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Table of Contents

Introduction: A Call to Engage the Darkness
Part I: Why We Must Engage the Darkness
Part II: Overcoming Fear and Taking Spirit-Led Risks
Part III: Practical Ways to Reach the Hurting and Lost
Part IV: Maintaining an Eternal Perspective as Wives and Mothers
Conclusion: The Call to Shine in the Darkness

Pushing Back the Darkness

by Rachelle Starr

Introduction: A Call to Engage the Darkness

It was a typical Thursday night at Scarlet Hope, our ministry dedicated to reaching women in the adult entertainment industry. As our team entered the strip club, arms laden with home-cooked meals, the familiar haze of smoke and despair hung heavy in the air. Little did I know that God was about to move in a powerful way, reminding me once again why he calls us out of our comfort zones and into the darkness.

As I served plates of hot food, a young woman stumbled in, clearly intoxicated and clutching a duffel bag. Her story spilled out between sobs — she was desperate to feed her five hungry children at home. The club manager had told her she’d have to audition by dancing nude, so she’d been drinking to muster the courage. In that moment, my heart shattered for her, and I felt the Holy Spirit prompt me to speak.

“Jesus loves you,” I said softly, “and he sent us here to tell you that.”

Right there, under the harsh glow of neon lights, this precious woman wept and prayed to receive Christ. When she told me her name was Scarlet, I couldn’t help but marvel at God’s redemptive work unfolding before my eyes.

This encounter encapsulates why God calls us as Christian women to step beyond the safety of our church walls. He wants us to be his hands and feet in a hurting world, pushing back the darkness by boldly carrying his light.

I know it can feel overwhelming, especially when you’re juggling the demands of family life, career, and daily responsibilities. It’s tempting to confine our faith to comfortable, familiar spaces. But Jesus didn’t shy away from the messiness of ministry, and neither should we. He touched lepers, defended adulteresses, and dined with sinners. He consistently went out of his way to reach society’s outcasts with his love.

As his followers, we’re called to do the same. Whether it’s walking into a strip club, serving at a homeless shelter, visiting an inmate, or sharing the gospel with a neighbor, God wants to use you to impact eternity. Even if you feel ill-equipped or unsure where to start, he can work through your willing heart.

I’ve been on this journey of radical faith for more than 17 years now, ever since God first called me to minister to women in the sex industry in my 20s. Let me tell you, it’s been a wild, terrifying, and exhilarating ride of trusting him and watching him work. From that initial “yes” to bringing home-cooked meals to a strip club, to now leading a thriving ministry that reaches women across the country, every step has been a journey of faith.

But it all began with a single step of obedience — being available and willing to follow God out of my comfort zone into the unknown. That’s precisely what I want to challenge and equip you to do through this guide. I want to inspire you to engage in pushing back darkness for the sake of the gospel and God’s glory.

In the sections that follow, we’ll explore:

  • Why engaging the darkness is our calling as Christians
  • How to overcome fear and take Spirit-led risks
  • Practical ways to reach the lost and hurting
  • Maintaining an eternal perspective as busy wives and mothers
  • Walking in the Holy Spirit’s protection and guidance
  • The urgency and importance of this mission

I’ll share inspiring stories from my own journey, practical tips I’ve learned along the way, and most importantly, point you back to God’s Word as our ultimate guide. My prayer is that by the end of this guide, you’ll feel empowered and ignited with fresh passion to step out and shine for Jesus in whatever dark spaces he’s calling you to enter.

 

Are you ready to embark on this journey? Are you willing to say “yes” to God’s call, even if it means stepping out of your comfort zone? The adventure awaits, and the impact of your obedience could echo into eternity. Let’s begin!

Part I: Why We Must Engage the Darkness

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” – John 1:5

This powerful verse from John’s Gospel encapsulates the heart of why we, as believers, must actively push back against the darkness in our world. We carry within us the only light that can truly overcome the shadows of sin, despair, and brokenness. When we look around, it’s clear that darkness abounds — poverty, violence, addiction, exploitation, sickness, broken families — the list seems endless and overwhelming.

Yet, amid all this brokenness, there is hope. There is good news. There is Jesus! He is the one who came to “seek and save the lost” (Luke 19:10), to “set the captives free” (Luke 4:18), to “heal the brokenhearted” (Ps. 147:3), and to reconcile us to God (2 Cor. 5:18). Jesus declares himself the “light of the world” (John 8:12), and incredibly, he chooses to shine through us, his church.

The Apostle Paul beautifully articulates this reality in 2 Corinthians 4:6–7:  

For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.

We are those jars of clay, ordinary vessels carrying an extraordinary light.

In fact, in the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus tells us, “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden… Let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven” (Matt. 5:14–16).

This calling is both a tremendous privilege and a weighty responsibility. We possess the cure that our dying world desperately needs — the hope that can pierce through even the darkest night. How can we possibly keep this to ourselves?

Consider the parable of the Good Samaritan in Luke 10:25–37. Jesus tells this story in response to the question, “Who is my neighbor?” The Samaritan, unlike the priest and Levite, saw the beaten man’s need and engaged with compassion. He didn’t walk by on the other side of the road. He got involved, even at personal cost. This parable challenges us to see the hurting around us and to take action, regardless of societal boundaries or personal discomfort.

Engaging the darkness isn’t optional if we truly want to walk in obedience to God. Jesus made it clear that following him would often lead us into uncomfortable, even dangerous situations. He warned his disciples, “If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you” (John 15:18). He told them they would face persecution, opposition, and trials for his name’s sake.

But along with these sobering realities, Jesus also gave powerful promises. He assured us that his light in us would be unquenchable (Matt. 5:14). He declared that his perfect love would cast out all fear (1 John 4:18). He provides the shield of faith, “with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one” (Eph. 6:16). 

When we truly grasp what we possess as children of God, it changes everything. We no longer have to shrink back in fear or settle for a shallow, comfortable faith. We can step out with holy confidence, knowing that the same Spirit that raised Christ from the dead dwells in us (Rom. 8:11).

Discussion & Reflection:

  1. What areas of darkness in your community or personal life do you feel God is calling you to engage with his light?
  1. How does the reality that Jesus is the “light of the world” (Jn 8:12) affect the way you view the brokenness and darkness around you?
  1. In what ways have you hesitated to engage in uncomfortable or risky situations because of fear? 

   

Prayer   

Lord, thank you for the incredible privilege of carrying the light of Jesus into the darkness of this world. We praise you for your unfailing love, and for sending your Son to seek and save the lost, heal the brokenhearted, and set captives free. We ask that you give us courage to step out in faith, even when it means walking into difficult and uncomfortable places. Help us to be obedient to your call, not shrinking back in fear but trusting in the power of your Spirit who dwells within us. Empower us to shine brightly, Lord, and to be vessels of hope, healing, and reconciliation in this world. Use us for your glory and the advancement of your kingdom.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Part II: Overcoming Fear and Taking Spirit-Led Risks

“For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” – 2 Timothy 1:7

Fear is one of the greatest obstacles that prevents us from engaging the darkness. It’s a natural human response when we’re confronted with the unknown, the uncomfortable, or the potentially dangerous. But as children of God, we’re called to walk in faith, not fear. In this section, we’ll explore how to overcome our fears and take Spirit-led risks for the Kingdom.

But one of the biggest obstacles we face in engaging the darkness is fear. 

Understanding the Nature of Fear

Before we dive into how to overcome fear, it’s important to understand what fear is and where it comes from. Fear, at its core, is a God-given emotion designed to protect us from genuine threats. However, the enemy often distorts this emotion, using it to paralyze us and prevent us from fulfilling God’s purposes for our lives.

In 1 Peter 5:8, we are warned, “Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” Notice that Peter doesn’t say the devil is a roaring lion, but that he is “like” one. The enemy uses fear to make himself seem larger and more threatening than he actually is. He wants us to be afraid, to cower, even when there is no real threat.

Conversely, throughout Scripture, we see God frequently telling his people, “Do not be afraid.” From Joshua as he prepared to lead Israel into the Promised Land (Josh. 1:9) to Mary as she received the news of her miraculous pregnancy (Luke 1:30), God’s message is clear: in his presence and under his command, we have nothing to fear.

My Personal Journey with Fear

I’ll never forget the first time I shared with my husband, Josh, that I felt God calling me to minister in strip clubs. We were newlyweds, just starting to build our life together. The thought of his new bride venturing into such dark, potentially dangerous places was understandably unsettling.

But you know what he said to me? “Rachelle, that’s exactly what Jesus would do. And if Jesus is sending you, he’ll protect you.” With those words, Josh became my greatest supporter in this crazy adventure God has sent us on. Time and time again, we’ve witnessed God’s faithfulness in keeping me safe as I follow his lead.

Still, the fear was very real, especially in the beginning. I had to confront my own prejudices and preconceived notions about the industry. I had to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. I had to die to my pride and be willing to look foolish, to be misunderstood, and even maligned for the sake of loving people as Jesus does.

Through this journey, I’ve learned a crucial truth: Courage isn’t the absence of fear, it’s choosing to obey God in the face of our fears. It’s fixing our eyes on “Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith” (Heb. 12:2) and following hard after him, no matter the cost. 

The Difference Between Wisdom and Fear

This doesn’t mean we should act recklessly or put ourselves in unnecessary danger. Wisdom and discernment are vital when engaging with broken places and people. Proverbs 22:3 tells us, “The prudent sees danger and hides himself, but the simple go on and suffer for it.”

There’s a crucial difference between godly wisdom and fear-based decision-making. Wisdom seeks God’s guidance, considers potential risks, and moves forward in faith. Fear, on the other hand, paralyzes us, causing us to shrink back from what God is calling us to do.

For example, when we first started our outreach to strip clubs, we put safety measures in place. We always went in teams, had prayer coverage, and maintained clear boundaries. This wasn’t operating in fear; it was applying wisdom to our calling.

Taking Spirit-Led Risks

Being led by the Spirit often involves taking risks — stepping out of our comfort zones and into the unknown. It means being willing to look foolish in the eyes of the world, to go against societal norms for the sake of the gospel.

Think about Peter stepping out of the boat in Matthew 14. Was it risky? Absolutely. Did it defy logic? Yes. But it was in response to Jesus’ invitation. Peter’s willingness to take that risk led to an incredible faith-building experience.

Throughout Scripture and church history, we see countless examples of men and women who took great risks for the kingdom:

  • Esther risked her life to save her people from genocide, saying, “If I perish, I perish” (Est. 4:16).
  • Daniel continued to pray openly to Yahweh despite the king’s edict, knowing it could cost him his life (Dan. 6:10).
  • The apostles preached the gospel in the face of intense persecution, declaring, “We must obey God rather than men” (Acts 5:29).
  • Corrie ten Boom and her family hid Jews in their home during the Holocaust, risking everything for the sake of others.
  • Jim and Elisabeth Elliot ventured into the Ecuadorian jungle to reach an unreached tribe, ultimately giving their lives for the gospel.

None of these individuals were fearless. But they had a greater awe of God and passion for his purposes than they did fear of man or death. They understood Jesus’ words: “For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it” (Matt. 16:25).

The Power Available to Us

The same power that enabled these heroes of the faith to take great risks for the kingdom is available to us today. As sons and daughters of the king, we have nothing to fear. Romans 8:31 reminds us, “If God is for us, who can be against us?” Isaiah 54:17 declares that no weapon formed against us shall prosper. And Psalm 91:1 assures us of God’s protection when we abide under his shadow.

Moreover, we have the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit. Acts 1:8 promises, “you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.” This power is transformative and more than enough to overcome our fears.

Practical Steps to Overcome Fear

Overcoming fear is a process, but here are some practical steps that can help you start moving forward in faith:

  • Identify your fears: What specifically are you afraid of? Name your fears and bring them into the light.
  • Counter lies with truth: Often, our fears are based on lies we’ve believed. Combat these lies with the truth of God’s Word.
  • Start small: You don’t have to start by doing the scariest thing. Take small steps of faith and build your “courage muscle.”
  • Visualize accomplishing the mission: Instead of imagining worst-case scenarios, picture God working powerfully through your obedience.
  • Remember past faithfulness: Recall times when God has come through for you in the past. If he did it before, he can do it again.
  • Seek godly counsel: Surround yourself with faith-filled believers who will encourage you to step out in faith.
  • Pray for boldness: Like the early church in Acts 4:29, ask God to grant you supernatural courage to speak and act boldly for him.

The Reality of Opposition

Does this mean we’ll never face hardship, defeat, or even martyrdom as we push back darkness? No. Jesus was clear that in this world, we will have trouble (John 16:33). But he follows that sobering reality with an incredible promise: “But take heart; I have overcome the world.” We may face opposition, ridicule, or even persecution as we step out in faith. But we’re promised that Jesus will be with us always, supplying the strength, courage, and direction we need every step of the way. And we’re assured that eternal rewards await us for our faithfulness.

I can tell you from years on the front lines of ministry — there is no greater joy than being spent for the gospel. Seeing even one lost soul encounter the love of God makes every moment of discomfort, every awkward conversation, and every spiritual battle worth it.

A Call to Action

So, what is God calling you to risk for his kingdom? Where is he beckoning you to be brave and step out in faith? Maybe it’s finally sharing the gospel with that coworker you’ve been praying for. Perhaps it’s signing up for that short-term mission trip you’ve been considering. It could be launching the ministry that’s been burning in your heart, or opening your home to foster or adopt a child in need.

Whatever it is, know this: on the other side of your obedience lies a great adventure with Jesus. Yes, there will be fears to face, giants to slay, and mountains to climb. But oh, the view from the top! The treasures you’ll store up in heaven! The “well done” you’ll hear from your Savior one day!

Remember, fear loses its power when we step out in faith. The darkness is just waiting for the 

light.  

Discussion & Reflection:

  1. What specific fears have been holding you back from fully following God’s call on your life?
  2. How can you start taking small Spirit-led steps of faith to overcome fear and grow in obedience to God?
  3. When was the last time you experienced God’s faithfulness in a situation where you stepped out in faith? How does that encourage you now?

Prayer

Lord, grant me the courage to step out in faith, trusting in your strength to overcome my fears. Help me to take Spirit-led risks, knowing that your power is made perfect in my weakness. In Jesus name, Amen.

Part III: Practical Ways to Reach the Hurting and Lost

“Let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” – Matthew 5:16

As we get into the practical aspects of engaging with the hurting and lost, it’s crucial to ground our actions in solid theological understanding. Our outreach isn’t merely a set of techniques or strategies; it’s a reflection of God’s heart and an extension of his hands and feet on this earth. 

The Theological Foundation for Outreach

  1. The Image of God (Imago Dei): Genesis 1:27 tells us that all humans are created in God’s image. This fundamental truth should shape how we view and interact with every person we encounter, regardless of their current state or lifestyle. Each individual, no matter how broken or lost, bears the divine imprint and has inherent worth and dignity.
  2. The Great Commission: In Matthew 28:19–20, Jesus commands us to “go and make disciples of all nations.” This isn’t a suggestion but a mandate for all believers. Our outreach is a direct response to this call, participating in God’s redemptive plan for humanity.
  3. The Ministry of Reconciliation: 2 Corinthians 5:18–20 describes us as “Christ’s ambassadors” entrusted with the “ministry of reconciliation.” Our role is to represent Christ and his message of reconciliation to a world alienated from God.
  4. The Body of Christ: Ephesians 4:11–16 outlines how the body of Christ functions, with each member playing a vital role. Our individual efforts in outreach contribute to the overall mission of the church in building God’s kingdom.
  5. The Fruit of the Spirit: Galatians 5:22–23 lists the fruit of the Spirit, which should be evident in our lives as we engage with others. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control should characterize our interactions.

With this theological framework in mind, let’s explore practical ways to reach the hurting and lost:

Prayer: The Foundation of Effective Outreach

“Pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.” – Ephesians 6:18

Prayer isn’t just a prelude to outreach; it’s an integral part of the process. Through prayer, we align our hearts with God’s, gain spiritual discernment, and invite his power into our efforts.

Practical Application:

  • Develop a prayer strategy for your outreach efforts.
  • Create a prayer calendar, focusing on specific individuals or groups each day.
  • Organize prayer walks in your community, asking God to reveal needs and opportunities.

Cultivate a Listening Heart

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” – James 1:19

Active listening is a powerful tool in reaching others. It demonstrates genuine care and opens doors for deeper conversations.

Practical Application:

  • Practice reflective listening, repeating back what you’ve heard to ensure understanding.
  • Ask open-ended questions that invite people to share their stories and beliefs.
  • Resist the urge to immediately offer solutions or counterarguments.

Share Your Personal Testimony

“Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect.” – 1 Peter 3:15

The story of God’s work in your life is a powerful witnessing tool. It’s a unique account that no one can dispute.

Practical Application:

  • Write out your testimony in both a short (three-minute) and long (ten-minute) version.
  • Practice sharing your testimony with a friend or family member.
  • Look for natural opportunities to weave elements of your story into conversations.

Meet Practical Needs

“Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, ‘Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,’ but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it?” – James 2:15–16

Demonstrating God’s love through practical service often opens hearts to the gospel message.

Practical Application:

  • Keep a “love your neighbor” kit in your car with items like water bottles, non-perishable snacks, and gift cards.
  • Volunteer with local organizations that serve vulnerable populations.
  • Look for needs in your immediate community that you can meet (e.g., mowing a neighbor’s lawn, providing meals for a new mom).

Build Genuine Relationships

“For though I am free from all, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win more of them.” – 1 Corinthians 9:19

Effective outreach often happens in the context of authentic relationships. This requires time, patience, and genuine investment in others’ lives.

Practical Application:

  • Invite neighbors or coworkers over for meals regularly.
  • Join community groups or clubs related to your interests.
  • Be intentional about following up with people and showing consistent care.

Use Your Unique Gifts and Passions

“Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.” – 1 Peter 4:10

God has uniquely gifted you. Using these gifts in outreach allows you to serve authentically and effectively.

Practical Application:

  • Identify your spiritual gifts and natural talents.
  • Brainstorm ways to use these gifts in outreach (e.g., if you’re musical, consider playing at a nursing home).
  • Look for ministry opportunities that align with your passions and skills.

Collaborate with Others

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor.” – Ecclesiastes 4:9

We’re not meant to engage in mission alone. Partnering with others multiplies our impact and provides needed support and accountability.

Practical Application:

  • Get involved with your church’s outreach initiatives.
  • Partner with reputable Christian organizations in your area.
  • Form a small group focused on local mission and outreach.

Engage in Spiritual Warfare

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” – Ephesians 6:12

Recognize that outreach involves spiritual battle. We must be equipped with spiritual armor and rely on God’s power.

Practical Application:

  • Regularly put on the full armor of God (Eph. 6:10-18).
  • Learn to recognize and resist spiritual attacks.
  • Develop a network of prayer warriors to support your outreach efforts.

Practice Cultural Intelligence

“To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews… I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some.” – 1 Corinthians 9:20, 22

Understanding and respecting cultural differences is crucial in effective outreach, especially in diverse communities.

Practical Application:

  • Study the cultural background of the people you’re trying to reach.
  • Learn basic greetings or phrases in other languages spoken in your community.
  • Be sensitive to cultural norms and practices.

Persevere in Love

“Love is patient, love is kind… It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4, 7

Reaching the hurting and lost is often a long-term process. Perseverance and consistent love are key.

Practical Application:

  • Commit to long-term involvement in your chosen outreach activities.
  • Don’t be discouraged by apparent lack of results; trust God with the outcomes.
  • Regularly remind yourself of God’s patient love for you.

Be Prepared to Give an Answer

“But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.” – 1 Peter 3:15

While our actions often speak louder than words, we must also be ready to articulate our faith when opportunities arise.

Practical Application:

  • Study basic apologetics to address common questions and objections.
  • Develop a clear, concise explanation of the gospel message.
  • Practice sharing your faith with other believers to gain confidence.

Embrace the Power of Story

“Jesus spoke all these things to the crowd in parables; he did not say anything to them without using a parable.” – Matthew 13:34

Jesus often used stories to convey deep truths. Similarly, we can use stories — both from Scripture and our own lives — to connect with others and illustrate God’s truth.

Practical Application:

  • Familiarize yourself with key biblical narratives and their applications.
  • Learn to recognize and share “God moments” from your own life.
  • Use analogies and illustrations to explain spiritual concepts.

Remember, dear sister, that reaching the lost isn’t about having all the right words or techniques. It’s about allowing God’s love to flow through you to a hurting world. As you step out in faith, trust that the Holy Spirit will guide you and give you the words to speak.

Discussion & Reflection:

  1. Which of these practical tips resonates most with you? Why?
  2. What’s one step you can take this week to engage with someone who needs to know Jesus?
  3. How can you involve your family or Christian friends in your outreach efforts?
  4. In what ways do you need to grow in your understanding of biblical theology to strengthen your outreach?

Prayer

Lord, give us your heart for the lost. Open our eyes to the opportunities around us and give us courage to step out in faith. Use us as vessels of your love and truth in a dark world. Equip us with knowledge, wisdom, and discernment as we seek to reach others. May our words and actions always point to you. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Part IV: Maintaining an Eternal Perspective as Wives and Mothers

“Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.” – Colossians 3:2

I’m going to be honest with you: following Jesus into dark and broken spaces is hard as a wife and mom. There have been countless times I’ve had to wrestle through mom guilt, waves of fear for my safety, and the never-ending struggle to be fully present with my family while pouring out for ministry.

Can you relate? Perhaps you feel the tension of wanting to make a difference for God’s kingdom but also wanting to honor him by loving your family well, of longing for more time to serve but feeling maxed out by the 24/7 demands of motherhood. It’s a balancing act, to be sure.

But here’s what God has shown me: it’s not an either/or, it’s a both/and. We can pursue God’s calling in our lives while stewarding well the precious families he’s given us. In fact, I’d argue we must. Because the world is in too desperate a state for us to be sidelined by an unbiblical view of motherhood.

Please hear my heart: I’m not at all diminishing the high calling of pouring into our children and homes. It’s one of the most important kingdom investments we can make, and it takes massive amounts of prayer, love, and intentionality.

But what if instead of separating the sacred work of mothering from the sacred work of ministry, we saw them as beautifully intertwined? What if we recognized that some of the most powerful evangelism and discipleship we’ll ever do is around our own kitchen tables? That as we model for our kids what it looks like to love Jesus and love like Jesus, we’re raising up arrows to be shot out into culture for his glory?

This paradigm shift has been revolutionary for me. Suddenly, the everyday tasks of motherhood take on eternal significance. As I’m changing diapers, I’m praying for my children to be world-changers for Jesus. As I’m driving them to school, we’re memorizing Scripture and talking about how to show Jesus’ love to their classmates. As I’m tucking them in at night, I’m imparting biblical truth and blessing over their lives.

And you know what? My children are catching the vision! They get excited about filling hygiene bags for the women at Scarlet Hope. They pray bold prayers for the lost. They talk about the importance of caring for the poor and hurting. And while ministry may take me away from them at times, they know it’s for the advancement of God’s kingdom.

Here are some practical ways to maintain an eternal perspective as wives and mothers while engaging in kingdom work:

Redefine Success in Light of Eternity

It’s easy to get caught up in the world’s definition of success. As moms, we often feel pressure to have spotless homes, perfectly behaved children, and Instagram-worthy lives. But that’s not how God measures success. He looks at our faithfulness, our hearts, and our willingness to invest in the eternal things that really matter.

When we redefine success through the lens of eternity, we free ourselves from unrealistic expectations. Success is not about having it all together or checking off every item on our to-do list. It’s about being faithful to God’s call in our lives and trusting him with the rest.

In Matthew 6:33, Jesus reminds us to “seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” When our priorities are aligned with his, we can trust him to provide for our needs — both in our homes and in our ministries.

Involve Your Children in Ministry

One of the most beautiful ways we can maintain an eternal perspective as wives and mothers is by involving our children in ministry. Not only does this help them develop a heart for the lost, but it also creates opportunities for quality time together.

When my kids help fill hygiene bags for the women at Scarlet Hope, they are learning firsthand what it means to serve others. When they pray bold prayers for the lost, they are beginning to understand the power of intercession. And when they hear about the lives being transformed through our ministry, they are catching a vision for the advancement of God’s kingdom.

Children are not too young to engage in missions. In fact, Proverbs 22:6 encourages us to “train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” By including our children in ministry from an early age, we are shaping them into future leaders, disciples, and world-changers.

Practical Tips for Involving Your Kids in Ministry:

  • Model service: Let your children see you serving others. Whether it’s cooking a meal for a family in need of helping a neighbor, your actions will speak volumes.
  • Invite them into prayer: Pray together as a family for those you’re serving. Encourage your kids to pray for their own friends and neighbors.
  • Create kid-friendly service opportunities: Find ways for your children to serve that are appropriate for their age. They can help pack food bags, write notes of encouragement, or participate in community clean-up efforts.

Prioritize Your Marriage

A strong, Christ-centered marriage provides the foundation for both family life and ministry. When our marriages are healthy, they reflect God’s love to the world around us. But in the midst of juggling ministry and motherhood, it’s easy to neglect our spouses.

Ephesians 5:33 says, “Let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” This biblical command reminds us that our marriages should reflect mutual love, honor, and respect. As we serve our families and engage in ministry, we must be intentional about prioritizing time with our spouses.

Practical Tips for Prioritizing Your Marriage:

  • Regular date nights: Set aside time each week for a date night, even if it’s at home after the kids go to bed. This time together will strengthen your relationship and keep you connected.
  • Open communication: Talk openly with your spouse about the challenges of balancing ministry and family life. Share your fears, frustrations, and hopes, and be intentional about supporting one another.
  • Pray together: Prayer is one of the most powerful ways to strengthen your marriage. Pray for one another, for your children, and for the ministry you’re involved in.

Manage Your Time and Create Margin

One of the biggest challenges in balancing family and ministry is time management. Between school drop-offs, work, house chores, and ministry, the days can feel overwhelming. But God calls us to live wisely with the time we’ve been given.

Ephesians 5:15–16 says, “Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.” Time is one of our most precious resources, and it’s important to use it intentionally.

Creating margin in your schedule is essential. If every moment is packed full, there’s no room for spontaneous ministry opportunities or quality time with family. By intentionally leaving space in our schedules, we give God room to work in unexpected ways.

Practical Tips for Managing Your Time:

  • Time blocking: Set aside specific blocks of time for family, ministry, and rest. This helps ensure that no area of your life is being neglected.
  • Learn to say no: You can’t do everything. Pray for discernment about which opportunities to pursue and which to decline. Saying no to good things allows you to say yes to the best things. 
  • Sabbath rest: Make Sabbath rest a priority in your life. Use this time to recharge physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Remember, dear sister, that your primary ministry is to your family. But that doesn’t mean it’s your only ministry. As you seek God’s wisdom and leading, he will show you how to balance your roles as wife, mother, and laborer for the gospel.

Of course, this requires constantly surrendering our time and schedule to the Lord: asking him what to say “yes” and “no” to in each season, being fully present and engaged when we are home, and prioritizing regular rest to recharge and enjoy our families.

But more than anything, it requires keeping an eternal perspective front and center. It requires remembering that this life is but a vapor (James 4:14), and we only have a short time to make a difference for Jesus. Souls hang in the balance, and the sacrifices we make for the gospel will echo into eternity.

One day, we’ll stand before the throne of God and give an account of how we spent our lives (2 Cor. 5:10). On that day, I want to hear him say, “Well done, good and faithful servant. You poured out every ounce of what I gave you — your time, treasures, talents, family — for my glory and the salvation of the lost. Enter into your Father’s joy!”

Discussion & Reflection:

  1. In what ways have you felt tension between your roles as a wife/mother and your desire to engage in ministry?
  2. How can you involve your children more intentionally in your outreach efforts?
  3. What’s one area where you need to create more margin in your life to be available for God’s purposes?

Prayer

Lord, help us to see our roles as wives and mothers through Your eyes. Show us how to balance our family responsibilities with Your call to reach the lost. Give us wisdom to make eternal investments both in our homes and in the world around us while we look for ways to engage the darkness and bring the light of Christ to a hurting world. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Conclusion: The Call to Shine in the Darkness

As we come to the close of this journey together, I want to encourage you to reflect on everything we’ve explored in this field guide. The darkness in our world can often feel overwhelming, and at times, the call to engage it may seem like more than we can handle. But remember, God has not left us unequipped.

He has given us his Spirit to empower us, his Word to guide us, and his church to walk alongside us. We are never called to engage the darkness alone. We go with the light of Christ shining within us, and that light can never be extinguished.

John 1:5 says, “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” This is the promise we cling to. No matter how dark the world may seem, no matter how broken the people we encounter may be, the light of Christ is stronger. It brings hope to the hopeless, healing to the wounded, and redemption to the lost.

Will You Step Into the Darkness?

So, dear sister, will you step into the darkness? Will you trust God with the fears and uncertainties that hold you back? Will you surrender your time, your talents, and your heart to his mission?

The adventure that awaits you is beyond anything you can imagine. Yes, there will be challenges. Yes, there will be moments of doubt. But there will also be moments of breathtaking beauty — moments when you see God transform a life, when you witness a lost soul come home, and when you experience the joy of being used by him to make an eternal impact.

Jesus calls us to follow him, and that often means walking into uncomfortable places, risking our reputations, and laying down our lives for the sake of others. But as we do, we find that we are not alone. He is with us every step of the way, empowering us, protecting us, and filling us with his unshakable peace.

A Vision for the Future: Raising Up the Next Generation

As wives and mothers, we also have the incredible privilege of raising up the next generation of world-changers. Our children are watching us. They see how we serve, how we love, and how we trust God with our lives. As they grow, they will take what they have learned from us and carry the light of Christ into their own mission fields.

Proverbs 31:28 speaks of children rising up and calling their mother blessed. What greater blessing could there be than seeing our children walking in the truth, living out the gospel, and shining the light of Christ in the dark places of this world?

Let’s commit to raising our children with an eternal perspective. Let’s teach them to value what God values. Let’s show them that a life lived for the kingdom is the most fulfilling life of all.

So here is your challenge: Where is God calling you to shine his light? Shine his light for the world to see! 

Rachelle Starr is the Founder and President of Scarlet Hope, a national Christian organization dedicated to sharing the hope and love of Jesus with women in the adult entertainment industry. As a passionate advocate for engaging the darkness with the light of Christ, Rachelle inspires others to live boldly for the gospel. She is also the author of Outrageous Obedience, where she shares her journey of faith and radical obedience to God’s call.