#63 Resisting Peer Pressure: Standing Firm in Faith

By John P. Nappo

I. Introduction: The Weight of the Crowd

As I talked to my friend, I could tell that the experience completely changed him. He said to me:

I remember it like it was yesterday. Everything in the house began to rattle, then shake and then fly off the shelfs. I was living in California and ‘IT’ was an earthquake—a big one. The ground was moving up and down like a surfboard on the ocean. At first, I was in shock and then reality set in, and I ran out of the house into the streets only to find that it was worse outside. After about a minute, which seemed like an hour, everything got eerily calm. As you can imagine this earthquake was the scariest and most powerful thing I have ever seen.

I could not even begin to imagine what he went through.

Like an earthquake, peer pressure is one of the most powerful forces that shapes our lives. Unlike an earthquake, peer pressure doesn’t usually shout—it whispers. It rarely demands—it gently suggests. But the effects of peer pressure are profound. Peer pressure can pull us into sin, silence our convictions, and steer us away from God’s path. It affects students in the classroom, adults in the workplace, and even leaders in ministry. And while society may downplay peer pressure as a teenage issue, Scripture reveals that the desire to fit in has always been a temptation to the human heart.

So, here’s a definition.

Peer pressure is the temptation to believe or behave in a certain way because our friends or people around us expect us to, or, at least, we think they do. 

We have a desire to please others and, in the process, compromise our beliefs or morals. We want to be accepted. We don’t want to stick out from the crowd. And so, we go along—even when we know better.

From the very beginning, God has called His people to live differently—to resist the pressure of the world and walk the narrow road of righteousness. Consider Solomon’s word in Proverbs, “My son, if sinful men entice you, do not give in to them.” The reality is that sinful people will entice you. The question is not whether you face peer pressure, but how you respond when it comes.

One of the most direct commands in Scripture regarding peer pressure is found in Romans 12:2 where Paul writes, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”

Paul warns that the world is always trying to press us into its mold—into its way of thinking, acting, speaking, and living. The spirit of this world comes against us in the physical realm in all kinds of ways but be assured of this, his goal is not our flesh. He is out for our souls—to steal, kill and destroy.

The pressure to conform isn’t just about external behaviors either. It’s about internal loyalties. Will we serve the God who calls us to holiness, or will we follow the world that leads to destruction?

I’ll never forget how peer pressure almost destroyed my (now) wife, Patricia. It was when we first met. I moved to Colorado out of high school where I met Patricia. We really hit it off. After a few months into our growing relationship, I took a trip back to Buffalo, where I was from. While at home, I spent some time with my childhood friends. Over the course of a week, they convinced me to breakup with Patricia. When I returned to Colorado, I gave her the proverbial “we should just be friends” talk. It didn’t go over well. She was crushed. The truth is that I was too. The decision to breakup with Patricia wasn’t mine. My friends pressured me into it. The silly part is that I don’t even remember their reasoning! I did it because I wanted them to accept me.

Thankfully God is bigger than my  peer pressure. Patricia and I have  been married for 43 years. We have four kids and ten grandchildren. Occasionally she still reminds me of how foolish I had been. The good news is that God is able to overcome our weaknesses and redeem our failures.

Discussion Questions:

  1. What comes to your mind, when it comes to peer pressure?
  2. What are some of the forces in your life where you feel the most pressure?
  3. Who are the people that influence you the most?

The Bible shares a number of examples where the pressure of the crowd influenced Gods people in very harmful ways. Maybe you will be able to relate to some of these situations:

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#63 Resisting Peer Pressure: Standing Firm in Faith

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