflect Christ’s heart, the one who was full of grace and truth (John 1:14).

4) Guard against a critical spirit

If you have to give regular feedback, you may be tempted toward a critical spirit, and we must guard our hearts against this tendency.

How can we ensure that we steer our hearts away from having a critical spirit? Well, here are some questions to ask ourselves as we consider giving a Christian brother or sister feedback,

– Am I seeking to guide this person onto a good path, or am I just seeking to condemn them?
– Would it bring me joy to see them come to the truth?
– Do I desire to see God honoured or just prove myself right?

Asking these kinds of questions can help us discern if we are acting from pure or impure motives. Answering them honestly before the Lord can help guard our hearts from developing a critical spirit.

5) Cultivate encouragement

A culture and relationships of encouragement are key if any correction is to land well. One writer helpfully said, “If encouragement is intentional, persistent, and honest, then critique will serve as a polishing cloth on each other’s hearts. If it is not, then it will turn into a flamethrower.” I think that’s right. When people understand that encouragement defines your tone, they will be far more open to receiving your thoughts because they trust your motives. This dynamic is especially important when learning how to handle criticism in everyday life, and particularly when navigating criticism in relationships.

To this end, we should regularly examine what words come from our mouths, particularly toward those with whom we are in close contact. Does encouragement more readily flow than critique? If not, are there some adjustments (and apologies) needed? When encouragement strengthens relational trust, even difficult conversations feel safer, and criticism in relationships becomes far less damaging and more refining.

So we’ve seen ways in which we can grow in giving godly criticism. Handled rightly, it can be a wonderful tool that the Lord uses to sharpen us and grow us in the grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus (2 Pet. 3:18). And in this spirit, learning how to handle criticism with humility and grace becomes part of how we reflect Christ in our closest relationships.

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Reflection Questions:

  1. Think of a recent situation where you felt the need to correct someone. How might praying beforehand have changed your attitude, tone, or choice of words in that conversation?
  2. In your current relationships (family, church, workplace, ministry), what are some practical ways you could intentionally build a culture of encouragement so that future feedback is received with trust rather than defensiveness?
  3. When giving feedback, how can you check your own heart to ensure you are being humble and gentle rather than developing a critical spirit? What specific signs might show that your motives are slipping toward pride or judgment instead of love?

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Conclusion

Over the course of this field guide, we’ve considered that criticism is the inevitable result of sin. We’ve seen that criticism can be divided into two different kinds: godly and ungodly. We’ve then considered some principles to help us discern the type of criticism we are facing. We’ve then considered how to handle criticism wisely, how we can respond to different types of critique, and lastly how we can give constructive criticism that seeks to build up rather than tear down.

As I’ve reflected on criticism and how to deal with it, a specific paragraph of the Bible has never been far from my mind-Galatians 4:22–26:

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.

Underneath all that we’ve considered, one foundational way of growing in how to handle criticism is for the fruit of the Spirit to grow in our lives. When we cultivate love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control, we are more likely to respond to criticism in ways that honour God rather than react out of pride or hurt.

When criticism is godly-offered in truth and love-the fruit of the Spirit enables us to humbly listen and grow from it, discerning how God may be shaping our character through the words spoken to us. When criticism becomes constant criticism, or when it is ungodly-harsh or unfair-the same spiritual fruit keeps us from retaliating rashly, allows us to forgive without bitterness, and helps us remember that every believer will face unfair words at times just as Christ did.

Ultimately, growing in the fruit of the Spirit transforms criticism, whether just or unjust, into an opportunity for deeper maturity, greater reliance on God, and a more reflective display of Christ’s character in our lives. In this way, even constructive criticism becomes a grace-filled tool for growth, and even constant criticism loses its power to shape our identity. Christ remains the One who defines us, sustains us, and strengthens us as we continue learning how to handle criticism with humility and love..

About the Author

JAMIE SOUTHCOMBE is pastor at Grace Church in Guildford, England, where he and his wife, Gracie, live and raise their four children.

#69 Spiritual Warfare: Resisting Temptation and Winning the Battle Within

1 Temptation

How do you see yourself? Virtuous, disciplined, full of the fruits of the Spirit? If so, praise God! But is this view accurate?

What about your future self? How do you see yourself fighting sin when you face it in the days to come? Most of us tend to have a very high view of our future selves. We anticipate that the new diet won’t be any problem, that we’ll stick to the budget, and that the workout routine will be doable. We imagine our future selves as more courageous, self-controlled, and sober-minded than we really are.

When we experience the rude awakening that our future selves are not as strong as we thought they would be, we can feel a little sheepish. Another failed diet, daily bible reading plan, or workout routine reveals our naivete. But we usually brush off these feelings, laugh at ourselves, and get back to life.

What happens, though, when we overestimate ourselves spiritually? What happens when we think we are more spiritually mature, stronger, and holy than we actually are? Or when we think that we’re prepared to handle temptation, but we’re not? What if we actually need to be rescued, delivered from our temptations by someone greater than ourselves?

This is why Scripture often frames the Christian life in terms of spiritual warfare—a reminder that temptation is not just a bad habit to break but a battle we cannot win in our own strength.

One of the most famous accounts from the life of Jesus is of his temptation in the wilderness. In the gospel of Luke, we are told that Jesus went into the wilderness where he endured forty days of temptation. Luke describes the scene: “And Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, returned from the Jordan and was led by the Spirit in the wilderness for forty days, being tempted by the devil” (Luke 4:1-2).

If you know this story, then you know that Jesus was victorious over Satan. The account of Jesus’ temptation in the wilderness is powerful, and so it’s often used as a “how-to manual” for teaching Christians about fighting temptation by the power of the Spirit and the Word of God. And that’s not wrong!

The temptation of Christ shows us not only how to resist sin but also that victory over temptation is ultimately rooted in dependence on God, not personal resolve.

What I find interesting, however, is that when Jesus teaches his disciples how to pray in the midst of temptation, he doesn’t teach them to pray for boldness or for perfect Scripture recall. Rather, he teaches them to pray that they wouldn’t end up in the midst of temptation in the first place. In the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus teaches his followers to pray like this: “Lead us not into temptation” (Matt. 6:13). It seems as if Jesus, remembering his own harrowing temptation drama in the wilderness, teaches his disciples to ask God that they would never have to experience their own wilderness event.

Jesus teaches us to pray this way because we are weak in our sin and temptation. While it’s true that Christians are strengthened by the indwelling of the Holy Spirit (Eph. 3:16), it’s also true that we still live in this body of death with its warring desires (Gal. 5:17). Christians are, until heaven, always going to be beset by weakness. A modicum of self-awareness will serve the Christian well on this front.

The most dangerous place a Christian can stand is in the false confidence of his own strength—especially when it comes to battling sin. “Let no saint, therefore,” writes Jonathan Edwards, “however eminent, and however near to God, think himself out of danger. He that thinks himself most out of danger, is indeed most in danger.”[1] The punch that hurts the worst is the one you don’t see coming, and overly confident Christians are the ones who get caught flat-footed by Satan and his schemes.

A mentor once told me that all Christians should see themselves as about to fall over sin’s cliff. To paraphrase, “In relation to sin, our temptation moves us closer and closer towards the edge of a cliff, one that we are about to fall off of at any moment, into the abyss of death and ruin. Because of our sinful desires, we are not only standing near the edge of a cliff, we’re also standing on a steep incline, slanted downward towards the black abyss. Moreover, we are not only standing on a steep incline near the cliff’s edge, but we also stand on slippery ground where we may lose our footing at any moment.”

This is how we ought to see ourselves in relation to sin. If we understand this reality—that we are not strong, but weak—it makes sense that Jesus would teach us to pray that God would keep us far from temptation.

So, how do you see yourself?  Truth is, we often crumble under the weight of temptation, like we crumble two days into a new diet. “The diet starts Monday” is the same kind of lie as “I can be alone with her; I won’t give in to lust,” or “I can uninstall this software on my computer, I’ve got this porn thing under control.”

I can think of no better illustration of this kind of spiritual false confidence than the apostle Peter. Jesus told the disciples that they would abandon him in his darkest hour. “You will all fall away,” says Jesus (Matt. 26:31).

Here’s how Peter responded, “Even though they all fall away, I will not” (Matt. 26:33). Jesus went on to tell Peter that he would, in fact, deny him three times before the night was over. Peter responded, “Even if I must die with you, I will not deny you!” (Matt. 26:35).

Do you remember how the story ends? Not only does Peter deny Jesus, he denies him three times, swearing and calling curses down on his own head (Matt. 26:74). So, I ask again, how do you see yourself in relation to sin and temptation? Do you see yourself as a David, boldly facing down the giant? Or do you see yourself like Peter, quivering with fear in the courtyard?

Now you may be thinking, “What kind of Christian life is this? Where is the victory? Where is the power of God over sin?” To be sure, we do have victory, and our ability to resist sin and fight temptation does grow in grace over time (with seasons of highs and lows, of course).

We are absolutely called to do battle against sin and temptation, and we should strive to win those battles when we find ourselves in the midst of them! Consider the words of Ephesians 6:11…“Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.” We are called to take a real stand against the devil and his schemes. And when we find ourselves in the middle of a dogfight, we must raise the sword of God’s Word and lop off the head of any enemy we encounter, trusting in the armor of God’s protection.

This is the active side of fighting temptation, where the Christian resists, stands firm, and relies on the strength God provides.

But, and this is key, just because we are equipped for battle, does not mean we should seek it out. We should never confuse the God-given ability to wage spiritual warfare with a God-given desire to engage in it. In both 1 Corinthians and 2 Timothy, Paul tells his readers to “flee” from temptation and sin. Flee sexual immorality, flee youthful passions, flee, flee, flee (1 Cor. 6:18, 10:14, 2 Tim. 2:22). When it comes to temptation, our default setting should always be more flight than fight.  

This is why Jesus, at the end of his ministry, took the time to say this to his disciples: “Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak” (Matt. 26:41). “The Spirit is willing” is Jesus’ way of saying, “I know you have the heart of a warrior, but your flesh is weaker than you know. So strive for self-awareness, humility, and a right understanding of the power of sin. Our hearts are wicked, sin tastes sweet to the flesh, and the cost of overestimating our own spiritual strength may be nothing less than our very souls.”

Reflection Questions:

  1. What does it mean that Satan is “the tempter” (1 Thess. 3:5)? How does that shape how you think about your daily battle with sin?
  2. Why is self-reliance dangerous in the fight against sin? How does the gospel reorient us toward God-dependence?
  3. The chapter uses the illustration of Captain Phillips needing rescue. How does this image help us better understand Jesus as our Deliverer?

2 Deliverance

Satan is known ubiquitously throughout the pages of Scripture as “the tempter.” He is explicitly called “the tempter” in 1 Thess. 3:5: “For this reason, when I could bear it no longer, I sent to learn about your faith, for fear that somehow the tempter had tempted you and our labor would be in vain” (1 Thess. 3:5).

In addition to his nickname of sorts, we see Satan actually acting like a tempter throughout the pages of Scripture. In Genesis 3, he tempted Adam and Eve in the garden. In the wilderness, satan tempts Jesus, the second Adam. This is Satan’s main shtick: tempting the children of God. He’s been doing it since the beginning, and he’ll keep doing it until Jesus comes back.
This is why Christians must see temptation as part of ongoing spiritual warfare, not just a moral struggle but a direct conflict with the one who opposes God’s people.

We should, of course, be careful here not to ascribe to Satan certain attributes that only belong to God. Satan is not under every rock and hiding behind every corner. But the Bible does speak about Satan as being uniquely powerful over and against humans. In fact, the Bible seems to indicate that in some way, Satan is the father of, or at the root of, or behind the temptations and evil of this fallen world.

For example, Jesus tells the religious leaders that they lie about him because they are of their father, Satan (John 8:44). In Acts 26, Jesus tells Paul that he is going to send him to the Gentiles for the purpose of delivering them “from the power of Satan” (Acts 26:17–18). When Paul writes to the Corinthians about sex in marriage, he urges husbands and wives not to deprive one another for long. Why? Because he knows that prolonged neglect opens the door for Satan to tempt them through their lack of self-control (1 Cor. 7:5). Scripture even describes Satan working through emissaries. Paul, for example, refers to his “thorn in the flesh” as a “messenger of Satan” (2 Cor. 12:7).

Passages like these remind us that the devil’s temptation is subtle, persistent, and often woven into ordinary moments of life.

Biblically and theologically, then, it makes sense that when Jesus teaches us to pray “deliver us from evil” (Matt. 6:13), He is in some sense teaching us to cry out to God for rescue from Satan’s temptations. Do you see your battle with sin that way, as a war with Satan himself? Whether you do or not, the truth remains: we cannot rescue ourselves; we need God to deliver us.

This is why a daily prayer against temptation is not optional but essential—Jesus Himself commanded us to pray this way because He knows our weakness.

Our culture says, “If you fall, just dust yourself off. If you land in a hole, climb your way out. If you’re broke, work harder until you’ve made it in life.” That kind of grit may serve you well in school or business, but it will not deliver you from sin and temptation. The Bible does not describe temptation and evil as obstacles you simply power through, but rather, as enemies you cannot escape without a Rescuer. Resisting sin is not an action movie where you’re the hero. It’s a rescue mission where Christ is the Deliverer.

And understanding how to resist temptation begins by knowing that victory comes through dependence, not self-confidence.

You may see yourself like John McClane in Die Hard at Nakatomi Plaza: caught in a tough spot (and on Christmas, no less!), but confident you’ll improvise, fight your way through, and save the day. That’s the superhero myth: we always find a way. But your life is probably closer to Captain Phillips: outmatched, overpowered, and utterly dependent on someone else (like SEAL Team 6) to come and rescue you. When it comes to temptation, the question isn’t if you’ll face it, but when. And when it comes to sin, the reality is that none of us will make it to heaven without scars.

Every believer will spend a lifetime fighting temptations, and though the battles vary, none of us escape them entirely.

I love lions. They’re strong, regal, and fierce. It’s no surprise, then, that Jesus is described as the Lion of Judah. Some of my favorite images of lions are the high-resolution close-ups: the jaws built for power, the piercing eyes of an apex predator, the proud mane of a leader. But the detail I love most is the scars. A lion’s face tells the story of a hundred battles survived in the wilderness. Each scar is a testimony: they’ve endured, they’ve fought, they’ve bled, and yet they live.

I think that’s how it will be with us in heaven. If you could see our souls in that place, you would see something glorious, yes…but also covered in spiritual scar tissue. Each mark would tell the story of another round in the war with sin. We’ll make it home, to be sure, but none of us will arrive unscathed. Like lions, we will bear the marks of our battles with sin.

Here’s a sobering truth: the question isn’t if you will fall into evil and need to be delivered, it’s when. And when you find yourself in the grip of temptation, remember how Jesus taught you to pray: “Deliver us from evil” (Matt. 6:13).

Reflection Questions:

  1. Why do you think we often overestimate our own strength when it comes to temptation? Can you think of an example from your own life?
  2. Jesus teaches us to pray, “Lead us not into temptation” (Matt. 6:13). How might your prayer life change if you prayed this regularly and specifically?
  3. In what ways can we practice “fleeing” temptation (1 Cor. 6:18; 2 Tim. 2:22) rather than assuming we are strong enough to fight it?

3 Identity

In the age of identity politics, where humans are subdivided into an endless number of groups and used as pawns on the cultural chessboard, Christians may be tempted to be suspicious of the very concept of “identity.” But that’s a mistake.

The word identity doesn’t appear in Scripture, but the concept certainly does. Identity is simply the answer to the question, “Who am I?”

In Romans 6, Paul is clear: our identity and our sanctification go hand in hand (Rom. 6:4, 6, 11). Therefore, if you have a malformed or underdeveloped sense of identity, you will struggle to put sin to death. But if you know who you are in Jesus, you can walk in the newness of life that belongs to you in him.

This is also where Temptation in the Bible becomes deeply practical, because Scripture consistently ties our ability to resist sin to understanding who we are in Christ.

So, do you know who you are? When asked this question, most Christians will likely pause and say, “I think so.” But my prayer for you is that by the end of this section, you’ll be able to say with clarity and conviction: “I know who I am in Christ.” When you know who you are in Jesus, you’ll be able to resist sin and temptation with all the power available to you in the gospel. In Romans 6, Paul uses two powerful images to help us grasp our identity: baptism and slavery. Baptism shows our union with Christ. Slavery shows our new dominion under Christ.

These images equip believers for fighting temptations by grounding their confidence not in human willpower, but in gospel truth.

Take a moment to read Romans 6 and then come back and finish this section.

Paul’s argument isn’t, “You shouldn’t indulge in sin because you’ve been baptized.” Rather, it’s, “You can’t indulge in sin because you’ve been baptized.” Baptism points to your union with Christ: you are dead to sin and alive to God.

Look at the language Paul uses:

Baptism means your soul has been knit to Christ forever. You are in him, and he is in you.

That’s why Paul can ask: “How can we who died to sin still live in it?” (Rom. 6:2). We can’t. Not as a way of life. Our “old self” was crucified with Christ (v.6). That corrupt root is dead, and a new root—the life of Christ—now grows in us.

Of course, we still sin. Paul is not teaching sinless perfection in this life. But he is saying that while Christians sometimes stumble, we don’t indulge in sin as a settled lifestyle. Why? Because sin has lost dominion in the life of the believer (v.9).

This is why bible verses about temptation like Romans 6:14 matter so deeply—they remind us that temptation may be real, but its authority is broken.

Here’s the practical takeaway: Your ability to live a godly life will rise or fall on your ability to comprehend and believe the reality pictured in your baptism.

That word “consider” means “to reckon, to actively meditate.” In other words, fight to believe what you already know to be true: You are dead to sin and alive to God in Christ.

Paul’s second image is slavery. The point is simple:

Paul personifies sin and righteousness as slave masters. How did you leave the tyranny of one for the service of the other? In the ancient world, a slave could gain freedom in three ways:

  1. Purchase it himself.
  2. His master died.
  3. He was bought by a new master.

Option 1 is impossible for us when it comes to sin. We can’t buy our way out of sin. But the gospel achieves options 2 and 3 for us by grace:

So Paul can say: “You can’t keep serving your old master. He’s dead!”

This truth directly strengthens believers engaged in Spiritual warfare, reminding them that temptation is not a battle fought alone, but with a new Master who has already won.

The Promise of Dominion

Here is one of the most precious promises in the Bible:

“For sin will have no dominion over you” (Rom. 6:14).

No dominion. No power. No authority. Whenever temptation rears its ugly head in your life, preach this to yourself: “Sin has no dominion over me. Only Christ has dominion over me.”

Temptation will come, but I don’t have to yield. I may stumble, but I don’t have to stay down. The world, the flesh, and the devil may press in, but I can stand strong. I can change because sin has no dominion over me. This is not self-help—it’s gospel reality.

This is why studying Temptation in the Bible is vital—it teaches us how God has already broken sin’s authority through Christ.

So, when you are tempted—whether to lust, anger, gossip, bitterness, overwork, or despair—preach Romans 6 to yourself: “I am no longer in Adam; I am in Christ. My old self was crucified with him. My new self is alive in him. I belong to a new Master.” And then let that truth drive you to worshipful obedience.

And when the pressure feels overwhelming, remember that you are not left helpless in fighting temptations—your identity in Christ is God’s built-in weapon for spiritual victory.

Your identity in Christ is not a motivational slogan. It is an unshakable reality: you are united to Christ in His death and resurrection, and you are under His gracious dominion. Believe it, consider it, meditate on it, and live out of it. This is who you are: dead to sin, alive to God, and joyfully bound to Christ.

Reflection Questions:

  1. How does baptism picture your union with Christ? Why is that vital for resisting sin?
  2. Paul says, “For sin will have no dominion over you” (Rom. 6:14). How can this promise shape your daily fight with temptation?
  3. Why is it important to see yourself as a “slave of Christ”? How might this truth bring freedom rather than fear?

4 Provision

“The night is far gone; the day is at hand. So then let us cast off the works of darkness and put on the armor of light.”
—Romans 13:12

Sin is like a filthy robe. Your daily job as a Christian is to take off the dirty rags of sin and put on the armor of Christ—to take off what will get you killed and to put on what will keep you alive.

This is the language of Spiritual warfare, reminding us that every believer wakes up on a battlefield where holiness must be practiced on purpose.

Soldiers on deployment don’t stroll through a warzone in gym shorts and flip-flops. They wear armor: helmets, vests, weapons, all of it. If you’re awake, you’re armed. That’s what Paul is saying here: “You’re not asleep anymore. Wake up. The sun is out. Put on your armor.”

In the New Testament, armor isn’t how you achieve victory; it’s how you stand firm in the victory Christ has already won. In the case of the Christian life, you don’t put on the armor to win the battle. Rather, you live like a soldier who is already on the winning side. Consider what Paul said to the Romans: “But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires” (Rom. 13:14).

Paul tells the Galatians that all who are baptized into Christ have already “put on Christ” (Gal. 3:27). Positionally, you are clothed in Christ the moment you trust him. And yet, in Romans 13, Paul also tells us to keep putting Christ on daily. Why? Because this is the shape of the Christian life: we repent when we come to Christ, and then we keep on repenting. Similarly, we believe in Jesus, and then we keep on believing. We assume Christ’s identity, and we keep living it out until he calls us home.

This is how Paul puts it elsewhere: “Cleanse out the old leaven… as you really are unleavened” (1 Cor. 5:7). And again: “At one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light” (Eph. 5:8). The word translated “provision” is the Greek word pronoia, which literally means “forethought” or “planning ahead.” In classical Greek, it often described prudent planning for the future, like budgeting resources or preparing for a journey. The only other place the word shows up in the New Testament is Acts 24:2, where Tertullus flatters Governor Felix for his “foresight” (pronoia) in governing the nation.

So when Paul says “make no provision for the flesh,” he’s saying, “Don’t give sin a head start. Don’t plan for it. Don’t build it a runway.” Just as you can plan wisely for righteousness, you can also plan foolishly for sin. Paul’s command is to cut off sin when it’s just a thought.

This is exactly what the Bible teaches about Resisting temptation: we don’t simply stand our ground—we remove the opportunities that feed sin.

The reality is that sin doesn’t just happen by accident; it feeds on preparation. Righteousness doesn’t happen by accident either. If you want holiness to win and sin to lose, you need a plan. Think about your finances. The most sanctified part of you wants to spend every dollar for God’s glory. Amen! But another, less sanctified part of you wants to spend it selfishly. Which part wins? The one you planned for. That’s why you make a budget, where every dollar gets a holy assignment.

Or think about health. You don’t stumble into fitness. You plan meals, you schedule workouts, you keep junk food out of the house. It takes intentionality. In the same way, righteousness doesn’t grow by accident. If you want to walk in holiness, you must be deliberate. That means building habits that feed the Spirit and cutting off habits that feed the flesh.

Feed your soul with what strengthens godliness—things such as prayer, Scripture, fellowship with God’s people, and accountability in your local church. Additionally, be sure to starve the flesh by removing its opportunities. Think about the following common temptations and ways you can starve them by having a good plan.

Jesus taught us to pray, “Lead us not into temptation.” Even though Jesus was tempted in the desert and overcame Satan perfectly, He still teaches His followers not to seek out temptation deliberately. His victory does not mean we should chase spiritual danger; it means we should cling to the One who overcame it.

So why would we walk ourselves right into its path?

Here’s the danger with a section like this: if all you hear is “try harder,” you’ll either become proud when you think you’re succeeding or despair when you know you’re failing. That’s not the point. Paul doesn’t say “put on Christ so that God will love you.” He says, “Put on Christ because God already does.” So tomorrow morning, don’t just say, “I need to fight sin.” Say, “Christ has fought the battle for me. The war is already won. And that changes everything about the way I fight. I will make provision for victory today, and every day until Jesus calls me home.”

Reflection Questions:

  1. Paul tells us to “make no provision for the flesh” (Rom. 13:14). How does the idea of “forethought” change the way you approach temptation?
  2. What are some practical ways you can “feed the Spirit” and starve the flesh in your daily life?
  3. Why is it important to remember that putting on Christ is not a way to earn God’s love, but a response to already being loved?

5 Church

One of the first lies temptation whispers is this: “You’re on your own.” 

Sin thrives in silence and secrecy. It wants you to believe that no one else could understand your struggle, that if you speak up, you’ll only be rejected, that if you stumble, you’ll be abandoned. But Jesus didn’t save us into silos; he adopted us into a family—a family full of sinners and screw ups just like you. Every Christian fights, but no Christian fights well by himself. It is not good for man to be alone (Gen. 2:18, Heb. 3:12-13, Heb. 10:24-25).

Temptation weakens us, blinds us, and isolates us (Prov. 18:1). The church, on the other hand, by God’s Spirit, reminds us of what’s real, pulls us back when we wander, and lifts us up when we stumble (Jas. 5:16).

The church reminds us of the truth. Temptation always traffics in lies. It tells you that sin will satisfy, that secrecy will protect you, that repentance can wait until tomorrow. But when you’re joined to a gospel-preaching church, you surround yourself with people who speak the truth of God’s Word back to you. Hebrews 3:13 says, “Exhort one another every day… that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.” Left alone, we will certainly be deceived. But joined together in the church, we will see sin for what it really is.

The church pulls us back from danger. There are moments when a sharp word from a brother or sister is like a hand on your arm, yanking you away from the edge of a cliff. That word may sting, but it saves. James 5:19–20 reminds us that when someone brings a sinner back from wandering, he “saves his soul from death and covers a multitude of sins.” Rescue often comes in the form of a warning, a rebuke, or a plea, but it is grace all the same.

The church stands with us in the fight. Temptation often makes us feel ashamed and powerless. But God gives us brothers and sisters who won’t let shame have the last word. Think of the paralytic whose friends lowered him through the roof to Jesus (Mark 2:1–12). He couldn’t walk there himself—they carried him. In the same way, when temptation leaves you weak, the church bears you up in prayer, intercedes for you, and points you to the Savior who never leaves nor forsakes his own.

Make no mistake: the church is not the Savior—Jesus is. But Jesus has chosen to strengthen us through his body—the church. We plan, we pray, we flee temptation, but if we cut ourselves off from the people of God, we are already halfway to defeat. To fight alone is to fight against the very means of grace Christ has given you. To fight together is to fight as Christ intends.

So don’t wait until you’re already staggering to seek out help. Stay near the herd. Stay close to the brothers and sisters who will remind you of truth, pull you back from danger, and stand beside you in the fight.

Reflection Questions:

  1. Why is secrecy such fertile ground for sin? How have you seen the power of accountability in your own life or others?
  2. Hebrews 3:13 tells us to “exhort one another every day.” What does this look like in real, practical terms for you and your church?
  3. How can you both give and receive help within the body of Christ without fear or shame?

6 Vision

The point is simple, but simple doesn’t mean easy: You can and must put your sinful desires to death. Not just resist them but kill them. This is where overcoming temptation becomes intensely practical—not just saying “no” in the moment, but cultivating a greater love that drives out sin’s power.

I’m not saying it’s as easy as pressing a button, and I certainly haven’t arrived. Like you, and the Apostle Paul, and every sinner saved by grace, I’m still pressing. Paul writes, “Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own” (Phil. 3:12).

But putting sin to death is also not as complicated as rocket science (and you don’t have to sell everything and move to a monastery to do it). Even the monks of old found that lust followed them into the desert. One early church father, Jerome, admitted that even while living among the scorpions in desert solitude, his heart still burned with lust. He wrote:

How often, when I was living in the desert, in the vast solitude which affords hermits a savage dwelling place, parched by a burning sun, did I think I was in the midst of the pleasures of Rome! My face was pale, my body chilled with fasting, yet my mind burned with desire in my cold body, and the fires of lust flared up even though the flesh was already as good as dead.[2]

So, if the wilderness can’t cure your lusts, how can you fight them right where you are? This is where spiritual warfarebecomes real—not loud and dramatic, but quiet and daily, fought in the hidden places of the heart.

Let’s start with a thought experiment: Imagine you’re alone with a woman who isn’t your wife. You crossed the line fifteen minutes ago, and now you’re about to cross the point of no return. Suddenly, you hear a truck pull into the driveway. It’s her father. He’s not a big man, but he’s big on two things: guns and protecting his daughter.

In that instant, your sinful desires evaporate. Why? Because they’re expelled by an even stronger desire, namely, the desire to stay alive. That’s what Thomas Chalmers (and later John Piper) called “the expulsive power of a new affection.” Of course, these pastor theologians didn’t just make this idea up out of thin air; they got it from the Bible. John writes, “Do not love the world or anything in the world…” (1 John 2:15). And Jesus said, “The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field…” (Matt. 13:44). Many of the temptation Bible verses we know are really about this very thing—our loves being reordered by something better.

You don’t kill desire by sheer willpower; you kill it by replacing it with a deeper desire. That is the heart of how to overcome temptation.

Picture another scenario. You’re about to watch pornography. You don’t want to (on one level), but you feel like you need to. Or maybe you feel like you deserve it. Or maybe you’re just too tired and numb to care. Why can’t you shut it down? Because, unlike the situation with the father in the driveway, you don’t see any immediate threat. So, you open your phone or laptop and indulge. But just because you can’t see danger doesn’t mean it isn’t there. Remember, sin always hides its hooks. It whispers comfort while sharpening the knife. As Proverbs warns: “The prudent sees danger and hides himself, but the simple go on and suffer for it” (Prov. 22:3).

So, when lust seems harmless, remember that the danger is real even if it isn’t obvious. Next time you’re tempted, I want you to look through your lust and see the consequences on the other side.

But don’t just look at the danger. Look, also, at the joy that awaits you on the other side of faithfulness.

Remember what Jesus said: “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” (Matt. 5:8) This is the ultimate reward. Not just a clear conscience, not just a stronger marriage, but the vision of God Himself. To be pure in heart is to be single-minded in devotion, with “only eyes for Him.”

So how do you fight lust? You fight by seeing. You look through the cheap promise of temptation to the real cost, and you look through the lure of sin to the deeper joy of Christ. That’s the expulsive power of a new affection. A stronger desire always drives out a weaker one. And the strongest desire of all is this: to see God face to face.

Reflection Questions:

  1. What does Thomas Chalmers mean by “the expulsive power of a new affection”? How have you seen this truth play out in your own life?
  2. How does looking through temptation to its consequences (Prov. 22:3) help weaken its power?
  3. What stronger affection—what greater joy in Christ—can help you replace sinful desires in your life right now?

7 God

“Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord.”
—Hebrews 12:14

There it is. Plain as day. Without holiness, no one will see the Lord. Let that sink in for a moment. No holiness, no heaven. No holiness, no God. So what are we supposed to do with that?

The temptation is to hear those words and immediately turn inward. Okay, I need to work harder. I need to white-knuckle this thing. I need to clean myself up so God will let me in. But that’s not what the author of Hebrews is saying. Holiness isn’t something you manufacture; it’s something you hunger for. It’s something God himself produces in you by his Spirit. Do you want to see God? Then his grace is already at work in you. Now strive for holiness by his grace, so that you will get what you want most out of this life—God himself.

Contrary to what you may have heard, holiness is not primarily about rules. It’s about appetite—what you love, what you long for, what you crave. David said in Psalm 27:4: “One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after…” Do you see? One thing, not ten things. That hunger for God is the very heart of holiness.

Jesus blesses that hunger in the Beatitudes: “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied” (Matt. 5:6). Holiness is, fundamentally, the result of a new appetite—a God-given craving for God himself. Jesus also said, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God” (Matt. 5:8).

This is staggering. What greater promise could there be? To see God—not dimly, not at a distance—but face-to-face. This is what the human heart was made for. This is the great reward of holiness.

Do you see the connection? Holiness and vision are tied together. Only the pure in heart will see God. If sin clouds your heart, it clouds your vision. But if your heart is purified by Christ, your vision clears until you can see him as he truly is. John tells us, “We shall see him as he is” (1 John 3:2), and that this hope leads us to purify ourselves (v.3). This is why the Christian life is always a kind of spiritual warfare—a daily fight to keep our vision fixed on Christ.

So ask yourself: What do you want more than anything else? Comfort? Success? Ease? Or to see God face-to-face? This is the hunger Scripture drives us toward. The more your hunger grows, the more you recognize the true temptation definition Bible teaching gives us: temptation isn’t just an urge; it’s a rival vision that tries to steal your appetite for God.

Think of the 1959 hit song by The Flamingos, “I Only Have Eyes for You.” If you’ve ever been in love, you understand the image. When you’re captivated by someone, everything else fades. That’s what happens when you are captivated by Christ. The world’s temptations become background noise. Holiness becomes not merely resistance to temptation but the overflow of a captured heart. This is spiritual warfare at its most profound level—not shouting, not dramatics, but loving Christ so intensely that sin loses its pull.

But let’s be honest: we live in a world full of distractions. Temptations are constantly calling us off the path of life. If you try to resist by sheer willpower, you will lose. You don’t win against sin by starving yourself; you win by feasting on Christ. Paul told the Colossians: “Set your minds on things that are above…” (Col. 3:2–3). That is spiritual clarity in the middle of spiritual warfare.

So let me ask you: What is your soul hungry for? When no one is watching, when the guard is down, what do you yearn for most?

Hebrews says you won’t see God without holiness. Jesus says only the pure in heart will see God. John says our hope is to see him as he is. The psalmist says the one thing worth seeking is the beauty of the Lord. Together, these truths form a call to resistance to temptation—a call grounded not in fear but in longing.

This is why Scripture repeatedly calls us to run, not negotiate with sin. When Paul warns us to flee sexual immorality, or when Joseph runs from Potiphar’s wife, Scripture gives us a living illustration of a flee from temptation Bible verse in action. Running isn’t cowardice; it’s wisdom. It’s spiritual warfare expressed through obedience.

So when you pray for victory over temptation, don’t just pray for stronger discipline. Pray for stronger desire—for a vision of Christ so beautiful that sin appears cheap in comparison. Ask God to pull your heart toward him with such force that rival loves lose all charm. That is the true engine of holiness.

Reflection Questions:

  1. Hebrews 12:14 says, “Without holiness, no one will see the Lord.” How does that verse both challenge and encourage you?
  2. What does it mean that holiness is more about appetite (what we hunger for) than about rules?
  3. What does your soul hunger for most? How can you pray for God to give you a deeper appetite for Him above all else?

Conclusion

This might seem strange, but would you consider ending this life skill guide by praying along with me? “Lord Jesus, keep me from temptation by giving me a vision of God so beautiful that I want nothing else but you. And if I falter and find myself in the grip of sin, deliver me from evil by drawing me back to you, where there is nothing but beauty, goodness, and joy forevermore. Amen.”

“Lord Jesus, keep me from temptation by giving me a vision of God so beautiful that I want nothing else but you. And if I falter and find myself in the grip of sin, deliver me from evil by drawing me back to you. Strengthen me for spiritual warfare, deepen my desire for holiness, and uphold me with your grace until I see you face-to-face. Amen.”

End Notes

[1].   https://www.ccel.org/ccel/edwards/works1.ix.v.i.html

[2].    Jerome, Letter 22: To Eustochium, in Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers, Second Series, Vol. 6, ed. Philip Schaff and Henry Wace (Peabody, MA: Hendrickson, 1994), 23.

About the Author

Sean is the pastor of 6th Avenue Community Church in Decatur, Alabama. “The Lord saved me from my sins at eighteen and I haven’t looked back since. (Phil 3:14) After serving five years in the military, the Lord led our family to Peru as missionaries, and then brought us back to the United States in 2015. Amber and I have two beautiful children: Patience and Isabella. When I’m not serving the church, I like to CrossFit, do jiu jitsu, read good books, and tell dad jokes.”

#65 Fear of Failure: How to Face Failure and Rise Again with God’s Strength

1 Failing Creatures, Unfailing Creator

Okay, let’s get this out of the way: if you’re reading this, you’re a failure.

Don’t worry-I’m a failure too! No one in human history can honestly say they’ve succeeded in everything they’ve ever tried (except for one special case-more on him later). I wonder if that’s oddly refreshing news for you today. Feel like you’re the only one doing the failing around these parts? Not even close. Failure is a common bond shared between people who don’t happen to be God. And the more we talk honestly about the fear of failure, the more we realize we’re all in the same boat.

Two Kinds of Failure

Before we get too far, we should differentiate between two kinds of failure: creature failure and spiritual failure. Spiritual failure is our failure to do what God says. Most of this guide will discuss that kind of failure.

But not all failure is the same. Not all failure is our fault-at least not in the same way. Sometimes we fail because we’re sinners; other times we fail because we’re creatures. We were created in the image of God, but that’s not the same thing as being God. Creature failure is when you try and fail-even if you tried hard and did it for the right reasons-because, well, you’re human. Seeing this distinction is one of the first steps in learning from failure instead of being crushed by it.

The distinction between spiritual and creature failure is designed to help you respond appropriately to the failure(s) in your life. You will mess things up; things won’t always go your way. And you will drive yourself absolutely crazy if you try to trace every instance of failure back to a sinful attitude or action. It’s just not that simple. Life in a fallen world is full of reminders that we are not God. Understanding this is also a quiet doorway into how to overcome fear of failure-by realizing some failure comes simply from being human.

Reintroducing God

Speaking of God, let’s talk about him for a minute. If you’re like me, you probably tend to assume God is just a bigger, better version of yourself. Of course, you’d never say it that way. But be honest: are you tempted to treat the difference between you and God like one of quantity, not quality? It’s so easy to act like the universe is the Westminster Dog Show-we consider ourselves the same breed as the Lord, even if we’d admit he should win “best of show.”

Friend, that could not be more wrong. God is not like us. He’s in a category all his own, simply labelled “God.” True, we were made in his image, but at best we’re a dull reflection of his manifold glory. There is no one like God. Not you and not me. He’s the creator; we’re his creatures.

You can attribute some of your failure to being on the “creature” side of the distinction between Creator and creature. God never fails because he’s God—to fail would be to cease being who he is, who he’s always been. Let’s consider some of the reasons we fail and how God, as God, can’t relate.

Five Reasons Why We Fail and God Doesn’t

First, God is pure act. Okay, I know that sounds a little esoteric, but bear with me for a minute. Few things sting more than unrealized potential. Failure hurts the most when things look most promising at the outset. Unfortunately, our potential cuts both ways. We can always be better; we can always be worse. This gap between what we hope for and what actually happens often fuels the fear of failure, making us forget why failing is important for our growth.

As weird as it feels to write this, it’s true: God has no potential. He can’t become because he already is. There’s no new initiative he needs to take or a better version of himself to become. Every ounce of God’s infinite perfection operates at 100% all the time in every way. He couldn’t improve if he tried, and he certainly couldn’t get worse. He just is.

Second, God is holy. I know I said we’d spend this section thinking of creature failure, but you can’t talk about God without mentioning his holiness. What is God’s holiness? It’s his internal commitment to everything right. Ultimately, God’s holiness is his commitment to himself and his glory as the most amazing thing in the universe and beyond.

God doesn’t love anything more than he loves himself. He is perfectly righteous—he’s the very standard of righteousness. He never cuts ethical corners. Everything he does, everything he thinks, everything he adores is right in alignment with his own eternal, radiant, beautiful purity.

Third, God is self-sufficient. If we didn’t need, we wouldn’t fail. If we had everything we need (or want) within ourselves, we wouldn’t need to go outside ourselves for fulfilment. We strive for good things. We strive for bad things. We strive for good things for bad reasons. Our lack moves us to action, which doesn’t always net the result we want. This is where managing failure becomes important-recognizing that our limitations are built-in, not always moral.

We are dependent creatures. God, on the other hand, is independent. He has everything he needs within himself. He doesn’t depend on anything or anyone outside of himself for life (Acts 17:25). There’s nothing out there to complete him, nothing else he could strive for and possibly not attain.

Fourth, God knows everything. If we only knew! If we only knew how that investment opportunity was going to turn out when we put the money in. If only we knew that the person we trusted would let us down in the end. Risk is inherent in human decision-making because we don’t know all the details, much less the outcomes. For us, there is no such thing as a sure thing. This uncertainty often feeds our fear of defeat, making everyday decisions feel heavier than they really are.

God never has to say “if I only knew” because he knows everything already (Isaiah 46:10). Not one single thing in the entire universe-down to the tiniest movement of a molecule-happens without his knowing about it. In fact, nothing happens without him knowing because nothing happens that he didn’t plan. No unforeseen complications or circumstances can alter God’s “Plan A.” Everything works out just as he purposes.

Fifth, God is all-powerful. I guess you could say that, for God, knowledge really is power! We rarely have a clue about what’s going on, much less do we have any ability to affect the outcome in any decisive way. All the training, education, experience, or wealth in the world can’t guarantee a successful outcome.

What God knows and does go hand-in-hand. He executes all his plans to absolute perfection—no proverbial monkey wrenches can stop him. God always gets it done. All he had to do was speak, and everything you see outside your window was created in an instant (Gen. 1–2). “Try” isn’t a word in the divine dictionary. God doesn’t try—he only does.

The Utility of an Unrelatable God

God really can’t relate to our creaturely limitations. I think that’s a good thing-a very good, necessary thing if he’s going to be of any use to us at all. When we’re wrestling with how to deal with fear of failure, it actually helps to know there is Someone who never fails and never fears.

Kevin DeYoung flips that logic on its head in an old conference message called “The God Who Is Not Like Us: Why We Need the Doctrine of Divine Immutability.” He used the illustration of playing with LEGOs on the floor with his young son. His son gets bent out of shape because he can’t follow the construction instructions; pieces are missing—it’s a mess! What does his son need at that moment? Does he need a dad who is just as devastated as he is, or a dad who’s able to reach down and help pull him out of his failure?

Friend, a more “relatable” God can do nothing for you. If God can fail, who’s going to help him when he fails? Moreover, how can God help you when you fall if he can’t even help himself? A so-called “god” who needs you and me as much as we need him isn’t worthy of the name.

God never fails. His unfailing, covenant-keeping character gives us failing, flaky people, genuine hope. There is someone out there who is able to reach down here to pull us up on solid ground again. This is the foundation for Success through failure-not that we succeed because we’re flawless, but because God meets us in our weakness and shows us the importance of failure in shaping us. We can trust his purposes and promises to us will never fail because he will never fail.

Discussion Questions:

  1. Are you more tempted to chalk up every “creature failure” as a “spiritual failure” or excuse every “spiritual failure” as a “creature failure”? Why do you think that is?
  2. Can you think of any other aspects of God’s character that make it impossible for him to fail?
  3. How do you respond when you experience failure that’s not your fault? What about your response do you want to change in light of what you’ve read in this chapter?

2 Standing in a Long Line of Failures

In part one, we distinguished between two different types of failure: spiritual failure and creature failure. Creature failure is what happens when we fail because we simply aren’t God. Failure isn’t always our fault. This helps us understand the importance of failure as part of our design, not always our downfall.

A lot of times it is, though. We’re going to call the kind of failure that is our fault spiritual failure. Spiritual failure happens when we don’t love and obey God over anyone or anything else. You could also call spiritual failure by its other, more popular name: sin.

Spiritual failure occurs on two levels-vertical and horizontal. When we fail spiritually, we fail God first and foremost. Our fundamental problem is that we fail to do our job as those created in God’s image. Our failure deserves an eternity’s worth of God’s holy wrath. This is often where the fear of failure turns into the deeper fear of defeat, because we sense that our failures matter far more than we first assumed.

Our spiritual failure starts with God but usually leads us to fail others, too. We missed the recital because we couldn’t put the bottle down after work. Our business partner can’t pay their mortgage because we’ve been building up a little nest egg from company funds. We’re too addicted to images of other people on our phones to care for our spouses. We always fail God first, but spiritual failure is rarely content until it hurts someone else, too.

A Long Line of Failures

Failure is nothing new. I want to tell you the origin story of failure so we can learn how spiritual failure entered the world and what it’s done ever since it got here. In doing so, we’ll see how we stand in a long line of failures. My hope is that tracing the story of failure will help us understand why we fail and the implications that come with it-and even why failing is important to our understanding of ourselves and our need for grace.

Adam

In the beginning . . . God. That’s how the Bible’s story starts. God was just there—always existing and enjoying perfect fellowship as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. This infinitely happy God decided to create. He didn’t need to. He just wanted to do it to show off his glory, and so he did. Everything that comes into being after Genesis 1:1 was created by him and for him.

Adam and Eve were no exception. In fact, human beings occupied (and continue to occupy) a unique role in God’s creation. Out of all the things God made, only Adam and Eve were made “in his image” (Gen. 1:27). They were brought into the world possessing a special relationship to God—a relationship that gives us a status and a job. We are God’s image-bearers who are supposed to represent him. Adam was created to be like a son to God and bear a spiritual family resemblance.

What does it mean to imagine God in this way? We image God by telling the truth about him, by loving him the most, and by doing what he says. Adam’s job was to reflect the glory and goodness of his Creator while protecting the Garden and spreading the knowledge of God’s glory across the globe (Gen. 1:28). That was Adam’s job and, since he represents us all, that’s our job as well.

Unfortunately, the story doesn’t end there. Adam sinned against God by listening to the serpent’s lies and eating from the tree God had told him not to eat from. Instead of reflecting God’s glory, Adam decided to try to reflect on his own.

Adam failed. He had a job to do and responsibilities to execute, but he failed. His failure introduces us to the deep human struggle of managing failure, because Adam’s fall shows how quickly good intentions can collapse into sin. The effects of Adam’s failure spread everywhere. Through Adam’s sin, physical and spiritual death entered the world, and no one can escape their reach. Adam’s failure not only affects us, but it counts as our failure too. In Adam, we’re born guilty and corrupt. Just like Adam and Eve were kicked out of the Garden, our sins separate us from the One who created us.

Noah

Adam and Eve go on to have children, but spiritual failure runs in the family. Everyone who comes after Adam continues to be God’s image but also continues to sin, failing to love the Lord with all their heart, mind, soul, and strength. Humanity’s collective sin makes Moses, the author of the first five books of the Bible, stop and write that “the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intention of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually” (Gen. 6:5).

That’s… comprehensive. This side of the fall, none of us are good people who simply fail from time to time. We’re not sinners because we sin every now and then-we sin because we’re sinners. Spiritually speaking, we fail because we are spiritual failures. Our sinful actions are the fruit that reveals our rotten hearts. This is exactly why learning how to deal with fear of failure matters-otherwise failure just becomes another cycle of shame.

God decides to start over in Genesis 6. He sends a flood to wipe every living creature off the face of the earth except for Noah and his family. After the waters receded, God told Noah to be fruitful and multiply in Genesis 9:1—the same job God gave Adam to do.

But this “restart” is almost immediately shown to be a false start. Failure definitely survived the flood, as Noah got drunk and naked in his tent before Genesis 9 ended. It’s another reminder of why failing is important: it exposes the unchanged human heart, even after a fresh beginning.

Israel

Fast forward several centuries to the nation of Israel. The great and promised nation finds itself in Egyptian slavery. God raised Moses up to deliver his people from Pharaoh’s rule and bring them to the land he promised their ancestors.

On the way to the promised land, they had to take a pit stop at Mount Sinai. There, God made his relationship with Israel official: they will be his people and he will be their God (Exod. 19:7–11). Israel takes on the job God gave Adam in the Garden—they are committed to live as God’s glory-refectors to the nations. They’re even called God’s “son” in Exodus 4:22.

The terms and conditions for living as God’s people in the land come to them in the form of the Law, which Moses brought down to them on the tablets of stone. If Israel does their job and obeys, they’ll experience blessing. If they fail, they’ll face judgement.

Let’s just say Israel did more of the latter. They failed to abide by those terms and conditions. I mean, they don’t even wait for Moses to get back to them with the tablets before they melted down their jewelry and formed a golden calf to worship (Exod. 32). They had one job, and they committed a fireable offense before their official start date.

That was just a preview of what was to come. Israel could not get out of their own way. God had made a covenant with them, but they never held up their end of the bargain. His presence among them—meant to be a source of joy—turned into a problem. How can a holy God live among a sinful people?

Leaders like Moses and the sacrificial system provided a temporary solution. But year after year, despite sacrifice after sacrifice, Israel kept failing to do what God commissioned them to do-their hearts were too enamored by the “gods” around them to be the ideal community under God they were supposed to model. Yet even in this, the story hints at Success through failure, because their shortcomings pointed forward to the One who would never fail.

David

What Israel needed was good leadership. During the time of the Judges, everyone did what was right in their own eyes because there was no king to keep them in check (Judg. 21:25). Israel was excited about the prospect of a king, even though they valued the same things in a prospective leader as the nations around them. They wanted someone imposing, someone who could lead them into battle—someone . . . tall! Surely such a king would guarantee the end of their spiritual failure.

God had another idea: a scruffy little shepherd boy named David. He charges on the scene full of zeal for God’s glory and confidence in the Lord to deliver his people, no matter how big the enemy (1 Sam. 17). This “man after God’s own heart” looked to have a bright future as God gave him success after success (1 Sam. 13:14). His role as king was to represent Israel’s interests. David’s success would be their success; his failure would be their failure.

That makes David’s failure all the more heartbreaking. Just like Adam and Israel before him, he failed to do his job. His adulterous relationship with Bathsheba is “example A”. He ends up getting her pregnant and has her husband killed to cover it up. David’s sin with Bathsheba is a perfect example of spiritual failure beginning vertically and turning into horizontal, relational failure (see Psalm 51 for David’s reflection on the incident after he repented). For many of us, David’s story also exposes why the fear of failure feels so heavy-we see how quickly sin can unravel a life, a calling, and even a kingdom. Yet his repentance also shows that failure is the key to success when it drives us back to God instead of away from Him.

The Old Testament ends on a pretty bleak note. Israel’s failure resulted in its removal from the promised land for a time. They make it back eventually, but it’s not the same anymore—God’s not there. There’s still the matter of their sin. And God’s wrath. That same question remains as we head into 400 years of divine radio silence between the Old and New Testaments: how can a holy God save unholy people? What’s God going to do with failures like Adam, Noah, Israel, David, and us?

Nothing New Under the Sun (Failure Included)

The story of failure is almost literally a “tale as old as time.” Adam, Noah, Israel, and David all failed to reflect God’s glory. As we’ll think about in the next section, we are in the exact same boat as them. But their stories also remind us that failure is the key to success when it exposes our inability and magnifies God’s faithfulness. And before we move on, stop and marvel at the fact that another story runs parallel to the story of failure-a success story promised all the way back in the Garden that will result in salvation for God’s people (Gen. 3:15).

Reflection Questions:

  1. Think about the “front burner” sins in your life. How are they caused by your failure to love God the way you should?
  2. What does failure’s origin story teach us about ourselves and our failures?

3 A Bigger Failure Than You Thought

In the last section, we traced spiritual failure all the way back to the source: Adam’s fall in the Garden of Eden. Unfortunately, Adam’s failure to image God like he was created to do wasn’t just a personal failure-his failure had cosmic effects. For us, those effects are extremely personal, and they shape how we understand what the Bible says about failure today.

Why We Fail

Did you know the Bible explains sin using failure language? Romans 3:23 says, “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Sin is, among other things, falling short. Many Bible verses about failure use this same imagery. Scholars say Paul may be borrowing from the world of archery here-God’s glory is the bullseye, and our lives are off target. God’s standard is perfect, and we, obviously, fall well short. We fail to live up to the mark set by God’s holiness.

I was a counselor at a Christian day camp during the summer in college. One of the more entertaining parts of my day was the archery station. To say my campers’ efforts at hitting the bullseye were “off target” would be generous. I found out, however, that some kids were missing on purpose. They wanted an excuse to explore the woods, and an errant arrow provided the perfect opportunity.

We Don’t Want to Succeed

Here’s what I’m trying to say: we don’t miss the spiritual mark because we’re still learning and need time to improve. In our natural, sinful state, we have bad moral aim-but that’s what we want. I guess you could say we’re spiritual failures because we want to be-like we’re shooting our arrows in the woods on purpose.

Our problem isn’t ignorance. Flip back a few pages to Romans 1:21–23, Paul says:

For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like a mortal human being and birds and animals and reptiles.

Sound familiar? Just like Adam in the Garden, we’ve exchanged everything for nothing. We traded the job God gave us to try to be our own boss, exchanging him for ourselves and our sin. The reason we fail to meet God’s standard is, fundamentally, because we don’t care about his standard. We care about our standard. That’s why we don’t always feel like the spiritual failures we are-we manipulate the rules, so we come out looking like winners of games made to serve our ego.

Friend, you won’t know what to do with your fear of failure or your failure in the Bible’s sense until you’re confronted with this hard truth: your heart loves spiritual failure. We aren’t victims of darkness-we love the darkness. The light reveals who we were meant to be and who we actually are, and so we run away from it as fast as we can (John 3:19–20).

We Can’t Overcome Our Failure

The Bible uses active metaphors to describe our sin, as Paul does in Romans 1 and 3. We do a lot of suppressing, exchanging, and missing the mark. Scripture also uses passive metaphors to describe our sinful condition. The former draws attention to our pursuit of sin and rejection of God; the latter draws attention to our complete inability to do anything else.

No image more profoundly captures our self-imposed plight than death. “And you were dead in the trespasses and sins . . .” (Eph. 2:1). “And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh . . . (Col. 2:13). “For to set the mind on the flesh is death . . . For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot” (Rom. 8:6–7).

Our problem isn’t so much that we’re failing but that we’ve failed. The Scriptures on failure don’t say we’re like someone drowning in the ocean-we’ve already drowned. And we have no hope in ourselves to do anything about it, even if we wanted to (which, of course, we don’t).

We’re spiritual failures because we’re unwilling and unable to be anything else.

The Many Faces of Spiritual Failure

Your failures and my failures stem from the same source: our sinful hearts. However, your failures may look completely different from mine. Going back to Romans, Paul ends the chapter with a list of sins in Romans 1:29–32. Maybe some of them are familiar to you:

They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Though they know God’s righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them.

Bible verses about failure, like Romans 1:29–32, show us that failure is not one-size-fits-all. Spiritual failure may show up in your life in the form of addiction and a string of broken relationships. Spiritual failure may present as unbearable self-righteousness or a passive-aggressive mean streak. Both are two sides of the same coin. We may not fail the same way, but we ultimately fail for the same reason: we’ve exchanged the glory of God for a lie and must live with the consequences.

God’s Right Response to Our Spiritual Failure

What’s God’s response to our failure to love and obey him? The wages of sin is death (Rom. 6:23). Our failure to worship God calls his worthiness into question and that just won’t fly. Someone is going to have to pay dearly.

God’s wrath-his righteous anger toward our sin-will feel like an overreaction until we understand the stakes of our failure. All creation bows down to its maker: sun, moon, and stars exist to do what he says. And then there’s us. We spit in his face and act like we’re the center of the universe. That’s the very definition of evil. His anger burns hot against us because he’s the best, yet we treat him like a nobody, as if he’s second best to us.

The Lord can’t let our spiritual failure go unpunished. We deserve eternal life in hell. He’s an eternal, infinitely good God, and we deserve an eternal, infinitely horrendous (but just) punishment. If he gave us anything less, he’d be admitting he’s not so glorious after all. The verdict over our lives is “guilty” and “condemned”—no amount of good works or religious ritual can do anything to change it.

And this is where the fear of failure becomes painfully real: we haven’t just failed at a task-we’ve failed before a holy God, with no ability to fix it on our own. But the beauty of the gospel is that where we fail, Jesus never fails.

Accurate Diagnosis, Appropriate Treatment

Why spend all this time unpacking the nature of sin? The cliché is true: the good news only makes sense in light of the bad news. Imagine if we began with “10 Tips and Tricks the Next Time You Fail.” What good would that do if our spiritual failure starts at the very core of our being? Offering life tips to spiritual failures would be like a doctor treating cancer with a Band-Aid. It might cover it up for a while, but you’re still going to die.

You won’t rejoice in the right solution if you don’t understand your problem. I hope by now it’s clear that our failure problem is a sin problem—we don’t do what we should because, apart from Jesus, we can’t and don’t care to either.

But here’s where hope breaks through fear of failure: the One who never fails steps into our story. Jesus never fails-not in obedience, not in love, not in fulfilling God’s law, and not in rescuing sinners who collapse at his feet.

Ready for some good news? Perfect, because condemnation and wrath aren’t God’s only response to our spiritual failure—not even close.

Reflection Questions:

  1. How does your heart respond to being confronted with your inability and unwillingness to live for God’s glory?
  2. Why is it important to understand why you fail to please God? What happens when we don’t?
  3. How could you use this chapter to lovingly challenge an unbeliever in your life this week?

4 Good News For Big Failures

I started this guide by saying everyone who has ever lived has been a failure except for one person. It’s finally time to introduce him. There is one who never failed, who never fell short of God’s perfect standard. That person is the Lord Jesus Christ, our Savior, who came to succeed where we’ve all failed and give us salvation in his name. He is the One we look to whenever the fear of failure grips our hearts, because Jesus never fails.

The Point of Failure’s Story

Okay, I know making you take a trip down the Bible’s memory lane was a lot. But I have my reasons. Reason number one is to make you think twice about any attempt to dust yourself off, grit your teeth, and work harder to be a spiritual success in God’s eyes. I’ll have you know, though, there’s a second reason I wanted to reintroduce spiritual failure’s origin story: to help you rejoice in the parallel story of God’s promises to provide salvation to failures through a perfectly obedient Son. Only when we understand our failures do we feel the weight of grace-and only then do we see why Jesus never fails is the anchor for every believer facing the fear of failure.

Adam and Eve couldn’t make it out of the Garden before God let them know he wasn’t done with his sinful creatures yet. In Genesis 3:15, God says to the satanic serpent: “I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and her offspring; he shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise his heel.” One of Adam and Eve’s sons will come to save the day-succeeding where they failed.

The rest of the Old Testament details the search for this snake-crushing, curse-reversing Son. We know from chapter two that it wasn’t Noah, Israel, or David. In fact, Malachi, the last book of the Bible, ends without telling us who it is. All we’re left with is a glimmer of hope in a sea of darkness: a son of David, the Messiah, will come and make things right.

The very first verse of the New Testament shouts, “he’s here!” Matthew 1:1: “The book of the genealogy of Jesus Christ, the son of David, the son of Abraham.” Jesus is the Son promised back in Genesis 3:15. We get confirmation of this when the Holy Spirit descends on him like a dove during his baptism, telling the universe, “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased” (Matt. 3:17).

Showdown in the Desert

Immediately after comes Jesus’ first big test. Matthew 4:1–3 says, “Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. And after fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. And the tempter came and said to him, ‘If you are the Son of God, command these stones to become loaves of bread.’”

Where have we seen this before? What happened the first time Satan tempted a son of God to doubt God’s word? You can almost hear that ancient serpent hiss, “Did God really say?” But here, unlike in the Garden of Eden, God’s son responds with loving trust in his Father. “But he answered, “It is written, “‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.”

Jesus’ wilderness temptation should also make us think of Israel’s forty years in the desert. Their fear kept them from trusting God’s ability to do what he said, so they ended up walking around in the hot sun until the generation that rejected him died. They were tired and hungry too. Israel gave in to temptation, grumbling and complaining about how the Lord had provided for them.

Adam and Israel failed their tests. Jesus passed his. Where we collapse under the fear of failure, Jesus stands firm-because Jesus never fails. Matthew is intentionally drawing these parallels-the story of our spiritual failure and Jesus’ spiritual victory. Jesus was (and is) a stunning spiritual success because he always loved God and his glory most during his perfect human life.

Adam and Israel failed their tests. Jesus passed his. Matthew is intentionally drawing these parallels—the story of our spiritual failure and Jesus’ spiritual victory. Jesus was (and is) a stunning spiritual success because he always loved God and his glory most during his perfect human life.

Jesus has always been God. He took on our humanity to live the life of obedience God required of us, but that we’ve failed to live. The author of Hebrews says Jesus is like us in every way—having a human will, body, mind, and soul—except he had no sin (Heb. 4:13).

Successful to Death

Jesus was obedient to the point of death (Phil. 2:8). When he was in the Garden of Gethsemane, he asked the Father if there was any way he could be spared the cup of divine wrath coming his way (Matt. 26:36–46). There wasn’t, which he accepted through drops of blood—not because he had failures of his own to pay for, but because he was about to pay for ours. Jesus’ spiritual success led him to a Roman cross for us.

Our failure demanded a price too expensive for us to pay. Jesus paid it all. On the cross, Jesus was condemned in our place. Our sin and guilt were placed on him. He satisfied every drop of God’s wrath we deserved. Remember, God couldn’t just overlook our disobedience and sin—if he did, he would be denying himself. Instead, he provided a perfect sacrifice to free us from the penalty of our spiritual failure, making him just and the justifier of those who have faith in Jesus. (Rom. 3:25–26).

This is why Christians don’t have to be crushed by the fear of failure: we rest in the One who carried our failures to the cross, and Jesus never fails.

Mission Success

I bet you could have heard a pin drop in the cosmos on the Saturday after Jesus’ death. God’s ultimate success story lay silent in a tomb. Praise God, he didn’t stay there! Jesus rose from the grave on the third day, proving his death accomplished everything necessary to bridge the gap between God and man.

Jesus’ triumphant resurrection vindicated his claim to the throne of the universe. It was like the check he cashed went through. The Son cried “it is finished” on the cross; the Father said “it is finished indeed” by raising him from the dead. Because of this victory, even the deepest fear of failure loses its power-Christ’s success is now the foundation for our confidence.

Exchanging Spiritual Failure for Spiritual Success

How do we come to share in Jesus’ success? Only through repentance and faith. We must admit we’re complete spiritual failures with no hope of being anything different on our own. Our best attempts to get in God’s good graces would send us straight to hell. But when we turn away from ourselves and throw ourselves on God’s mercy in Christ, we receive eternal life. This is the only way to silence the fear of failure: by resting in the One whose success covers every place we fall short.

The root of our spiritual failure and all the consequences that come with it is severed not by striving but by trusting. When we trust in Christ alone, he takes on our spiritual failure as his own, and we receive his perfect obedience as our own. Paul captures this “sweet exchange” in 2 Corinthians 5:21: “For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.”

In Christ, the God we’ve offended doesn’t look at us and say “guilty failure” anymore. He looks at us, sees his Son, and says, “righteous child of God.” That truth is what frees believers from the paralyzing fear of failure-we stand in Christ’s righteousness, not our own. Friend, if you haven’t repented and believed this good news, don’t read another word before you do. You can’t overcome your spiritual failure. You can’t pay the price of your sin. Jesus can and did, if you’ll come to him as Lord, Savior, and highest Treasure.

Reflection Questions:

  1. Can you think of other passages in the New Testament that show Jesus’ success where we’ve failed?
  2. How does God answer our spiritual failure in the cross? In the resurrection?
  3. What’s the best part of being rescued from our spiritual failure?

5 Fail, Fight, Fail, Fight

This is probably the chapter you’ve been waiting for. We’re finally ready to talk about how to deal with failure. Specifically, we’re going to think about how our new identity in Jesus and the Spirit’s work inside our hearts helps us live a life pleasing to God-not a perfect life, but a pleasing one nonetheless. The gospel is good news, in part, because it promises gradual victory over our spiritual failings in this life. And as we grow, the Spirit also teaches us how to deal with failure in a way that weakens the fear of failure instead of feeding it.

Now, I use words like “not perfect” and “gradual” above on purpose. Our victory over spiritual failure is assured, but the battle is just getting started. If you expect the Christian life to be one win after another, you’re setting yourself up for discouragement and despair. Overcoming spiritual failure is a lifelong process-it’s a marathon, not a sprint. Learning to keep walking with God while dealing with failure is part of the normal Christian life.

Consider Paul’s words in Philippians 3:12: “Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own.” Even Paul-who wrote more New Testament letters than anyone-hadn’t “arrived” spiritually speaking. He still had work to do in his battle against sin. He still failed and needed God’s help on a daily basis. If the apostle Paul had to learn coping with failure, we shouldn’t be surprised that we do too.

The Bible talks about our “flesh.” “Flesh” doesn’t mean our physical bodies but refers to our fallen, sinful nature. Our flesh wants to push us away from righteousness and toward sin. When we believe the gospel, our flesh is mortally wounded but will still do battle against the Spirit within us until the day we die. You will continue to fail as a Christian. The question isn’t whether failure happens-the question is how you respond when it does, and how the gospel frees you from the crippling fear of failure.

How a Christian Processes Failure

You’ve done it again. That thing you told yourself (and God) you’d never do again. You didn’t see it coming, but it happened. You’ve fallen in your battle against that sin—whatever that sin is in your life. You failed. Again. What do you do next?

Remember

Step one is to go back to what we learned in the last chapter about the gospel. The good news of Jesus’ perfect life, sacrificial death, and triumphant resurrection, received through repentance and faith, was good news when you first believed, and it’s still good news today, no matter how long you’ve been following Jesus. Remembering the gospel is the first step in how to deal with failure-it gives you solid ground when your emotions are overwhelmed by the fear of failure.

To fight spiritual failure, you’ll have to do more than remember your justification—just don’t do less! Your ultimate hope can never be in your spiritual success, even after you’re converted. Have you ever read the story of the Pharisee and the tax collector in Luke 18:9–14?

He (Jesus) also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and treated others with contempt: “Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.’ But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’ I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”

The Pharisee was a spiritual failure but didn’t know it. He disguised self-righteousness as piety—I thank you that I’m not like that guy. The tax collector, in contrast, knew he was a spiritual failure who could only hope for mercy. Which one went home justified?

In the moments when you’re face down on the floor-fresh from another failure-remember that your hope isn’t in your success but in Jesus’ success. His righteousness covers you like a new, clean garment; your old, stinky garments got thrown out a long time ago. Failure, of any kind, doesn’t define you anymore. Jesus defines you now. This is how Christians begin coping with failure: not by denying it, but by rooting their identity in Christ instead of in their performance.

Confess

Now you have the confidence to approach God and tell him, “I’m sorry.” It’s not the time for excuses. Repentance begins with acknowledging our guilt; we need to take God’s side against our sin. Again, this is why it’s so important to understand why we fail spiritually. Ultimately, it’s no one’s fault but our own. Our hearts still feel the tug toward the darkness, and we have to be honest about that.

Have you ever been scared to admit something to someone because you’re afraid of how they’ll react? What do you expect when you come to God with your failure-irritation, fury, wrath? Well, here’s what you should expect: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). Confess your failures early and often because God is going to meet you with grace upon grace. Confession is one of God’s main tools for healing the heart that’s exhausted from dealing with failure.

Did you notice the second thing John promises will happen when we confess our sin? God promises to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Forgiveness is an incredible gift that we need desperately. We also need-and should want-to grow in our ability to say “no” to sin and “yes” to God. The same grace that justifies and forgives also begins renovating our hearts from the inside out. Repent, turn away from your spiritual failure, receive forgiveness, and resolve to continue battling with sin. This is the long, beautiful rhythm of Christian living: failing, fighting, confessing, growing, and trusting. And through it all, God teaches us how to deal with failure without being crushed by the fear of failure.

Fight

Our fight against spiritual failure in this life is just that-a fight. We can’t cleanse ourselves. Only God’s power can make us more into the image of Christ. However, God uses our effort, feeble as it may be sometimes, to grow us in grace. And as we fight, God slowly loosens the grip of the fear of failure, especially when that fear shows up in places like our friendships, ministries, or even “failure at work” moments that leave us discouraged and unsure of ourselves.

Philippians 2:12–13 says, “Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.” Work out your salvation, strive to meet the mark, because God is the one at work in you.

In 2 Thessalonians 1:11–12, Paul captures the same dynamic from a different angle:

To this end we always pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of his calling and may fulfill every resolve for good and every work of faith by his power, so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ.

We resolve for God. We do works of faith. We strive for spiritual success… but always by his power, trusting that every step of obedience is evidence that he is at work in us, making us more like Jesus. So we take baby steps toward our proud Father-even shaky steps count when your strength is in his grace.

What might those baby steps look like for you this week? It’s been said that if you “fail to plan,” then you “plan to fail.” How are you planning to love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength? For some of you, that may mean breaking off a relationship or throwing your computer out the upstairs window. Positively, it may mean setting yourself up for spiritual success by opening your Bible each morning (maybe even before you check your phone). God uses these “resolves for good” to make us more like Jesus—working supernaturally through the ordinary and practical.

At the end of the day, God gets the credit for our successes and we get the blame for our failures. Our dependence on his grace to do anything right is a testament to his saving power and soul-satisfying goodness. If he can take spiritual failures like us and give us even a modicum of genuine spiritual victory in knowing his Son, he deserves all the praise and glory.

Rest

Remember, way back in the first chapter, how we distinguished between spiritual failure and creature failure? I don’t want to leave you without any encouragement on how to handle failure that just happens. Again, not all failure is cut from the same cloth. Sometimes, whatever you tried to do didn’t happen because you aren’t God. Other times, your failure is really the result of someone else’s failure, spiritual or otherwise.

Know that even your creature failures don’t define you. They may not represent a sin requiring repentance, but the gospel should still be your first call when things don’t go your way. You’ll find the power to get up again when life in a fallen world knocks you down because you’ve come to understand you aren’t defined by your ups and downs-you’re defined by Jesus’ blood and righteousness. This is true whether the setback was spiritual, emotional, or something as ordinary as a discouraging failure at work that made you feel small or incompetent. In every case, God’s love holds steady when your plans do not.

Feel the freedom to take wise risks knowing the results won’t change God’s love for you in the slightest. Besides, you aren’t in control of the outcomes anyway, are you? God is. And he knows better than you. That job didn’t pan out? Couldn’t pull off that new ministry at church? God has a reason, even if the reason is to give you an opportunity to trust and glorify him, even in adverse outcomes.

Ultimately, we know God is working all things—our failures included—for our good (Rom. 8:28). Creature failures sting, but they’re overseen by the watchful eye of the one who gave his only Son. Besides, “He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?” (Rom.  8:32). Keep that truth in your back pocket for the next time (and there will be a next time), things don’t go how you hoped.

Reflection Questions:

  1. Think about a recent spiritual failure. How would this framework have helped you process that failure in a more God-honoring, soul-encouraging way?
  2. Do you feel like you can confess your failure to God? Why or why not?
  3. Why is it so hard to trust God when we fail in ways that aren’t directly our fault?


Conclusion

Here’s what I hope you’ve learned from this guide—one failure to another.

We’re failures. Sometimes failure is our fault; sometimes failure is just what happens to people who aren’t God. The story of our failure goes all the way back to the Garden, where Adam sinned and failed to do what God created him to do: worship and obey God above all else. We’re in the same boat as Adam. Our spiritual failure stems from our rebellion against God, finding its source in hearts unwilling and unable to live up to God’s holy standard. If you’ve ever wondered what does the Bible say about failure, this is it: Scripture shows us that failure is universal, rooted in sin, and beyond our ability to fix on our own.

Thankfully, God has provided a solution to our failure and its consequences. Jesus succeeded where the rest of us have failed—always loving God the way we were supposed to. He died on the cross and rose again to pay the penalty for our sins, offering to exchange his perfect record of obedience for our disobedience when we turn away from our sins and trust in him alone for salvation.

Justification is the good news that we’ve been counted righteous before God, even though we’re still failures. Sanctification is the good news that, even though we still fail in various ways, we can grow in our ability to do what God commands by the power of the Holy Spirit. He gives us everything we need to continue getting up when we fail and fall. This is also where learning from failure becomes deeply Christian-not a confidence trick or a self-help slogan, but the slow, Spirit-led process of becoming more like Jesus even as we stumble forward.

As we draw this guide to a close, know that your failure has an expiration date. Justification frees us from the penalty of our spiritual failure, sanctification frees us from the power of our spiritual failure, and glorification will finally free us from the presence of our spiritual failure. One day, when either we go to be with the Lord in death or he returns to bring us to the new heavens and new earth he’s been preparing for us, our sin will be no more, and we won’t be left to the whims of a fallen world. This is the real foundation for how to overcome fear of failure: not by trusting your performance, but by trusting the God who has already guaranteed your future.

In 2 Corinthians 3:18, Paul says, “And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another.” We’re transformed more and more into Christlikeness as we behold the glory of Jesus in the gospel—sanctification comes from seeing more of Jesus!

Then, in 1 John 3:2, we read this: “Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is.” If you belong to Jesus, no matter how much you’ve failed him in this life, you will see him face-to-face, completing your transformation into his image. We deserve God’s eternal wrath, but instead we can anticipate an eternity of happiness around God’s throne—forgiven failures who will never fail again.

Reflection Questions:

  1. Can you explain the difference between justification, glorification, and sanctification? How would that help you or a friend deal with spiritual failure?
  2. What do you most look forward to enjoying in the new heavens and new earth?
  3. How can you prepare for the Last Day now in light of everything you’ve read in this guide?

About the Author

Colton Corter serves as a Senior Pastoral Assistant at River City Baptist Church in Richmond, Virginia. He is married to Lindsey and together they have five children: John, Conrad, Thomas, Mary Kate, and Julia.

#60 How to Stop Being Lazy: Live with Purpose

Part 1: God’s Purpose for Our Work

God is a worker

The Bible famously opens with the line: “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth” (Genesis 1:1). From this one sentence, we learn so much about God. First, we learn that God is eternal—that is, he is outside of time, having always been what he is. Have you ever noticed how Moses (the author of Gensis) simply presupposes God’s existence? Everything else in the universe had to be created but not God. God has always existed. When we explore what does the Bible say about laziness, we must start here: with God’s eternal nature.

Second, we learn that God is capable of extraordinary power. He created the entire world after all! If we keep reading in Genesis, we learn that God’s preferred method for creating is his own voice. Repeatedly the text says, “And God said…” (Genesis 1:3, 6, 9, 11, 14, 20, 24). Upon issuing his powerful word, that which he willed came to be. He is the ultimate example of industry, far removed from being lazy.

Lastly and in bringing these two truths together, we learn that God is not lazy, or, to say it positively, God is a worker.1 Think about it. God has always existed. That means that he is fully sufficient within himself for his own life. And yet, God deliberately chose to act in time to create the world. Imagine coming into a boatload of cash—I’m talking an amount so big, you’d rank right up there with the Bezos’s and Musk’s of the world. What would be your first move after counting the zeros? I bet many of us would stop working and succumb to being lazy. But not God. God, the only eternal, completely sufficient, and entirely satisfied one chose to work to bring about the world.

God created us to be workers like him

Okay so God is a worker and he worked to create the entire world and everything in it. Got it. Let’s zero in on where you and I come into this story. Genesis 1:26 says, “Then God said, ‘Let us make man in or image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.’” Like we can learn so much about God from Gensis 1:1, we can learn so much about ourselves from Genesis 1:26.

We’re made to be like God. Now (as a quick PSA), there are legitimate ways in which you and I will never be like him. There is a “Godness” to God that we will never share in. In case this surprises you, we only need to re-examine Genesis 1:1 and 1:26 to realize God is, in some ways, utterly unique. He is Creator and we are created. He has life in himself, and our lives are from him. He can work to make the world from nothing, whereas our work requires preexisting material provided by God. All this is just to name a few points of distinction lest we get too big for our britches, as my grandmother would say.

And yet, there are real ways in which we are like God. Specifically, we’re made to work. God works and so we work. Look back at Genesis 1:1. Who has dominion over the heavens and the earth? God. That is, he creates the world and so he has charge over it—aka he can work in it as he pleases. We get this, right? Creating power transfers to governing authority. Now look at Genesis 1:26 again and ask yourself that same question—who has dominion? Answer—we do! Wow! God creates and charges us with the responsibility to rule over everything he made. Wow! So work is a part of the human job description—it’s part of what it means to bear God’s image. This is a crucial concept when understanding what does the Bible say about laziness and our created purpose.

Sometimes work is wrongly associated with the Fall of man as though, if it weren’t for sin there would be no reason to work. But notice work is a justifying ground to humanity’s existence before sin even entered the picture. It is a part of the created order unstained by sin and death. So next time you think to associate work with something bad or find yourself justifying laziness at work, you should stop and remind yourself, “God made me to work. This is part of why I exist.”

God Calls Us to Work for His Glory

Okay, God made us to work. The next question we need to get at is why. The first answer the Bible offers us is the utilitarian one and we see that in the passage we’ve been staring at—Genesis 1:26-28. We were created to steward the things that God has made. Plants, animals, and everything else is under the care of image-bearing humanity, and under humanity’s care, these things should flourish. When Moses retells the story of God creating Adam and Eve in Genesis 2, he writes, “The LORD God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it” (Gen 2:15). The call to work and keep indicate a responsibility to maintain and expand; to preserve and improve. From this we learn that God made the world good but with the capacity to increase. We also learn that man was his chosen vessel to bring about that increase. So, human work has a utility in God’s design.

The Bible also offers us a teleological purpose for human work. Don’t stress that big t-word. It just means something like ultimate or final. There is an ultimate purpose for our work and it doesn’t terminate on the here and now. Yes, God wants Adam to expand the garden of Eden such that it covers the entire earth but not for the garden’s sake and not even for Adam’s sake, though both of those things are in play. No, God ultimately wants Adam to do this for his own sake—for God’s own glory.

That’s why, in the New Testament, Christians are instructed to “. . . work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men. . .” (Col. 3:23). What does this mean practically? It means that every practical matter of work in your life has a bigger purpose than you probably realize. Rather than being an annoying feature in your life that you try to minimize or treat with laziness at work, you should go about your work recognizing that God is brought glory when you work for him.

I remember once being asked by my dad to move a pile of wood from the front of the house to the backyard. Being only eight or nine years old, to my eye my dad might as well of asked me to clear the forest behind our house of all its timber. I felt dread at the size of the task. But then I noticed something of an opportunity you may call it. As I was hauling the first wheelbarrow’s load of wood, I noticed that there was a rather large pine in our side yard with sprawling, low-lying branches. Like the Grinch in Dr. Seus’s world, I got “. . . an awful idea! . . . a wonderful, awful idea.” I had to act fast though. At eight, it was hard to know when the adults were wise to your schemes. I quickly started rolling the logs under the that pine tree. It cut the distance down by 75% and, therefore, I was done in a quarter of the time it should have taken.

There was only one problem. On the side of our house just feet from that pine, there was a window. And it just so happened my dad was standing in that window, watching me toss every single log under that tree. I was caught and the judge sentenced me maximally. What hurt more than the punishment I received, however, was the fact that I should have obeyed my dad because he was my dad and I loved him. I remember him asking me, “Taylor, why would you disobey me? I love you and you can trust me that when I ask you to do something it is for your good and our family’s good. Why would you distrust and disobey?” Those were penetrating questions.

Reflecting back on my rough and wild eight-year-old ways, an important lesson about working for the glory of God rises to the surface. Part of what it means to work for his glory is to be motivated by love, not only our love for God but also his love for us. You see, God has given us everything we have. What do we have that we haven’t received? Answer: not one iota. God has richly blessed us with all things. His commands intend to bring even more blessings as there is safety in fearing him alone. Working then for his glory should be a given. There is just one problem. Like when I was eight. . . we’re often tempted to cut corners, do less, shirk responsibility, begrudge accountability, and despise work. Why? That question leads us to the section of this life skill guide regarding the causes of laziness.

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Reflection Questions:

  1. Search your heart and answer honestly: how do you feel about work? Why?
  2. In what ways are you currently tempted to be lazy or practice the art of laziness?
  3. How does work bring glory to God?

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Part 2: What Is Laziness and Why Does It Exist?

What is laziness?

I’ll offer you a simple definition of what is laziness. Laziness is being uninterested or unwilling to do what you’re supposed to do in favor of being idle or overindulging in easier, more enjoyable things like sleep, watching tv, doom scrolling, or some other unproductive activity. You might ask “why am I so lazy?” Here’s my bet though—you probably don’t need a definition of laziness in order to spot it in your life and in others’ lives. Laziness stands out.

A wife asked her husband to take out the trash, but he waits until the football game is over. Then he waits until the next football game is over. Then he waits until morning. What was he being? Among other things, lazy!

A university student has a big exam he needs to ace in order to pass his chemistry class, but he waits to study until after he watches an episode of his favorite show on Netflix. And then another episode. And another episode. And pretty soon he’s on the phone with his mom informing her that he flunked out of school. What do we have here? Again, laziness, or procrastination and laziness.

A dad yells up the stairs to his teenage son asking him to go clean the garage, but it’s only 10 AM and it’s a Saturday! The son decides to sleep through the request and before he knows it it’s 1:30 PM. One more time
. . . being lazy!

What about you? In what ways are you struggling with laziness? My hunch is that one of the clearest forms laziness takes today is wasted time spent on our smart phones. I don’t have stats to back that up (though I would bet they’re out there!), but short-term content makes it too easy for someone to think to themselves, “Just one more video and then I’ll get to work on that project.” One video then becomes thirty minutes or even an hour’s worth of videos and you haven’t done one thing in regard to your work. Call it procrastination, therapy for anxiety (or maybe you think it’s adhd and laziness), or something else. Whatever it is, it’s not short of laziness.

Whatever your lazy “drug” of choice is, identify it now. Knowing your proclivities will help make this life skill guide more productive for you.

Why does laziness exist?

Okay, so laziness is shirking responsibility in favor of something easy. It’s not doing what you’re supposed to do when you’re supposed to do it. We now move to the issue of laziness’s existence. Why can’t we just be born into a world where we want to do what we’re supposed to do when we’re supposed to do and never are tempted to be lazy instead. Well, the short answer is sin. This addresses the question “is laziness a sin?”. Sin’s entrance into the world messed a bunch of stuff up including the goodness of man’s labors and his enjoyment in them. This is one of the root causes of laziness.

Remember Adam, the first man who was placed in the Garden of Eden? Well, his sin affected not only him but all of us. In fact, in some sense, we were in him and represented by him when he sinned. Paul writes to the Roman church, “Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death spread to all men because all sinned. . .” (Rom. 5:12). So sin and death and everything else that is wrong in this world including laziness came through Adam’s sin. Now, you may be thinking, “Wow. What a raw deal! I wasn’t even there and I have to pay for Adam’s mess up?” Not so fast, my friend. Yes, we sinned in Adam. But we also personally and regularly sin all the time. We sin volitionally, happily, and sometimes with little to no remorse after the fact, admitting “I am lazy” only when caught. So, sin, death, and everything bad including laziness exists because Adam’s sin, but it also exists because of ours. This is the reality of laziness in the Bible.

What are laziness’s consequences?

So, laziness is not doing what you’re supposed to do when you’re supposed to do it, and it exists because we are all sinners. The next question we need to get at is what are laziness’s consequences. The Bible does not mince words answering this question. A sampling of lazy scriptures in the Bible and Bible verses about laziness is in order.

– “A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, and poverty will come upon you like a robber, and want like an armed man.” — Proverbs 6:10-11
– “The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied.”
— Proverbs 13:4
– “A slack hand causes poverty, but the hand of the diligent makes rich.” — Proverbs 10:4
– “Through sloth the roof sinks in, and through indolence the house leaks.” — Ecclesiastes 10:18
– “For even when we were with you, we would give you this command: If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat. For we hear that some among you walk in idleness, not busy at work, but busybodies. Now such persons we command and encourage in the Lord Jesus Christ to do their work quietly and to earn their own living.”— 2 Thessalonians 3:10-12
– “Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord.” — Romans 12:11

From these passages, we see that laziness causes poverty, hunger, and even the breaking of fellowship between believers in the church. Stiff costs! What’s worse is that Jesus clearly teaches that spiritual laziness leads to eternal ruin (Matthew 25:23).

My friend, if you’re tempted to practice the art of laziness, then you’re probably familiar with lines of reasoning that go something like: “What’s five more minutes?” “I don’t need to do that thing now, I can later!” “If I don’t read my Bible today it isn’t the worst thing. I need sleep.” Be very careful. Laziness lures you in and then lulls you to sleep. The problem is that you can’t guarantee that you’ll wake from your slumber. Laziness will cost you now and it will cost you dearly in the end. I hope that one of the reasons you were attracted to this guide in the first place is because you understand the risks associated with laziness and want to ward them off and stop being lazy. I pray that the Lord give you great success in overcoming laziness.

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Reflection Questions:

  1. How is laziness a sin?
  2. What are some costs associated with laziness?
  3. How does counting the costs encourage you to work hard and not be lazy?

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Part 3: The Why and How of Discipline

The why of discipline

Thomas Edison sent the following recommendations to a youth assembly that requested a message from him on how to stop being lazy:

  1. Always be interested in whatever you undertake.
  2. Don’t mind the clock, but keep at it, and let nature indicate the necessity of rest.
  3. Failures, so called, are the fingerposts pointing out the right direction to those who are willing to learn.
  4. Hard work and a genuine interest in everything that makes for human progress will make men and women more valuable and acceptable to themselves and to the world.2

Pretty good advice, I must say. These points show that Edison was in favor of youth growing in discipline and learning how to stop being lazy. Granted, he wasn’t overly specific in what they should show discipline in. In fact, in his first point he indicates that one should let interest lead to discipline in whatever it is that their hand finds to do. My mother would amen this sentiment only she would say something more akin to, “If it’s worth doing, then it’s worth doing right.” This mindset leaves no room for the art of laziness.

So, whatever you do, according to Thomas, you should do with interest and discipline. But what should you do? He answers that one’s interest and discipline should aim at human progress. Hard work, in other words, is about more than the work itself; it is the key to overcoming laziness. Hard work is about advancement, and not only advancement of self, but advancement of everyone else starting with those closest to you.

We’ve already thought about how work is intended to bring glory to God and explored what does the Bible say about laziness. But in order to better understand what kind of work best brings God glory we need to consider our work’s impact on others. Edison was onto something in his last point though he didn’t here ground it in God’s glory. What we want to do now is show the relationship between bringing God glory by advancing others with our work even as we ourselves grow and avoid becoming lazy at work.

In order to see this relationship, let’s consider the two greatest commandments. Jesus was once approached by a lawyer who asked him, “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” (Matt. 22:36). He offered two answers for the price of one question. Jesus said, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (vv. 37-39). In his first answer, Jesus basically says that the highest aim for a human to have is bringing God glory by loving him, the ultimate cure for spiritual laziness. The Shorter Catechism summarizes this law in its answer to the question, “What is the chief end of man?”It answers, “Man’s chief end is to glorify God and to enjoy him forever.”3

So, your whole life, Christian, is to be about bringing glory to God and you do this, in part, by showing discipline and working hard, refusing to be defined by being lazy. Jesus’s second commandment then helps us fill in what kind of discipline brings glory to God—the kind that loves and advances neighbor. You should labor then to do good to others both materially and spiritually and you should do so out of love for God and others.

You may even say that this is what the Bible means by discipline: using your life to love God and neighbor. This is the secret to how to overcome laziness. Is that how you approach your work whatever that work may be? Or to you, is your why behind your work something more like a paycheck or a checked box? Take stock, my friend. Are you giving in to procrastination and laziness? The Bible calls you to something more than punching the clock. You punch the clock and work with excellence so that you can demonstrate God’s goodness to you and provide for those he has put under you and beside you. You punch the clock to glorify God and love neighbor. That must be our why behind work if our work is to be acceptable and pleasing to the Lord and if we truly want to stop being lazy.

The how of discipline

Now begins our descent into the practical, starting now and finishing in the next section.

My oldest son was born on June 4, 2024. Within twenty-four hours of his birth, I learned a very important lesson: he wasn’t concerned about my sleep . . . AT ALL. He didn’t care one bit that it was 2AM and every other decent person in our time zone was asleep. He was awake and that fact demanded that I be also. Those first five months were tough for my wife and me. We were very tired. The work was very hard.

And yet, knowing that the purpose of our lives was to love God and neighbor (especially those neighbor’s closest to us, which in this case was my boy) made all the difference. It stopped me from asking “why am I so lazy?” and helped me act. What would God have me do at 2 AM when my son would wake in a fit? Give him something to eat, change his diaper, sing him a song, or rock him to sleep. Why? Because caring for my son in faith did good to him and brought God glory.

In some sense, the how of discipline starts by passing everything through the filter of love for God and neighbor. This is the foundation for overcoming laziness. Will this action display God’s character to the world? Will it advance my neighbor? Asking yourself these questions will not only help you say no to the wrong things and stop being lazy, but it will also motivate you to work hard while doing the right things.

Speaking of the right things, I would be amiss to not mention that the best work that you can do for someone else and thereby most glorify God is spiritual in nature. We must be vigilant against spiritual laziness. Don’t get me wrong, it is good to give water to the thirst, food to the hunger, shelter to the homeless. It is good to take your kids to school each morning, to refill the water jug at work when it’s empty (and not be lazy at work), to shovel your neighbor’s sidewalk after it snows. These material acts of service or showings of hard work which serve neighbor and so glorify God are good things to do, so do more of them!

But the most important work you can do is spiritual in nature. That doesn’t mean everyone reading this should quit their jobs and go to seminary with plans of becoming a pastor (though some of you should!). What it does mean, however, is that your highest aim in work should be to tell the truth about who God is and help other people understand what it means to follow him. After all, to be a Christian requires that you believe Heaven and Hell are real places, that Jesus is the only way to find forgiveness for sin, and that the best life one can live is by following Jesus. Believing all that, what good have you actually done your neighbor if you take out their trash but don’t tell them how they can be right with God?

The last thing I want to say on this matter is that the material and spiritual acts of service or showings of hard work are not mutually exclusive. Why do you take your children to school? Well, it’s so that they can learn to read and grow in their ability to think critically. The benefits of an education will help them greatly when they’re older and in need of a job. You know what else an education will help them do? Read their Bibles where they will learn more and more what God is like? So again, why should you see to your children gaining an education? So that they grow to become contributing members of society AND so they learn to know and love the Lord their God.

Let’s try another one just to make sure you get the point. Why do you choose to serve breakfast to the homeless at your community’s local soup kitchen on a Saturday morning instead of sleeping in? Instead of practicing the art of laziness? A legitimate aim should be to ensure that those who are hungry leave full! But your even higher goal should be that those being served see and hear in your act of service and in your speech something about Jesus, who is the Bread of Life (John 6:35).

You see, the material acts of service which are the fruit of your labor serve the spiritual. You work to serve your spouse, your children, your church, your employer, your friends, and your community to glorify God and make their lives better even as you point them to eternal life in Jesus. There are so many goods available to you if you would just work for them. But make no mistake, being lazy will cost you every one of them. If you labor for others, you could lift them up to God such that they see his grace and receive it even as their material needs are met. If you choose to be lazy, however, and you can forget having such a big impact.

In this we learn that laziness feels self-serving, but it actually costs a lot. This realization is crucial for learning how to stop being lazy. The temptation to laziness says, “You’ll be better off to take care of yourself in this moment by not doing what you’re supposed to do.” Saying yes to that line though requires that you pass on blessing others with your labor and so bringing glory to God. If you pass on such a chance, not only will others pay for it, but you will also. Remember that you can never actually serve yourself by doing other than what God made you to do, and he made you to love him and to love your neighbor.

Okay, in this section we’ve said that the why behind hard work is to bring glory to God and do good to others. We’ve also seen that these two aims are intertwined and create a filter by which we can begin to understand what work we should say yes to, helping us defeat procrastination and laziness. Lastly, we’ve noted that the most important work we can do is spiritual in nature though this often works alongside and through material work.

So, you should be motivated to work hard and ward off discipline. You should even have some conceptual idea of what that will require. In our next and final section, we will take a look at a gameplan by which you can begin taking steps in that direction.

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Reflection Questions:

  1. What is the relationship between loving God and neighbor?
  2. How does thinking about your work as advancing others help you want to work hard and stop asking “why am I so lazy”?
  3. How does material work relate to spiritual work?
  4. Why is spiritual work the most important work we can do?

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Part 4: The Gameplan

Time for some truth in advertising. Most of what we’ve covered so far is mandatory for Christians. Loving God and neighbor, for example, isn’t optional, its required. What we’re now going to do is lay out some suggestions for how you can get started becoming a more disciplined person and learn how to stop being lazy. I really think these can help you, but I don’t want you thinking that these are bullet-proof guarantees. What’s more is that I don’t want you getting the idea that these are the only things you can or should do in order to grow in discipline. There are a thousand practical things we can do to become more disciplined. Consider these a starting point then and go from here.

Have a plan

It’s amazing what little you can accomplish without a plan. Having a purpose often rides on the back of having a plan. My friend, if you are a lazy person today, battling procrastination and laziness, then it will likely require some semblance of a plan in order to become a disciplined person tomorrow.

I already told you that my son was born on June 4, 2024. An amazing thing happened three months later. I watched my wife run a half marathon, carrying my three-month-old in her arms as she crossed the finish line (No, he didn’t ride with her for 13.1—I handed him to her with 100 yards to go). Watching her pull that off left me feeling as proud as maybe I’ve ever been. I left the race with her that day thinking, “I need to run a marathon. If she can do it, so can I.”

There was only one problem—I despise running. I used to joke, “I only run when dribbling a basketball or being chased.” I hate(d) every part of running. It felt like the art of laziness was more my speed. But a marathon I set out to run! Here’s what I quickly learned: going from 0 running to running 26.1 miles requires a plan—a plan that is composed of a thousand different steps. It feels like everything goes into 26.1 miles: nutrition, sleep, stretching, slow runs, fast runs, run in between, and yes, loads of ice and ibuprofen. All these things have to be a part of the plan.

I learned of my need for a plan the hard way. How do you run a marathon? Well, you go for your first run and simply run as far and fast as you can until you can run 26.1. Then you keep doing that every day until race day. My first run was 2 miles, and I was pretty certain it would be the end of me. I quickly learned that pacing, training according to heart rate, taking days off, and ramping up slowly were requirements if I was to actually be able to go the distance. These things also had to go into the plan.

Guess what? In 2025, I ran my first two marathons (slowly albeit)! That would have never happened if I didn’t have a plan. You and I need a plan to help direct our effort in overcoming laziness.

Okay, so you want to be disciplined and that requires a plan. What goes into a good plan? First, you need to prioritize the most important things. Second, you need to decide how you’ll spend your time. Third, you need to limit distractions and eliminate excuses (like claiming it’s just adhd and laziness). And finally, you need to evaluate in order to improve. Let’s break these down.

Starting with priorities. If you’re a Christian, your highest aim is to love the Lord your God and you can’t do this without spending time with him in his Word and in prayer. Many Christinas find the morning time best for these spiritual disciplines. The Bible doesn’t, however, specify when you must read. If anything, the picture we get from Scripture is that we should all the time be in God’s Word. Joshua wrote to the children of Israel, “This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success” (Josh. 1:8). Similarly, Paul wrote to the Colossians, “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly…” (Col. 3:16). How can you meditate of God’s Word or allow Christ’s word to you to dwell richly in your heart if you’re never spending time reading your Bible or praying?

My friend, if you’re not disciplined in spiritual things, succumbing to spiritual laziness, then your discipline in other things is of little importance. So, ask yourself when is the best time for you to daily have a quiet time? If you’re not accustomed to spending time in God’s Word and prayer daily, then start with fifteen minutes a day where you read and pray. Whatever time of day it ends up being, be sure to be disciplined and do it every day.

The second priority I would encourage you to focus on is your family. You may be a spouse, a parent, a sibling. You’re definitely a son or daughter. Whatever you are, focus on building into your family relationships. Serve those whom God has given you. Work to show care at your family members’ points of need. Prioritize laboring for them over mindless activities like doom scrolling, which are common causes of laziness. This one can be a challenge for me. After a long day, I might feel lazy at work and just want to come home and sit in a quiet room and catch up on the news. But do you know where my toddler wants me to be? On the floor playing with blocks or building blanket forts or reading Big Truck Little Island. Which do you think is the better choice? Serving my kid every time. Whatever those kinds of chances are in your life, take them and stop being lazy.

A third priority I strongly encourage you to be disciplined in is care for your fellow church members. The New Testament is full of “one another” commands. These are obligations which church members have to one another. Love one another. Serve one another. Pray for one another. Admonish one another. The collective weight of these commands leads us to conclude that our membership in our churches is a big deal! You may be thinking, “What does membership have to do with discipline?” It has a lot to do with it when Sunday morning rolls around and you’re tempted to skip church for a sleep in or going to play golf with your work buddies. When your choice is to serve self or serve your church family, do not give in to spiritual laziness; be disciplined and serve your church family.

A fourth priority you should be disciplined in is your work. Whether your vocation is doctor or lawyer or stay at home mom, God has given you a work to do, and you should do it unto him. This means that you don’t cut corners. You don’t steal time from your employer. You don’t get lazy at work. You don’t lie. You don’t slander your colleagues. You don’t discipline your children in anger. You avoid procrastination and laziness. Positively, it means doing your best. Doing what you can to make the lives of those around you better. Contributing ideas and effort to improving your company or family’s welfare. Whatever you do during the “9-5” hours, do with your whole heart and unto the glory of God.

You should plan good in each one of these areas. Think about practical ways you can be a more disciplined follower of Christ, spouse or parent or child, church member, worker, and learn how to stop being lazy. Write those things down in a plan for overcoming laziness and then get to work.

Find accountability

Okay, get a plan. Good. The next step is to share your plan with someone else. You could start with someone who is already at arm’s reach like a spouse; or, a great place to go would be to your church. Ask a fellow member to review your plan and hold you accountable. To this end, I think we too often imagine that our business is none of our fellow church members’ business. Maybe we’re fine with someone asking us about our prayer lives or how our evangelism is going, but they better not mention our finances or our eating habits or our family relationships. My friend, if you’re tempted to hold to a “private” kind of Christianity like this, hiding your procrastination and laziness, then I would especially encourage you to find someone trustworthy in your church and transparently share your entire plan for growing in discipline with them. Not only will you gain accountability, which is very helpful when it comes to overcoming laziness and growing in discipline, but you also learn to walk alongside others as they walk alongside you. Accountability is necessary to grow in discipline and transparency, and interdependency is necessary to grow spiritually. On this one we have a two for one special!

Pray often

It is startling how often I am under the allusion that I can grow without prayer. I wonder if you’re ever like me in this, asking “why am I so lazy” but not praying about it. My friend, growing in discipline and learning how to stop being lazy will require strength that you don’t have and wisdom that you can’t conjure up. Spare me one more bit on marathon running. I am currently signed up for my third race. The difference this time is that I hired a coach. The planning was too elaborate, and I simply didn’t know enough in order to optimize my training. So, I hired a coach who I could call and ask, “What should I do here?”

We already talked about being disciplined by going to God’s Word (reading Bible verses about laziness) and praying. Here I want to emphasize praying to God for help specifically when it comes to growing in discipline. At the beginning of the day, pray something like this: “Lord, I know I am prone to waste time and being lazy. Please help me today to know how to serve you and others to the full capacity of strength that you have afforded me.” Then, as you get to work, ask the Lord: “Lord, is it wise for me to spend time doing this? Does this glorify you or should I do something else? Help me avoid laziness in the Bible sense. I need wisdom, please give it to me!” James writes, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him” (James 1:5).

Discipline too often is imagined to be something you do in your own strength to fix the causes of laziness. Christian discipline isn’t like that at all. That’s because Christianity is predicated on the understanding that you don’t have any strength that doesn’t come from God. Do you want to grow in discipline? You’ll need the Lord’s help. So, pray. Pray a lot. The Lord hears the prayers of his children and he delights to answer.

Rest

Finally, let me encourage you in your pursuit of discipline, remember to rest. God has given you your life to glorify him through service and service requires discipline. That is true. However, God has also given you rest in order to rejuvenate your body and soul. You’re not going to bat 1000, and even if you get close, sometimes you need to sit and rest. Sometimes you need to simply enjoy what God has given you whether that be a book or a movie or a nap or a walk. I lead a community group at my church and we’re currently studying Ecclesiastes. Of course, Ecclesiastes has a lot to say about work and what does the Bible say about laziness. But I was struck by the directedness of the writer on the point about rest and enjoying what God has given. He writes, “Everyone also to whom God has given wealth and possessions and power to enjoy them, and to accept his lot and rejoice in his toil—this is the gift of God” (Ecc. 5:18).

Rest reminds us of my previous point which is that we’re dependent on God. Rest rejuvenates our body and our soul. Rest encourages us where we would otherwise be tempted to burnout. Rest glorifies God because it allows us to enjoy what God has given.

So, my friend, don’t neglect to rest in your pursuit of discipline. Appropriate amounts of rest won’t make you lazy or guilty of being lazy. In fact, appropriate rest is necessary to be disciplined and avoid procrastination and laziness. So, rest and enjoy what God has given.

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Reflection Questions:

  1. What part of this gameplan regarding how to stop being lazy sounds most difficult for you? Why?
  2. Have you had accountability before? In what form? How did you find it helpful?
  3. Who do you have in your life right now who you can be accountable to?

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Conclusion

Discipline is something you’ll need to chase your entire life. It’s not as though one day you win a discipline trophy and for the rest of your days you get to rest on your laurels. No, disciplined people are disciplined because they keep saying yes to what they’re supposed to do when they’re supposed to do it. Nobody is perfect but real growth is possible such that we can be typified by this kind of discipline, successfully overcoming laziness. And we should want to be because discipline brings glory to God. It underscores our having been made in God’s image. It serves those around us. And lastly, by being disciplined, we ourselves grow and stop being lazy.

So, you’ve read this entire guide on how to overcome laziness. What are you going to do now? I pray that the answer is that you’re going to get busy for the glory of God and for the good of others.

Endnotes

  1. I am not saying that God’s existence outside of his creative work in the world is characterized by laziness or that he only began to work at the time in which he created. Rather, I am considering God’s free choice to act outside of himself in order to create the world for his good pleasure. His choice was free in that he was under no requirement to act. And yet, act he did.
  2. Zuck, Roy B. The Speaker’s Quote Book: Over 4,500 Illustrations and Quotations for All Occasions. Grand Rapids, MI: Kregel Publications, 1997.
  3. The Westminster Shorter Catechism: With Scripture Proofs. 3rd edition. Oak Harbor, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc., 1996.

About the Author

TAYLOR HARTLEY serves as the editorial director at 9Marks in Washington, D.C. He is married to his wife, Rachel, and together they have one son, Bode. Taylor earned his M.Div. from Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and is currently working on his Th.M. at London Seminary in the UK.