#25 Anger in the Bible — How to Break Free and Find True Peace

Part I: Understanding Your Anger

Unmasking Your Anger

Most of us see anger in one dimension: explosive, verbally attacking, and sometimes violent. But anger can wear many faces. It might be quiet and withdrawn, pouty and sulking. It can manifest as boundless and productive energy or be loud and obnoxious. To how to overcome anger biblically, we must first unmask it. So how can you know if you’re prone to anger?

You might be angry if, when you think of a particular person, you engage in mental arguments with them (which, of course, you always win) or focus on their less flattering qualities. This is often how we show to deal with hidden anger and resentment—by letting it simmer in the mind. When you see them in person, you work hard to avoid them, always in an under-the-radar way.

You might be angry if you manifest certain physical symptoms, like migraines, gastrointestinal disorders, insomnia, or depression. There is a strong link between hurt and anger, and when it is suppressed, it often leaks out through the body.

You might be angry if your productivity has fallen off or you have trouble concentrating even on simple tasks. This is a clear sign of how anger affects your spiritual life and mental focus. You might be angry if you’re short with others (my wife calls it “flaring”) or are generally impatient with life’s twists and turns. You might be angry if little children of any sort — your kids, grandkids, church kids — are a constant source of irritation. You might be angry if the quirks of others and especially your spouse’s seem constantly vexing and produce predictable grumbling.

Yes, anger has many masks. So the first order of business is exposure, for it’s impossible to treat a disease if you don’t recognize the symptoms and the root causes of anger in the Bible.

Classifying Your Anger

Having unmasked our anger, we’re ready to classify it, for not all anger is equal. There’s a profound difference between righteous anger and sinful anger.

God has made us with numerous emotions and affections — joy and sadness, love and hate, jealousy, passion, anger, fear. There are sinful and nonsinful versions of each one. People are often fearful without being sinful, but if it reflects a lapse in one’s trust in God and becomes paralyzing and prevents one from doing one’s duty, now it’s sin. The Scripture enjoins us, “Be angry and [yet] do not sin” (Eph. 4:26). Clearly, anger in the Bible is not always viewed as inherently evil.

In fact, righteous anger is the proper response to all that is evil. Indeed, Phinehas was commended by God for his righteous indignation when he stopped the plague by impaling the Simeonite and his Midianite lover (Num. 25:1–15). Likewise, Samuel displayed righteous anger over Saul’s refusal to obey the Lord and destroy the Amalekites when Samuel hacked to death Agag, king of the Amalekites (1 Sam. 15:32–33).

But the chief apologetic for the existence of non-sinful anger is God himself. What does the Bible say about anger regarding the Divine? Scripture often speaks of God’s wrath in punishing the wicked. And Jesus cleansing the temple: an example of righteous anger (Mark 11:15–19) shows us that anger can be motivated by a zeal for God’s holiness. Indeed, when Jesus returns, the wicked will hide “themselves … calling to the mountains and the rocks, ‘Fall on us and hide us from the face of him who is seated on the throne, and from the wrath of the Lamb, for the great day of their wrath has come, and who can stand?’” (Rev. 6:15–17).

Since it is possible to be angry and yet not sin, when does anger cross the line? When does it overflow its banks and wreak havoc both on others and on one’s own soul?

Sinful anger is anger that results in attitudes and actions contrary to the law of love, the second great commandment. Colossians 3:8 says, “But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.” Clearly, Scripture is talking about sinful anger by virtue of anger’s associates — malice, slander, obscene talk. Ephesians 4:31 adds bitterness and clamor; all are grievous to the role of the Holy Spirit in controlling anger (Eph. 4:30). 

Addressing Your Anger

So sinful anger harms our relationship with God and others. But isn’t anger as common as a snowy day in Vermont? Do we really need to be concerned about little daily fits of anger? Is anger a sin that requires immediate attention?

Absolutely! Anger must be addressed thoroughly and quickly. Here’s why.

First, Scripture gives dire and frequent warnings regarding sinful anger. The “works of the flesh” include “enmity, strife, jealousy, [and] fits of anger,” and “those who [practice] such things will not inherit the kingdom of God” (Gal. 5:20–21).

James, writing to the churches to help them distinguish true faith from devil faith, admonishes them to “be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God (James 1:19–20). This provides a foundational Christian anger management technique: listening more than speaking.

Jesus also makes it clear in the Sermon on the Mount that unchecked anger breaks the sixth commandment, which prohibits murder: “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire” (Matt. 5:21–22).

Anger is nothing to smirk at. Consider Cain and Abel: the danger of unchecked anger; it led directly to the first murder. A lifestyle of habitual anger marks even the most earnest professing believer as possessing devil faith and subject to God’s eternal wrath. If your life is characterized by anger, you need to dial 911, for “it is a terrifying thing to fall into the hands of the living God” (Heb. 10:32).

But anger is often a besetting sin even for true believers. Why declare war on it? Because unchecked anger is a river overflowing its banks. James describes the angry tongue as “a restless evil, full of deadly poison” (James 3:8). When sinful anger fills the heart, “malice, slander and obscene talk” invariably fill the mouth (Col. 3:8).

So sinful anger is a threat to your soul and a danger to your relationships. It must be taken seriously and addressed vigorously. That everyone occasionally loses their temper is no excuse for giving anger a pass. Finding freedom from chronic anger as christian requires a commitment to change.

The good news is that it can be overcome. In fact, for the believer, it is being progressively overcome from one degree of glory to another (2 Cor. 3:18). But how? How to react to provocation as a Christian and overcoming a hot temper with God’s help are the next steps. In the next section, we’ll consider four critical components to overcoming anger.

—

Discussion & Reflection:

1. How does this section shed light on your understanding of your own anger?
2. In what situations do you find yourself most angry?
3. What is the thing you get most angry about?

—

Part II: Can You Overcome Your Anger?

Power for Overcoming Anger

The power of God is necessary in all matters related to holiness, and our struggle with the sin of anger is no exception. But what is the source of that power? How does God communicate this power to hapless, helpless sinners like us? And what is the promised result of having God’s power in our lives?

The Gospel: The Source of God’s Power

Romans 1:16 says, “For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek.” The gospel is the power of God for salvation, for holiness, for overcoming the sin of anger, for everyone who believes. How does that work? Let’s look to Romans 6:1–7 for the answer:

Paul is saying that if you are a believer, you were united to Jesus in his sin-killing death by faith alone. This union with Jesus in his death is the best assurance that one day you will be united with him in his resurrection. But how were you united?

The Holy Spirit: The Instrument of God’s Power

When you came to Christ, an amazing thing happened. God’s Spirit joined you to Christ in his death. He gave you a new heart. Specifically, he circumcised your old heart by removing the foreskin of sin that formerly dwelt there and controlled your heart (Rom. 2:25–29), and he empowered your new heart by inscribing God’s law upon it, enabling you to walk in its statutes, albeit imperfectly (Ezek. 36:26–27, Rom. 8:1–4, 2 Cor. 3:1–3, Heb. 8:10).

He filled you with himself and thus initiated the process of filling you completely with the Triune God at Christ’s appearing (Acts 1:4–5, 2:4; 1 Cor. 12:13; Eph. 3:15–19). And the role of the Holy Spirit in controlling anger begins here, as He is the downpayment for your future inheritance and union with Christ in his resurrection (Rom. 5:9–10, 6:5; Eph. 1:13–14).

So God’s Spirit is the instrument of God’s power, freeing you from sin’s dominion: “For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death” (Rom. 8:2). This is how we begin finding freedom from chronic anger as christian. So what’s the value of your union with Christ in his death by his Spirit? Sin’s power over you has been broken.

Read that again: sin’s power over you has been broken! The old self was crucified (Rom. 6:6). Sin no longer has dominion, for the one who has died is freed from sin’s power (Rom. 6:7). As Paul says, “But thanks be to God, that you who were once slaves of sin have become obedient from the heart to the standard of teaching to which you were committed, and having been set free from sin, have become slaves of righteousness” (Rom. 6:17–18).

Freedom: The Result of God’s Power

The work of Christ as revealed in the gospel is the source of God’s power in you, and the Spirit of Christ, who joins us to Christ by faith, is its instrument. And the result? Freedom! Freedom from sin’s suffocating dominion. Listen again to Romans 6, this time verses 12–14:

Sin’s reign has ended. Believers are now free — not to sin, but to present themselves and their members to God for righteousness. There’s a new sheriff in town and his name is Jesus, God’s Son, and when he sets a person free, that person is free indeed from sin’s mastery (John 8:36). Hallelujah! This is the ultimate Biblical definition of anger-management: replacing the mastery of emotion with the mastery of Christ.

Romans 8:12–13 says this of the Spirit’s work: “So then, brothers, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the body, you will live.” Notice Romans 8:13 is not a commandment, but a description of the normal Christian life. All true believers are progressively, by God’s Spirit, putting to death the deeds of the body because they are no longer debtors to the flesh. As Paul said earlier, believers are “not in the flesh but in the Spirit” (Rom. 8:9), for “the mind that is set on the flesh … does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God” (Rom. 8:7–8).

But there seems to be a catch. If Christ truly sets us free from sin’s controlling power, how do we explain the Romans 7 “believer” who still appears to be enslaved in some way to his sin? If we’re truly free to respond to life’s twists and turns with joy and not anger, what do we do with Romans 7:13–25?

In these verses, Paul seems to be describing a believer’s struggle with sin:

If this man has been freed from sin, how do we explain his inability to resist the law of sin which indwells him (Rom. 7:20–21)? Is this not clear evidence that believers, even the great Apostle Paul, are still somehow enslaved to their sin?

However, a closer examination of the passage reveals that the Apostle Paul is describing his life before Christ. We see this first in Paul’s own description of himself. Romans 7:14 says, “For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am of the flesh, sold under sin.” Surely one who has been redeemed from slavery to sin cannot be sold under it.

Paul continues: “I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing” (Rom. 7:18–19). He continues: “For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members” (Rom. 7:22–23). The Romans 7 man is consistently defeated by and enslaved to sin, marking him as unregenerate, which follows Romans 6:1–23, 7:1–12, 8:1–17 and texts like John 8:36.

We must also consider the main point of the passage. Paul is seeking to exonerate the law as the cause of his death and instead, place that charge squarely on sin. The question that introduces the passage — “Did that which is good, then, bring death to me?” (Rom. 7:13) — controls all that follows. Paul is inquiring as to the cause of the unbeliever’s condemnation, not the struggle of the believer’s sanctification. And his answer is crisp: Condemnation — spiritual death — was caused, not by the holy, righteous, and good law, but by indwelling sin. The passage has nothing to do with the believer except to explain his bondage to sin before Christ set him free. His pathetic cry as an unbeliever: “Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from the body of death?” is answered by God: “Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!” (Rom. 7:24). Jesus Christ through his Spirit sets the prisoner of sin free (Rom. 8:2).

So Romans 7:13–25 describes a person enslaved to sin and justly condemned to eternal death. This person was not in the Spirit, but still in the flesh, desperate for deliverance and thankful that Jesus through his Spirit has now set him free from the law of sin and death. Had Charles Wesley lived in apostolic times, no doubt the Romans 7 man would have exalted in his freedom from sin’s power singing: “Long my imprisoned spirit lay, fast bound in sin and nature’s night; Thine eye diffused a quick’ning ray—I woke, the dungeon flamed with light. My chains fell off, my heart was free, I rose, went forth, and followed Thee.”

Yes, the power of Christ’s gospel through the agency of God’s Spirit has set the prisoner free, but the residue of sin is strong. Like the odor of a dead skunk lying in the road, that sin, including sinful anger, stinks to high heaven. In the next section, we’ll consider how to overcome anger biblically by looking at practical steps you can take to mortify sin’s presence and dissipate its awful stench. This is the path of overcoming a hot temper with God’s help.

—

Discussion & Reflection:

1. Did any of the above material challenge your view of anger — or any sin — in your life?
2. Can you articulate in your own words why you have hope for overcoming sin? 

—

Part III: Steps to Overcoming Anger

You are a new creation in Christ (2 Cor. 5:17). You can confidently battle sin, for God “is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think … according to the power at work within us” (Eph. 3:20). Praise God!

But we still need to wield that power. Here are five practical steps to take in battling sin:

1. Perceive your sinless Savior
2. Process non-sinful anger
3. Put off sinful anger
4. Put on love
5. Prepare for ongoing struggle

Step 1: Perceive Your Sinless Savior (2 Cor. 3:18)

This first step, the most important of the five, centers on the affections. Jonathan Edwards defined affections as “the vigorous inclinations of the soul.” In 1746, in his magnum opus, Religious Affections, Edwards asserted that, “true religion, in great part, consists in the affections,” rather than consisting mainly in the understanding. Today, we might say that real Christianity or true conversion consists mainly in the heart, not the head.

Thomas Chalmers, the great Scottish preacher who lived nearly a century after Edwards, preached on “The Expulsive Power of a New Affection.” In that sermon, Chalmers explains the process for overcoming worldliness: “You have all heard that Nature abhors a vacuum. Such at least is the nature of the heart; [it] cannot be left void without the pain of most intolerable suffering. … The love of the world cannot be expunged by a mere demonstration of the world’s worthlessness. But may it not be supplanted by the love of that which is more worthy than itself? … [T]he only way to dispossess [the heart] of an old affection is by the expulsive power of a new one.”

What is that new affection? It’s a vigorous inclination for the Lord Jesus Christ himself. Thus, the first step in how to overcome anger biblically is to engage this new affection for Christ by applying the spiritual freedom we now possess. And what does that look like, engaging the new affection, applying that spiritual freedom?

Behold Christ’s Beauty (Ps. 27:4, 2 Cor. 3:12–18, Col. 3:2, Heb. 12:2)

“One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to [behold] the beauty of the Lord and to meditate in his temple” (Ps. 27:4).

We were created to love and honor and worship our Creator. But something happened: sin. When Adam sinned, all of humanity was plunged into sin with its moral impotence, unable to worship or even see God. This is among the root causes of anger in the Bible—a heart disconnected from its Creator.

But the gospel of Jesus Christ changed all that. Second Corinthians 3:12– 18 describes our liberation:

In other words, “I once was lost but now am found, was blind but now I see.” Where the Spirit is, there is freedom to behold God in the person of his Son; freedom to fix our eyes on Jesus (Heb. 12:2); freedom to set our affections on things above (Col. 3:2). Though “we [still] see in a mirror dimly (1 Cor. 13:12),” our vision has been sufficiently restored so that we can behold Christ with eyes of faith and worship our great Triune God through him.

So how do we behold him? This could be a field guide by itself. We behold him in creation, since all things were made through him; we behold him in the church, since all believers are indwelt by him; and most importantly, we behold him in the Scriptures, since all the biblical authors wrote of him (John 5:39–46). We behold Christ most clearly and comprehensively in his Word.

Be Transformed into God’s Image (Rom. 12:2, 2 Cor. 3:18, Col. 3:10)

We become what we behold, or as Greg Beale put it: we become what we worship.¹ Beholding Christ, who is the radiance of God’s glory, results in “being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another” by the power of his indwelling Spirit (2 Cor. 3:17–18). Renewing our minds by setting them on the things above — principally God’s Son — produces transformation into the image of our glorious creator (Rom. 12:2; Col. 3:2, 10). Gazing at Christ, our new affection, is the biblical formula for expelling sinful anger and putting love in its place.

But how does gazing at Christ practically help us with our anger? Two ways. First, as we behold our sinless Savior, we see righteous anger on display as we noted earlier. Jesus was tempted in all things as we are, Hebrews 4 reminds us, yet without sin. When we perceive his character, seeing the beauty of being angry yet without sin, we begin to move in that direction. We’re being transformed into his lovely image.

Second, as we behold our beautiful Savior, we are confronted with his desperation, voiced in his prayers to God for deliverance: “In the days of his flesh, Jesus offered up prayers and supplications, with loud cries and tears, to him who was able to save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverence” (Heb. 5:7). Perceiving, gazing, and beholding Christ leads us to a state of increasing desperation. Obviously, if Jesus was desperate for deliverance, how much more should that be true of us? So we learn how to pray when you feel angry, groaning for deliverance from sin’s presence, which includes our sinful anger (Rom. 8:23).

Step 2: Process Non-Sinful Anger (Eph. 4:26–27)

Anger is unstable. It’s like spiritual nitroglycerin in the devil’s hands. And often, timing is the only thing that separates sinful from non-sinful anger, since non-sinful anger can fester quickly. Thus the apostle’s plea: “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger…” (Eph. 4:26).

When Sue and I were first married I was working at mortifying my besetting sin of anger. I was greatly helped by a verse I was studying during our first summer of marriage. Colossians 3:19 says: “Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.” I knew that my harshness with her was a symptom of my anger toward her.

So Sue and I made a pact. We determined that we would not go to bed angry at one another. Not infrequently, we’d be up late identifying any anger in the relationship. This is a vital Christian anger management technique. If it hadn’t already turned sinful, we would address it quickly per Ephesians 4:26 before it turned toxic. If it had already turned, we would proceed to mortify it following step three below.

In the moment, you may not know if the anger is sinful or neutral. The point is you can’t mess around with anger, even unmistakably righteous anger. Like swinging a golf club or preparing a feast, when it comes to anger, timing is everything. You must develop a sense of urgency to address anger, if possible, before it turns sinful and poisons both the relationship and how anger affects your spiritual life.

Step 3: Put Off Sinful Anger (Col. 3:5–8)

Putting off sinful anger is a more complicated process. You must first mortify the sinful anger itself, then seek to uncover and mortify the source(s) of that sinful anger.

Mortify Anger Itself

The first step to mortifying anger can — and should — be done fairly quickly, because anger festers very quickly. There are three components to mortify sinful anger: own it, confess it, and kill it.

1. Own It (Ps. 51:4) The various twelve step programs have one thing in common: A breakthrough occurs when the person finally stands in front of the group and owns his condition. The same is true with sin. The first step in mortifying your sinful anger is to own it: “Hello, my name is _______, and I’m angry.”

When it comes to owning sin, Psalm 51:4 has always spoken to me in a powerful way. By any reckoning, David committed some of the most heinous sins one can commit against another, including adultery and murder. In response to Nathan’s rebuke (2 Sam. 12), David fully owns his sin. That ownership has two distinct aspects. First, he acknowledges that his sin was ultimately against God. What makes sin so utterly sinful is that it rebels against that which is so holy and beautiful. In Psalm 51:4a David says, “Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight.” David saw God’s judgment against him as just because David took full responsibility for his sin. This is the Biblical definition of anger-ownership.

2. Confess It (Matt. 6:12, James 5:16) Once anger is fully owned, it must be roundly and robustly confessed, both to God and, as appropriate, to man. It has been said that confession is good for the soul and bad for the reputation. Regardless, confession is basic to Christianity. In the Lord’s prayer, for instance, Jesus teaches us to confess our sins, soliciting forgiveness from our heavenly Father: “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” (Matt. 6:12).

Confess your anger first to God, then to others as anger usually, like a raging river, causes much collateral damage relationally. James 5:16 is on point: “Therefore confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.” This is one of the Biblical steps to forgiveness and letting go of anger. Confessing to others unleashes corporate prayer with the promise of healing from the sin of anger which so easily entangles.

3. Kill It (Eph. 4:30–31, Col. 3:5–8) By the time Paul issues the imperative to put away sinful anger in Ephesians 4:31, he has already grounded it in the glorious indicatives of the new creation. Thus, Paul is commanding the church to do what it has already been empowered by the role of the Holy Spirit in controlling anger to do.

Colossians 3 is similar. The passage assumes you have been raised to new life with Christ, having died to sin’s power (Col. 3:1–4). Based on that freedom, you’re commanded to mortify your anger: “Put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth” (Col. 3:5a, 8). At this point it would be entirely appropriate to offer a sacrifice of praise and thanksgiving. You are about to mortify sinful anger, to put it away, to engage in the process of killing your sin.

The Son has set you free! Free to say no to sin. Free to stop grieving the Holy Spirit. Free to prevent sinful anger from reigning in your mortal body. So let the killing begin.

But how? How do we put sinful anger to death? It’s not as though I want to be angry. My anger just seems to have a life of its own.

You need to start by reminding yourself that you have a choice. You can choose not to be sinfully angry, even when you’re justly angry. As the apostle exhorted, “Be angry and [yet] do not sin.” This is the difference between righteous anger and sinful anger.

It may seem that you have no choice because your choice muscle is atrophied after years of choosing sin. Your habitual knee-jerk reaction to disappointment and perceived injustices has been sinful anger, leaving the choice muscle flabby and out of shape. The muscle is waiting to be trained in righteousness. It needs regular exercise to excel at godly performance — in this case, choosing not to respond with bitterness, slander, or malice.

The Holy Spirit does not mortify sin against your will. No, he works best with those intent on working out their salvation with fear and trembling (Phil. 2:12–13). And here’s the good news: practice makes progress in most of life’s endeavors, including the pursuit of holiness. The more you choose to exercise your freedom not to be angry, the easier that choice becomes.

Perhaps an illustration will help. Recently, while on vacation with my wife, I was flaring. As I confronted my sinful anger, it occurred to me that I was acting like I was still sin’s slave, acting like the Son had not set me free from sin’s power. Upon this realization, I simply exercised my freedom, choosing to stop responding to my circumstances with sinful anger, and instead thanking God for his providential program custom designed to make me holy (Heb. 12:7–11). This is overcoming a hot temper with God’s help.

Because of our union with Christ in his death, and through the power of his indwelling Spirit, you (and all believers) are free to say “no” to a sinful angry response. This is how to react to provocation as a Christian. Each time you say “no,” the habit of anger is weakened, its stench dissipated. Every time you exercise your freedom, the new self within you is renewed just a little bit more into the glorious image of God’s Son.

Mortify Anger’s Source

But saying “no” to sin is not enough. Often there’s a systemic problem that causes anger to resurface over and over. To be more effective in putting away sinful anger, you must drill down into your soul. Frequently, you will discover another sin (or set of sins) that also needs to be put to death. This process is not unlike one of Jonathan Edwards’ famous resolutions. Resolution 24 says, “Resolved: Whenever I do any conspicuously evil action, I will trace it back till I come to the original cause; and then I will carefully endeavor both 1) to do so no more and 2) to fight and pray with all my might against the source of the original impulse.”

But before addressing more systemic problems, let me reiterate that the mortification of your anger does not depend on the discovery of source tensions. You are free to put away anger even if potential underlying issues remain a mystery or go unaddressed. But identifying the root causes of anger in the Bible can help you mortify more systemic sins that could be provoking sinful anger.

To trace back your sinful anger and identify the source problem, often a snake pit of sin itself, you must become a student of yourself, penetrating to the bedrock of your angry behavior. A helpful hint: A good friend, and especially a godly spouse, can prove invaluable with this self-analysis.

The two most common sources of sinful anger are relational tensions and circumstances that go against your plans and expectations. Here we’ll consider how to identify and address each one.

1. Relational Tensions: Clarify, Forbear, and Forgive (Col. 3:12–14)

Relational tensions with family and within the church lead the way in reasons why we get angry. From my pastoral experience, these tensions can be broken down into three categories: tensions from misunderstanding, tensions from amoral differences, and tensions from actual offense and sin. To successfully trace back your sinful anger, the best path is to consider any recent conflicts and then try to analyze the reason for the conflict. You’re mad for a reason and identifying that reason will help you to resolve the systemic problem.

The first step to resolving relational tensions is simple: talk it through with the other person involved. Sometimes you will discover that it’s all been just a big misunderstanding. Once that misunderstanding is clarified, anger dissolves. No harm, no foul, no reason to be angry.

The second type of tension involves differences on issues that may be quite important to one or both parties, yet do not necessarily involve sin. It may be politics, approaches to child-rearing, or differing views on cleanliness or punctuality. What’s the antidote? Forbearance. Not holding the non-sinful differences of others against them. Colossians 3:12–13a says it well: “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another.” This is how to show to deal with hidden anger and resentment—by choosing patience over irritation.

The third tension causes the most pain. Your sin of anger may be rooted in a wrong done to you, perhaps an offense that has never been rectified. You’re nursing a grudge, and it’s poisoning all of your relationships. What’s the antidote? Forgiveness. Colossians 3:13 continues: “…and if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other, as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” These are the Biblical steps to forgiveness and letting go of anger. Forgiveness means choosing to treat the debt owed as already paid. 

2. Contrary Circumstances: Submit to God’s Will (Heb. 12:7–11, James 4:7)

Our systemic struggle may not be primarily relational, but circumstantial or, more accurately, providential. Life just isn’t going as planned. This may concern your health, career, or broader concerns like the economy. In every case, God’s plan was not our plan. So how do we address anger sourced in a struggle with God’s will?

We begin by seeing the circumstance, no matter how traumatic, as from the providential hand of a wise heavenly Father. Hebrews 12:7–11 says:

Until we acknowledge our sovereign God as the architect of our difficult circumstances, we’re tempted to see them as merely human transactions filled with injustice. This leads to anger with God, and the link between hurt and anger becomes a chain of bitterness. But when we accept that the Lord disciplines the one he loves, we can begin to put away our anger.

James 4:7 says it succinctly: “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.” God’s power in the gospel has freed you to submit to your Savior in all circumstances. This is a primary how to overcome anger biblically strategy.

Step 4: Put On Love (Col. 3:14)

At the heart of worship is loving and adoring and beholding our great God. Love as sacrifice is a common theme in Scripture. The most extended and practical expression of sacrificial love is seen in Romans chapters 12–15. Romans 12:1 says: “I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.”

Thus, “to present your bodies as a sacrifice” is another way of saying “to put on love.” Practically, Romans 12 exhorts us today to put on love by employing our grace gifts for the good of the body. Is there anything more Christlike than returning evil with a blessing? This is how to react to provocation as a Christian.

Relationships marked by purity, reconciliation, and sharing correspond to the commands of anger in the Bible (Rom. 13:8–10). We must be quick to confess and quick to forgive. Putting on love means accepting one another—it requires a non-judgmental spirit toward those things not bound by Scripture. It’s hard to be angry with someone for whom you’re sacrificing and laying down your life. It’s hard to be angry when you put on love.

Step 5: Prepare for Ongoing Struggle (1 Pet. 5:5–9)

This sacrifice, this putting on of love, fills the vacuum produced by putting off sin. Yet even with all this killing of sin, sin’s presence remains. This last step combines expectations management with spiritual warfare. Scripture reminds us that the battle with sin and Satan is ongoing: “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith…”
(1 Pet. 5:8–9).

Sin’s power has been broken, but the residue remains. This is why you must understand how anger affects your spiritual life if left unchecked. We must be ready for an ongoing struggle to the death. But we mustn’t despair, for “he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world” (1 John 4:4). This highlights the role of the Holy Spirit in controlling anger.

We can continue to offer ourselves to God by offering sacrifices of praise and prayer. When we sing, “My chains fell off, my heart was free,” we reinforce the truth that no longer are we slaves to sin but slaves to God. This is finding freedom from chronic anger as christian. Offering a sacrifice of prayer is another privilege. With sin’s presence so pervasive, we desperately need God’s help every day. We should learn how to pray when you feel angry, asking for strength to continue to mortify sin by his Spirit. We must pray without ceasing, for our great God is willing and “able to do far more abundantly than all we ask or think according to the power at work within us” (Eph. 3:20). This is the key to overcoming a hot temper with God’s help.

Part IV: Obstacles and Hope for Overcoming Anger

Obstacles

Our steps are clear, our victory sure. Still, when facing a lifelong battle against a ruthless adversary, it’s no surprise that there will be obstacles to putting sinful anger to death. Most obstacles stem from the impediments already introduced in this field guide: confusion over our freedom in Christ, lack of clarity concerning the emotion of anger, and failure regarding our approach to anger.

Perhaps the biggest obstacle is confusion regarding our freedom in Christ. Often, we fail to truly believe that sin’s power has been broken, that the old self has been definitively put off and the new self put on by virtue of our union with Christ by faith. Passages like Romans 7 appear to somehow qualify that freedom, leaving the believer confused and lacking the confidence to continually put off sin and put on righteousness.³ But, as we have seen, when rightly understood, such passages serve to reinforce the freedom from sin’s power already secured for us by God’s Son. This is a crucial element of the Biblical definition of anger-management: knowing you are no longer a slave to your temper.

Lack of clarity about the difference between righteous anger and sinful anger is another obstacle to overcoming anger. As we’ve seen, all emotions have a neutral, amoral base that can, if managed poorly, turn sinful. Years of jumping quickly from amoral anger to bitterness and even verbal abuse dulls our ability to discern the difference, and perhaps even tempts us to deny that a distinction exists. Training our hearts to be angry and yet not sin requires clarity and time. It is helpful to study proverbs about anger to see how the wise man restrains his spirit while the fool gives full vent to his spirit.

We can also fail in our approach to mortifying anger by failing to deal with anger in a timely way or failing to address the root causes of anger in the Bible. More basic, we can fail to take unqualified responsibility for our sinful anger. And we can fail to adopt a ruthless, zero tolerance approach toward anger, as is fitting for something that so grieves the Spirit within us.

But perhaps our biggest failure is to stop hoping for what God has promised. Jesus endured the cross for the joy set before him (Heb. 12:2). And we’re urged to do likewise, to “set our hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ (1 Pet. 1:13). But what is that hope, that joy? And what keeps it from being merely wishful thinking?

Hope

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time” (1 Pet. 1:3–5).

What is our hope? It is nothing less than a promised inheritance, an eternity in God’s presence when sin is finally killed (Rev. 21:9–27), death finally vanquished (Rev. 21:1–8), and our marriage to the Lamb finally consummated (Rev. 19:6–10). Romans 8:28–30 and 35–39 beautifully communicate that hope:

God’s covenantal faithfulness to save his people is our hope, not only in overcoming sinful anger but sin in general. What does the Bible say about anger in the light of eternity? It says that it will one day be replaced by perfect peace. God has promised that all who were foreknown will be glorified, and nothing can thwart that plan; nothing can separate the sheep from the love of their Good Shepherd.

Our future — the so-called “not yet” — is certain. We have complete assurance that we shall be saved from sin’s presence and from the wrath to come (Rom. 5:1–11, 8:18–39). But what locks in that “not yet” promise is the “already” of Romans 5:12–8:17. These verses assure us that God has already saved his people from sin’s penalty and particularly sin’s power. Consider all that God has already accomplished in the believer:

1. We already are no longer in Adam but in Christ (Rom. 5:12–21).
2. We already are no longer under law but under grace (Rom. 6:1–14).
3. We already are no longer slaves to sin but to righteousness (Rom. 6:15–7:25). This is the key to finding freedom from chronic anger as christian.
4. We already are no longer in the flesh but in the Spirit (Rom. 8:1–17).
5. We already are delivered from the body of death, which represents sin’s power (Rom. 7:24, 8:2).

We have assurance regarding God’s deliverance from sin’s presence in the future because we’ve already experienced God’s deliverance from sin’s power in the present. Our final victory over sinful anger, therefore, is assured. Our hope is secure.

Conclusion

In 1975, God was pleased to save me from my sin while I was a student at Ohio State. That fall, I learned that Jesus came to die for my sins and that whoever believed in him would be saved. When I surrendered my life to Christ at the end of that year, I experienced John 8:36; the Son set me free, not only from sin’s awful and eternal penalty, but from sin’s paralyzing and debilitating power. As the hymnist wrote, “My chains fell off, my heart was free, I rose, went forth and followed Thee.” Immediately, the Holy Spirit within me began mortifying the deeds of the body and I began to walk in newness of life.

It occurs to me that you may be reading this field guide thinking that you’re a believer, though still enslaved to sin, or even knowing that you’re not a believer. A regular pattern of sin in your life might indicate that sin’s dominion has not yet been broken. Habits of sexual sin like pornography, of substance abuse with alcohol or marijuana, of anger and its ugly associates — any and all habits of sin should be reason enough for sober examination (1 Cor. 6:9–10, 2 Cor. 13:5, Gal. 5:19–21).

But here’s the good news: Jesus still receives sinners, even church-going types. Don’t let him say to you on that day, “I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness” (Matt. 7:23). Come to Christ today and let his Spirit cleanse you, forgiving sin’s penalty and breaking sin’s power. Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ. Rest completely in his work and enjoy true freedom, for “if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.”

It’s been some fifty years since I began to put my sinful anger to death. And it would be a lie to say that I no longer struggle with it. That’s the nature of besetting, constitutive sins. In fact, at times, I have allowed an angry spirit to hold sway. But by his grace, I have continued to make progress in my long-standing battle with sinful anger. Allow me to share a story that may encourage you in your own battle.

After 16 years of marriage, I received a most coveted award in the form of my wife’s annual, custom-made, year-celebrating Christmas ornament, which she made for each member of the family. Until then, Christmas had been a hard time for me. To be sure, I love to give gifts to others, especially my wife and children. But I hated being forced to do it, particularly under the guise that we were somehow celebrating Christ and his birth. So for the first 16 years of our marriage, Sue had to endure a Scrooge-like husband throughout the Christmas season.

But in 1997, I made peace, accepting that Christmastime was more of a family holiday than a religious one (Gal. 4:12). This allowed me to lean into the season with genuine Christmas cheer and no sense of hypocrisy, which proved to be the significant source of my sinful anger. My Christmas countenance went from grumpy to gracious. And my 1997 ornament? A Santa hat with the inscription: “Most Improved.”

Over nearly five decades, God has continued to help me mortify not only the sin of anger, but many other sins, as he continues to conform me into the beautiful image of his own dear Son. To God be the glory, great things he has done!

Endnotes

1. G. K. Beale, We Become What We Worship: A Biblical Theology of Idolatry (IVP Academic, 2008).
2. This is the ESV alternative reading to James 5:16b.
3. Galatians 5 is a related passage whose misinterpretation has caused much confusion. For a helpful exegesis of Galatians 5:16–18, see Augustine’s commentary on Galatians.

About the Author

WES PASTOR is founder and president of The NETS Center for Church Planting and Revitalization. NETS was started in 2000 by Christ Memorial Church, which Wes planted in 1992 near Burlington, Vermont, and pastored for over thirty years. Wes and his wife, Sue, have five married children and eighteen grandchildren.